I am sure that you can get 2 separate living spaces in 1400 square feet. Each home is so unique and different. When we lived in Sacto we had 1100 square feet and we enjoyed it. One of my relatives had a black screen type thing on her windows in Roseville and it completely kept the glaring sun out. I have never seen anything like what she had it was on the outside and let great light in but not the glaring heat.

Our criteria was open floor plan, 4 beds 3 baths, large lot with pretty backyard, pool and good price. We toured so many homes but we just couldn't find the perfect match so we changed the parameters of the search. Buying a home is kinda like getting married, just like people come with quirks, so do houses. I really wanted a house that had a certain feeling too, which is so personal that it complicated the search. I wanted to feel like the person who owned it, loved it, treasured it, and added their story to it. I found it but it wasn't a 4 bed 3 bath.

I'd come up with a list of must haves and desired.

Then I'd try to quantify as much as possible, i.e. distance of commute, number of bathrooms, and skip the subjective criteria like "gracious layout."

Size cut offs might be not as important as layout.

Do you have www.redfin.com in your area? I find it the most useful. If yes, be prepared to do a lot of prescreening yourself.

the most useful is mls listings the agents give you passwords for

all the rest gets updated at a different speed

i was on probably ten if not more sites simultaneously( upside of getting up really early and reading very fast)..redfin is very user friendly that's true, i like it a lot..but no one site is enough if you want to stay on top of everything

sometimes very locally specialized agencies are good with their listings..but they want you to be their client, otherwise they become reluctant to share

for example i narrowed onto a certain city..the real estate specialists that worked there updated their info much faster than others. alas the moment i honestly told them i have an agent already they said "sorry" and took an access to the site from me. i should have just not answered lol. they would still have hope i'd still have access.

PS I did all the pre-screening myself, last time we searched..don't remember even one house our agent told me about that I haven't seen online at least several hours before her. i'm very efficient in looking for..stuff. could be a detective lol

by the way just to add that I felt a lot like sabbath..and (almost) absolutely all the houses I saw and had lets say feelings for were much smaller than what we needed. sometimes significantly so. there weren't many by the way that i really liked. i remember them all. couple, really fondly. but we needed 4 bedrooms-and they were 2 and a loft. or 2 and a den..or along these lines..))

most places, you just don't feel the connection with. so you think "why? so much money and effort and all, for something that doesn't speak to me.."

My previous home was 1700 sq ft, had separate 'formal' and family - 3 BR, 2 Bath. Kitchen faced West and patio - we added patio cover - solved sun situation. There are tens of ways to resolve your sunny window situation - not a deal breaker.

Your first (I think) MUST is location - that will narrow your search. Then prioritize the remaining MUST HAVES - keep in mind that anything that can be changed, such as the sunny window, is not necessarily a deal breaker - so many people look for the 'perfect' home and ignore what can be fairly inexpensive to change.

1700 sq ft is NOT a large home, at least not in the Houston TX and surrounding areas. Rarely cold in the winter, mostly Jan and Feb. Hot as can be (along with high humidity) June/July/August/part of Sept. My previous house was originally all electric - we were able to add natural gas (for water heater/central heat and could have switched to natural gas dryer and stove, if wanted (I didn't want). Don't think electric bill ever exceeded $400 (and that was in the summer). Good insulation (which isn't all that easy to add later) helps a lot.

Do you know your maximum budget (monthly mortgage payment and downpayment) ? Based on your life style and commute distances, what geographical boundary you have to be in?

Once you defined both, you could ask agent to show you what type of properties are available in meeting these two criteria. Based on the type of availabilities, you could then start narrowing down your list of Needs and Wants.

Have you actually looked at houses in your price range? I would ask an agent to please show you what's available in your price range WITHOUT giving the agent any preconceived ideas. Once you see what's available, then you can start narrowing down your choices.

Location is always a top point for buying a home (unless you work from home, lucky bastards). So how far you're willing to drive from work. Or possibly school zone area for the kids, if not being home schooled.

After that I figure WHY am I moving. That's the next big issues the house must have.

From there it's the I would like to have but could possibly live without.

I recommend not judging a house by the photos or information given. I've seen houses look better or worse compared to them, usually worse. Much to my disappoint as you will daydream about how you think a house will look or work for you LOL.

