What soil, how do you decide when to water, when do you feed and how much, are the leaves that are falling off old, new, or both? How many actual watts does your lights use? What kind of lights? How wide and deep is the canopy (not height the other two measurements)

A picture would also be nice.

I water 2x per week big cup. I dont know the soil etc. This is my first experience with this :/ Bulbs are 50 watt each there are 3. Leaves are new growth and old

A "big cup" of water twice a week sounds more like underwatering to me!! It is very likely water is not penetrating all the way through the potting medium and missing much of the root system. With any sort of houseplant (or any other plant in a container) you want to water thoroughly when you do, until the water runs freely out the bottom drainage holes. Then hold off watering again until the surface dries out (or dry down to your second knuckle when you poke your finger into the soil).

I am also a fan of the Dyna Gro products but I don't fertilize anything in winter - most plants are not in active growth at this time of year and do not require fertilization.

Sorry but those lights are not grow lights. I know they say they are but I promise a 23w cfl will do far more for your plants than those.

I can get different lights and the water hasn't been running out of the bottom so it may need more. The tree was doing well until it started flowering. Would it be recommended to pull the buds off until my guy looks more healthy?

Another question I have regarding the tree fruiting is what about pollination? I have read that you should help the plant along since there are no bees to do so. This is the first time I have seen it growing buds.

I have no idea where anyone gets the idea that pulling buds of the trees helps with growth?

Almost entirely 99% of the time it's a watering issue mixed with a poor draining mix..

As stated above, it's important for every plant in a pot to be flushed every time you water or you run the risk of unevenly moistened roots, salt damage/toxicity and dry pockets...Just one side or a small portion of your roots that misses a good soaking can cause root death and the loss of leaves and next the twigs and branches..

Your goal is to treat the roots properly before you do anything. Pulling buds off will just deny you the fragrance while the roots still continue to rot away either from salt deposits which must be flushed out at least twice a month, or over dried out roots then wet roots..The best soil mix you can use at this time is one that dries out evenly, one you can water freely, and one that forces you to water more often, even in winter. One that does not hold on to salt deposits like a sponge.

You tree will weaken drastically if you don't address the roots asap and or provide more light..

That means either you change it into a new fresh one that almost matches that one until early summer so as to cause no root stress while taking away as much of the older mix as possible. re pot into a pot just one size bigger that the root ball and it should be fine...

Or I would use the pot in pot method id you don't want to re pot at all by sticking that pot into a much bigger pot filled with mulch or soil so that the bottom of that pot touches the mix and wicks away the moisture in the pot your plant is in...Then you can water freely...

Light?

I would make sure I turn that tree once a week so that it gets even true sunlight on all sides..And, I would invest in ones that work well like Laura and others use or something stronger left on for hours...Unless that tree is sitting right on that window sill, it is another reason to loose so many leaves...

By the way, another reason you could be loosing so many leaves is that it is just too big to support the leaves and even twigs in such little sunlight..If it were my tree, I would of cut it back drastically before bringing it since this would of been of better benefit than pulling buds..The less leaves a trees has to support in less light, the less work the roots have to do..

Thank you for all the info. I will be watering much differently, getting new lights, rotating and hoping for the best! I am to nervous to re pot at the moment, but once it looks more stable I will be getting new soil as well.

Here are the cfls I use...they work quite well...

Philips 433557 23W 100-watt T2 Twister 6500K CFL Light Bulb, 4-Pack https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00M6SR1JM/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_tai_HZEwybENDBKB5