Another neat thing I found out is one of the someone mentioned earlier, redfin, has a neat feature of showing past sales of a house and even past photos from those old ads. Sometimes a recent ad of it won't give you all the views of the home, but if you use the old ones in conjunction you get a better picture of a home :) It's also the quickly most updated compared to the MLS site realtor gave me access to.

If you're too picky you'll never find a place. My friend is trying to find a place to rent and every place she's looked like has one lil thing wrong with it. For her price range she really can't be that picky!

Don't forget you can ask for things (talk to your realtor about whats realistic of course) and MOST things (other than location, size of property, and some things about the building CAN be changed). Bathroom or kitchen not up dated? House color or flooring not what you like? Great! You can change it to YOUR liking and not what the previous owner decided on :) Might be a bit down the road but if everything else marks your boxes don't let it completely deter you. Don't know what type of funding your doing but they have the one that you can add to for fixing up the house along with the purchase price unless things have changed.

G'luck with your search!

I personally think you now know enough about your likes and dislikes and you should stop thinking about all these details ;) Take your list as is to a realtor, and ask them their opinion. They will help put all that in perspective. That's their job, to help you find a house you like -- if you will sound like a PITA client to them, then it's not a match for you. Interview another realtor. There is certainly somebody out there for you. (There was even somebody out there for a couple I know that had as goal to get a cutthroat price for luxury housing, and I would think _that_ would be a giant PITA!)

Then go see as many houses as possible with your choice realtor. And then see some more. Feel free to take months to do it. My realtor said his record was a couple that took five years to decide, and it sounded like it wasn't unusual for him to be long term about some projects. For example, I know that he was keeping an eye for suitable ranch houses in my area for some elderly clients that wanted to downsize, and he fully expected that to take a couple of years because so few came to market each year. Possibly not all realtors would be comfortable with such an approach, but clearly it's not unheard of, so be clear and unapologetic about being willing to wait to find a house you like.

I might have said that story on this board before, but after seeing many (many!) houses together, our realtor called us one day and said: "I was at a realtor's open house yesterday -- I think this is the house for you." And it was love at first sight! Somehow he distilled our likes and dislikes into something that made sense. Did we get everything we wanted? No, but we really got most of it. So stop thinking and start doing :):)

I would start going to some open houses to see what the homes in your price range offer. If you have an unlimited budget you can probably get everything you want if you wait long enough. However, most of us have a budget. I bought a new house last year, and I had about 5-6 things I wanted, and I ended up having to compromise more than I thought. However, I also lived in a pretty hot market.

And, to be honest, looking at houses online helps but it's not the same as seeing them in person. So I'd go to see a few houses and then provide 4-5 key things that you want to a realtor.

well i understand melle does look at homes..from reading other threads..

but yes emma that's exactly what we did too, the last time we searched. we started looking, seeing what's out there etc.

I had a list at least as long and picky as yours, if not more. I didn't share it all with the realtor, but it was helpful when looking at houses. I like that you have reasons for the things that you want (like the patio not being too close for obnoxious odors) and the window orientation because of heat (although, wouldn't awnings, trees, or shades help with that?) Keep the reasons in mind with the family room + living room thing. Why do you need that extra space? There is often more than one way to solve a problem.

I think the important things on your list are size (1400+ square feet), 2 baths, size of lot, and location. You don't have to tell the realtor everything, but this is a good place to start, and you can evaluate the other items. Remember, you can change almost anything about a house but its location. I wish you good luck on your search. We found our house after a year, and it had nearly everything on my list, and some things that I didn't realize I can't live without now. More importantly, it is in the exact location we wanted to be. I still watch the new listings and haven't seen anything like this pop up on the market since we bought it nearly 3 years ago, so when you find the house, jump on it!

In our part of the world there are only three variables: price, school district quality, and commute time. You then pick which two of the three you can live with.

We had a list similar to yours and looked at every house we could find for a year and a half and finally found it by accident. . We installed a large awning for the sun, plantation shutters on all windows, gas fireplace, french door to separate the kitchen from the living area and the list goes on. We were fortunate that we are retired so we weren't tied to a specific location. If you are not in a hurry, you might actually find it. We did not give our list to an agent, we took a printed copy to every showing and checked off the haves and could be done parts.

You have so many parameters set out that you are going into analysis paralysis.

Start with these, because only you can define "biking distance", "decent" and "reasonable":

Within biking distance (or along work
commute route) of a decently-rated high school

AND/OR? (makes a difference whether a house has to satisfy both criteria or just any one)

Within reasonable commute to one or both
of our work locations or reasonably situated with respect to other
family homes (that means that we are within a reasonable distance from
other members of our family who live in the area)

1. Get a BIG paper city map and start by flagging the "decent" high schools and your work places and family member homes.

2. Ignore those parts of the city that can't possibly fulfill the location parameters.

3. Figure out a rough best area.

4. Go to Zillow (because it lets you do this) and set up a custom search perimeter that takes in all the fixed points with some cushion around the edges.

5. Enter your MAXIMUM budget and MINIMUM square footage, bath/bdr and lot footage.

What do you get?

If you don't get any listings, either expand the perimeter or change the criteria.

Good advice above. I'd also advise that when you look at your list, think about what can be added / changed in the future, and what can't. For example, you can't change the lot size or location, but can change many/most other things. (Adding plantings or a trellis can change how the sun hits windows or patio; with a big enough lot you can add a bigger garage, or plant things to alleviate noise, view, smoke from neighbors; you can change windows; etc.)

We bought in a great area but in a house that we felt like we might outgrow. The lot was big enough that after many years we did a large addition and built a bigger garage. If I had focused on house size, garage size and number of bedrooms/bathrooms, we wouldn't have picked our house (and I'm so glad we did because I love it and my neighborhood.)

Wow -- thanks for all the additional thoughts everyone :-) I'm going to try to reply to each:

gyr_falcon: I appreciate you sharing your solution to a relatively narrow side yard. We have a side yard about that size, but it's along the garage & faces east so it's where I keep my clothesline. I guess I was thinking only about trees for shade, but maybe something like this doesn't have to be a deal-breaker, just something that I'd want to address more immediately. Also, in our current home, we're on a corner and the west side is very exposed, so the summer sun was pretty awful. Now we have a nice tree but it took 8+ years of growing!

aprilneverends: you're right about neighbors. When we bought our current house, both homes on either side were owner-occupied. However, within a few years they both became rentals with relatively consistent 1-2 year tenant turnover. In addition to the garage-smoking, the current folks on one side have been especially unkind to my kids and they speak in profanities very loudly to their dogs, so closeness is a concern in the event that we live next to someone similar. My DH says maybe they'll move, but they've been the longest tenants thus far. We've considered the possibility of smaller places and adding on, it just sounds overwhelming.

You're comment about other agent listings that require passwords etc -- yes I've noticed that some agent sites have homes that aren't listed on Redfin. We aren't in a RUSH to move...my hope is in the next year or two now that we've decided we can afford to move...so I really want to just look and look at what comes and goes and really get a feel for what I like/don't like, and then find an agent and be ready to make a decision when we find something that seems workable. I do feel like the more I'm aware of what's out there and possible I'll be able to make a choice I'm comfortable with.

Weedy: great suggestion to try and group all the items on my lists...as they are they're long and not necessarily prioritized.

Sabbath7: good points about each home being somewhat different. Sometimes it feels like nothing but tiny ranches are available in certain neighborhoods...but I want to be ready in the event that something else pops up.

Nosoccermom: The size is based, partly, on me saying our current house (1215 sq ft) is too small. But a better layout of similar sq footage could potentially work better so I'm not opposed to it; I'll clarify that in my lists. Yes DH and I mainly look on Redfin and that's partly how I've developed the lists. He was getting frustrated, saying I didn't like anything. I'm also having a problem with "must haves". He doesn't have any "must haves", so to him I'm super picky. And I'm not sure what my "must haves" are because nothing we've seen has all of them, so then it feels like maybe my "must haves" are impossible.

New beginning: thanks for sharing your sun solutions. Our patio, thankfully facing east, has a cover that is 15-20' at the peak so the sun just pours in in the morning. It's so bad in summer, I finally made outdoor curtains that help. I guess I was thinking west would be even worse...but maybe it's that the cover is so high that it doesn't offer as much protection? And outdoor curtains can always be made again. I want to avoid being the person who has no vision, but I think I lack vision.

How does one acquire vision? If I get started now, then maybe it will help once I'm ready to take the plunge.

azmom & cpartist: yes we've figured out a budget and location...but within the locations (by zip code) there are certain neighborhoods that we prefer over others. I have a reasonable idea of what's available within our budget in those locations, but then not every home satisfies my lists and that kind of ties back to whether or not I'm being overly picky. I'd hate to overlook something potentially perfect because I didn't have "vision".

ellusionz: I just very recently learned about the loan options that allow for home improvements.

Lys: I'm getting ready to find a realtor. We met someone at an open house, but DH and I didn't really get a good vibe from her. I'm glad to know that some agents don't expect a home to be found immediately. Although I have seen listings for homes that would likely suit, they do not appear very often (and don't check all the boxes, which is another reason I started wondering if I was too picky).

emma1420: I hope that I can identify the key things that are most important. As much as I'm saying the high school is most important, maybe it's not. They allow within and between district transfers, and we already drive them to/from school because it's too far so what's a few more years??? But then property values are often tied to good schools. I recently looked at a map that colorized the schools based on their ranks; no surprise that the best schools were found closer to the more expensive neighborhoods.

handmethathammer: that is exactly where I want to be: ready to jump when the right place becomes available! I don't feel ready yet, not only do we have a few unfinished things around this house, we don't have an agent or prioritized list of items. DH says he'll be fine anywhere. As we wrap up the projects here, however, I want to also be very ready when opportunity knocks...I struggle with big decisions like this, especially if pressure is on, so I want to be very prepared and not start vacillating when it's time to move forward.

rwiegand: part of me wonders if that's the trade-off going on here.

jak4: My goal to move is in the next 1-2 years; thanks for the ideas of what you did to your home. I hadn't thought about french doors for closing off a kitchen but that's a great idea. Our current house has an open kitchen and it just isn't for me. I hate that everyone who comes to the house can see the state of the kitchen.

lazy_gardens: yes, we've done that, and listings are available. But I still always find some reason not to like a place -- for example the "T intersection" criteria, or it's on a busy street. Perhaps I need to narrow the locations further...like street by street rather than zip code. Thanks for the idea of printing out a map, I think that would help DH a lot. One zip code, in particular, is narrow but tall North to South. Well I only want to consider the Southern half and I don't think I've made that very clear to DH. And another, we'd only consider the Northern half.

This is so different from when we bought our current house. Currently we live in the neighborhood DH grew up in (we're two blocks from his childhood home). He wanted to look only here, and I was fine with that. But of what we saw, the two I did like didn't accept our offer, and our agent -- who was a relative -- kind of pushed us into not negotiating so we didn't.

Maybe that's the trouble. In our perusing of listings, I saw a house that seemed to have potential and I posted about the kitchen here and on the kitchen forum. Well, the house sold and it sold for $50,000 less than the asking price. Those buyers got a great deal...had I known that it could sell for $50,000 less then we could have easily afforded to fix most/all of the issues. So part of it is that we might be assuming that the houses that seem overpriced or have problems couldn't be obtained at a lower price.

I didn't see your comment chicagoans!

I think distance is the only thing that can alleviate smoke. It's the way our house sits on the lot with respect to the neighboring homes. I have a lemon and an orange tree, plus shrubs/vines along the bordering fence...it still comes through.

Maybe I should read the "building homes" forum...adding an addition sounds horrible to me; I've seen several home listings with garage conversions/patio enclosures that look really bad, or the floor level changes dramatically...I wouldn't want that.

You could be right about distance and smoke. Personally I'd want a giant fan to blow it all back at them >:( Additions can be horrible, or they can be great when done right with a good architect. My area has lots of in-fill building, both complete teardowns and lots of additions. In many cases you can't even tell there was an addition (my friend lives in an adorable Tudor, and they used bricks reclaimed from an old school house for the addition. It looks like it was meant to be... but I digress.) In any case, I envy your lemon and orange trees, and hope you find a great house!

As an appraiser, I have to find similar homes for appraisal purposes multiple times a day. I have to know how to use the MLS to create useful sorting criteria.

Let me narrow the process for you: Start by identifying the possible locations. These location limitations can be based on county, city, community, even high school district. Either eliminate everything outside the zone or draw a circle around these locations. This is your search zone or zones. To start, you will probably have multiple zones. As you go forward, some of these zones will be eliminated, expanded or contracted.

Determine the possible price ranges found within the identified potential area. If you can afford them, great. Move forward. If not, move on to other locations that do fit in the identified budget. Search by price. Do you like what you are seeing in this price range? Yes, start shopping. No, you need to change the location criteria or scope.

Once you get in the location zone and price zone matched, filter your search using two or three different metrics. These could be square footage, house style, lot size, age of home, number of bedrooms/baths/garage/other features. Once that search spits out some results, you are ready to start getting pickier. You can begin to find all of those features that appeal to you or you want to avoid.

The good news is you will only be looking at possible solutions from this point forward. I hope this helps.

Well at this point stop playing with your lists and go out and look at houses. Start by going to open houses to see what's available. Look at anything and everything in your price range and in your ideal location. You first need to see what's out there that you can afford and then you can work from there.

Meet the agents at the open houses and find one you relate to, and ask them to take you to see whatever is available.

What you're doing with your lists reminds me of people who claim they want to learn to draw with colored pencils. (I'm a colored pencil artist and instructor.)

They go out and buy the best pencil brands, both watercolor and regular colored pencils. They buy an expensive electric eraser, electric pencil sharpener, 10 different types of papers to work on, and every book ever written on how to draw with colored pencils. (Thankfully mine is usually included in that list.) Then they spend hours every day online going onto FB colored pencil forums trying to absorb even more about colored pencils.

However, the one thing they don't do is sharpen the pencils, take out one of those 10 different brands of paper, and start putting pencil to paper. They have analysis paralysis related to colored pencil drawing and usually after a year or so of asking every question possible, they disappear never to be seen again. Or they pop up on the watercolor (oil painting, printmaking, etc) forums, repeating the same process, only this time with watercolors (oils, printmaking, etc).

And from what you've been saying, it sounds like you might have the same problem only related to house hunting. What is it that is really holding you back from going out and looking at houses?

I agree with Cpartist. What is stopping you from looking? Your in a HOT market, sometimes we all have to compromise. Go look at properties in your price range and find out exactly what you can get, that will tell you everything that you need to know. Pictures on the Internet are very deceiving.

If you find a good agent, they will be able to give you comps of sold properties so you know how low a price you can offer.

We're building a new house in a neighborhood with housing prices that have a huge range. I know what every house has sold for in the past year, how old the house is, how many bedrooms, how large the property is, etc. The reason being even on a new build, we don't want price ourselves out of the neighborhood.

Realitor.com listed your area as being 4th hottest market in 2017

If you have a narrow west yard ... the answer is a trellis or arbor and a fast-growing vine or two.

Trees take too long.

If you're looking to move within the next 1-2 years, things may look different then.

It just seems to me that you will be the "expert" in your home search rather than your realtor although it may be good to establish contact with one who will alert you of an upcoming home that checks most of your boxes.

I finally found a realtor who didn't waste my time trying to show me places that were out. On the other hand, we were able to pounce when the right property hit the market.

Maybe a realtor that xould help give you vision would be helpful for you. A good way to test if that would be for you is have them show you a fixer upper and see if they have ideas you like for the negatives you see.

In a hot market, your price is going to be your most restrictive criteria. Renovating costs at least twice what new building goes, and new buildings costs at least 1.5 what buying existing does. Which means, up your price to buy what you want in the front end rather than thinking you'll change it in a renovation. If you buy near the top of your price range and still need to do things to it, they will never get done because you wont have the budget for it.

So, if you feel your current home is too small, but love almost everything else, have you looked at renovating it? If you feel that the 200K family room addition and kitchen refresh is out of your budget, that is not going to bode well for house shopping. You're likely to have even worse sticker shock there.

that's what I was trying to say I guess..Sophie said it better

I don't believe it's worth adding onto our current home -- the costs would take probably 50 years of equity growth to recoup given the price history of our neighborhood -- and I don't love the place or the neighbors or anything, hence wanting to move. I do appreciate the approximate costs (renovating vs. building new vs. buying existing) -- we've considered building as there are a few lots around that seem appealing, but I'm not even sure where to begin with that. We love the idea, but are not savvy as to what we'd be getting involved in as far as building one house on one lot vs. buying a to-be-built house in a development of new homes (most of which are either suuuper tiny lots or way farther out than we wish to move).

I've concluded that I'm being too picky. I've had time to process everything and I'm going to re-visit my lists in a few weeks. In the meantime, I considered selling, renting (while waiting for prices to go down a bit) and then looking to buy. However, DH isn't really loving that idea, partly because he claims maybe the prices will not go down and we'll spend more paying extra rent (rents pretty much exceed our mortgage significantly for anything comparable to where we are now). I don't think he thinks the hassle is worth it -- he much prefers stability, is very risk-averse, and doesn't care about the possible extra buying power of selling while prices are up and then buying when things cool off.

Are there any resources available for general public to look at overall neighborhood price history for the past 20 - 40 years?

Most home selling sites give you a chart. I see them when I look under each house I'm looking to buy. Dunno if they have a neighborhood area type one.

You don't add on, or move, because you ''get money back''. All renovations lose money. Home ownership itself technically ''loses'' money by the time you really count lost compound interest of all of the maintenance and improvement and mortgage and insurance and utilities. Especially if you move as much as the average homeowner does. On the whole, home ownership is a expense, where you do receive something of value, shelter. You never end up with recouping more monetary value than intangible value that you receive though.

Remodeling a home is about making it live better for you while you own it. You get non monetary value from a remodel. Just like you do from a bigger house, or a luxury car, a good steak, or a great pair of shoes.

Vague dissatisfaction is never a good motivation to buying a new house. It's much cheaper to take a yoga class. Or a cruise. Or volunteer at a shelter. Or get a divorce. Just do something else for a year.

I agree with Sophie that homes are for living. The corollary is however that some people (me included) get a lot of mental strength and relaxation from their surroundings, and they know when their surroundings no longer provide it (that unquantifiable dissatisfaction). If this is the case, I think the danger here is waiting too long to get out. That's why for me seeing as many houses as possible was the answer. Something might check all the boxes but not have the right feel, as vague and unhelpful as that sounds. I know the general advice is not to throw away your list and buy a house on emotion, but for me it works best if the emotion comes first and the list comes second.

Sophie, are you under the impression that I'm just vaguely dissatisfied about our current house, thus prompting me to want to move?

That's not the case. We've lived here 16 years, it is too small, the yard is too small and on a corner so most of the yard is in the front, our family has doubled in size since we first bought it, I dislike the immediate neighborhood (crime rates are going up and we are between two rental homes and across the street from another -- annual tenant turnover in general). I dislike the overall layout of our home from the moment you walk in. I believe we have made the best of it, and we've updated the 70s kitchen & baths that were at the end of life (no quality cabinets or anything were replaced on a whim). I have made the best of it, and now we can afford to move and find a better fit.

But now I think I'm so afraid buying another house that's either too small or in another not-so-great neighborhood, or layout that I don't like etc. .. that I've become overly picky.

Are you suggesting that I should find something else to occupy my mind/time rather than try to move to something more suitable? Or are you suggesting that a distraction would help me sort through what the deal-breakers are?

Maybe i just need to also make a list of everything I dislike about this house, maybe that will help determine deal-breakers.

Edit: Warren Buffets house is probably in a really nice neighborhood, and it's clearly larger than ours. I only made that comment about prices because IF we did that then we could afford the things on my list without trade off.

I've learned a lot from 16 years here, but I still don't like the immediate neighborhood, small yard, layout, or corner lot location. Given those issues, we probably shouldn't have bought the house to begin with.

Thanks Lys, I didn't see your comment earlier. I do want to enjoy my surroundings. I enjoy the people I live with, and I'd like to live somewhere else with them now that we can afford to find a home that would be a better fit for all of us.

Listing the loves for the current house is more important than listing the hates. Loves are harder to find. Every home will have something you hate. Even ones that are 100% custom designed especially for you. Make the lists. Then put that list away for 6 months.

Take up a couple of new hobbies. One for physical exertion, one for mental. For the mental, go visit every open house that you can in the meantime. Keep track of the pricing. But don't seriously think about them as potential homes.

At the end of 6-12 months, take out that list again. See what is still going to be on those lists now that you've actually seen what is for sale at the general market prices. My bet is that decluttering and renovating ends up making a lot more sense to you at the end of that process.

But, if you do decide it's time to move rather than declutter and renovate, you'll be a lot less vague about the actual specifics that you are looking for in a home. Because your first lists are mostly about emotions. The feelings that some home features seem to give you. That is in no way quantifiable in the home selling process. You have to nail down that ''gracious'' means at least 9' ceilings and a 14'x20' space with no main traffic routes through it. That is quantifiable.

I'll try your suggestions, but I doubt that further renovation will occur.

The only things I like about our house is that it is affordable, has 3 bedrooms and 2 bathrooms, had double-paned windows (installed a year after we bought the house) that we remodeled the kitchen and baths because everything was breaking, and the citrus we planted when we bought this house are now mature.

The other renovations coming up: carpet ripped out, driveway re-do, roof, HVAC (we were told it was getting old, still runs fine). I can't imagine any of those making me like the house more. It will probably make me like it less since I see homes that appear more run down than ours sell for $100k more than we paid.

Affordable is a big love. Brand new is much less likely to have that. Funding college funds, and retirement doesn't get any easier. Affordable, and allowing that to happen is a very good thing! Paying all of your bills, and planning for the future gives a piece of mind that let's you be happy with a camp stove in a yurt. Just look at the Tiny House movement to see that it isn't size that determines if you love a house. A crowded small house with happy people in it will always be better than a larger house with unhappy people in it.

That laundry list of maintenance items is going to have to be addressed before you put the home up for sale anyway. Start with the most pressing, and work your way down the list while you ponder moving. Your home will be ready to put on the market with less crash effort when you're actually ready to list.

And you might consider an immediate expense of an appraisal, to know where you stand in the market for value.

I don't want to pay for an appraisal, I don't see the point at this stage. I watch the pricing/sales in our neighborhood and look at the homes.

That is how I know that adding on isn't worth it, and especially not since I hate the neighborhood and the yard is too small.

I'm a lot like Lys. Or maybe like many people. I do have criteria of course..for example I REALLY liked one house, I fell hard for it, I stayed there for an hour I guess, running around like a very joyful agitated hamster lol..but it was 2 bedrooms plus a den while my family needed 4 bedrooms..:)

So, I do have criteria, location, architecture, layout, how it will function for my family, whether there is some even remote feeling of privacy..and then there is this intangible feeling. You can quantify the rest of the criteria so other people will understand it. You can't quantify this intangible feeling. Yet it's this feeling you're after. It makes you compromise with many things you'd found uncompromising otherwise. Not the essential things that make you move in the first place-but many others.

Sometimes you need to spend time, a lot of time searching for that feeling.

Yet it is a bit in the stars-my second home, the duplex condo-it was the first place I saw upon selling our very first apartment, and starting to look for a new home. I saw it and I knew. It was perfect. I did spend several days in looking at more places-just for the good measure. By the end of that week I was back, and brought my then-husband to look at it. He spent there 5 min, said "yes" and we bought the condo.

We lived there less than a year-his company sent us to work in the US. we rented it. the renters didn't take a good care of it. to put it mildly. in the end, we decided to sell it-we needed the money, the appreciation was huge, neither of us wanted to handle the renting anymore, and I wanted it to be somebody's who loves it

so yes, it was perfect, and it was the right financial move(which was something pretty unpredictable-again, just luck)-but it didn't mean that I got to enjoy it. I tasted the enjoyment of living in a perfect home-and then it was thousand miles from me, and there wasn't much I could do about it.

You're not very picky, melle. You just want to love your place. And you want to spell to yourself what do you need for it. But a big part of this is intangible. And unpredictable. And you can find all your boxes checked, but not to like the place enough-or you can't but you love the place. Or as in the experience I tried to share-you can fall for the house that is perfect for you, and just get lucky, and then you stay put -or you don't, because life happens.

Continue to look, since our home should bring us joy (and you're very lucky to be able to choose. we all are. i'm deadly serious right now). be prepared with your finances-just in case, and treat it a bit as something that will happen as it pleases. once upon a time(c)

Melle...I understand wanting to move because of location. I lived in my first house or more than 10 years and I watched the neighborhood go from being a middle of the road neighborhood to being dominated by rentals (with high turnover). Even with a budget that was double that of what my old home sold for, I still had to make compromises. And I didn't love the house that I bought. I liked it a lot, and by the time I saw my current house I knew it was a good fit for me.

So I guess I echo the thoughts of creating a quantifiable list. And I would also encourage you to let go of the idea of finding the "perfect" house (if that is what you are looking for) because it doesn't exist, and just puts a ton of pressure on you to find something that may not exist at your price point.

Location is everything. It should be on top of your list, along with lot and house size, based on your comments. I get the "feeling" if this is the house or not. We moved so many times, and sometimes I would reject a house the minute I walked into it because of how it felt, how it was angled on the street, etc.... We ended up buying a lot of houses I loved while we lived there, but were difficult to sell for a variety of reasons, mostly because of location.

Last time I bought a house, the one I am in, I put location and a few amenities as priorities. I wanted to be in walking distance to the high school (I have kids), I wanted 4 BRs for the kids, at least 2 baths, and dh wanted an attached garage (which made it harder to find a house close to the high school). When we walked through this house, everyone hated it. It is a cookie cutter house that is ugly. There was nothing gracious about it, but it met the criteria, and we bought it. I have never felt less excited about a home purchase, but nearly three years later, we love this house so much, and most of that love is because of location!

Thanks for all the comments, it's helping me process my thoughts on moving.

I realize "gracious" isn't really quantifiable, but more an "I know it when I see/feel it" quality. For the agent, they need quantifiable deal-breakers I guess. I DO want a home that FEELS nice, that I ENJOY being in. I am introverted; I love being home. My hobbies tend to be home-centric: gardening, sewing, hanging out with dogs, reading...I guess that's all I have time for between working and raising a family!

This home is similar to ours, though I prefer the layout in the example over the layout of our place, and I think the skylights they installed in the living room were a really smart choice! I don't consider it gracious, but they did a good job w/limiting the furniture so it doesn't appear claustrophobic.

Alternatively, This home seems to have a gracious feeling. It's dated, but not in a way that seems tacky. Maybe it's just a trick of the photos, or that I know what it's like living in the first example, but this seems really comfortable. The bathrooms both have such nice layouts, the kitchen can be closed off, the orientation works well for me. We're going to see this one because it checks a lot of boxes and is well within budget.

Few homes like the one we're going to see pop up; typically they've been "updated" in ways I dislike, but are new enough that it would be wasteful to change. Or they are in neighborhoods where the updates command a price out of our budget. I like the original entry floor, the front doors, the kitchen cabinet color/style, the fireplace, the layout etc of the home we're going to see.

Down the street from the one I like is this example, which I greatly dislike; I'd rather stay where we are then move to that. To me it seems gaudy, not gracious, and at the asking price we would have to live in it as-is.

..here's the gallery of main architectural styles for you

http://www.diynetwork.com/how-to/rooms-and-spaces/exterior/26-popular-architectural-home-styles-pictures

my guess is that you like ranch..its spells home for you, for some reason

but maybe look through them all, and make a mental note of the ones you don't even want to check out, and the ones you definitely find appealing, and the ones that you're maybe willing to explore. right vocabulary helps..i sorely miss one for example. but that is something that will turn your inner perception of "gracious" into something you ll be able to explain to other people, very fast

(I think absolutely any style can be gracious..depends on the architect, really. or whoever was building that home.

i have affinity for some though, and less for others, even though many homes kinda grew on me. so i get you in that aspect. i do care when it comes to facade, let alone layout, things making sense inside-or not, etc. )

That is a fun gallery, thanks! I like Craftsman, cottage, some contemporary, MCM (LOVE), asian influence and some ranch. I don't even know what style our house is, it looks like the orange one I linked above -- 1970s contemporary ranch box?

Well I'm just learning myself you see..yours looks like a ranch to me, yes

mine is also a ranch-Spanish ranch

ranches usually have living areas on one side of the house, bedrooms on the other..as far as I understood

I love Spanish, Mediterranean, Craftsman, cottage, mcm, French influenced, Pueblo Revival, and interestingly-I warmed up to Victorians. Dutch Colonial appeals to me more than other Colonials. They don't list there "storybook" but I'd like that one too:) Reminds one of fairy tales. Maybe it's a type of a cottage?

In short I like much more styles than I did even just several years ago. I like older neighborhoods with different houses..they're such a fun to look at.

aprilneverends..loved the architectural gallery..I have a wide range of likes too..could live in most of them..

Update:

After attending the open house, I'm not sure I've got anything figured out. Sophie is probably right that I just need to look at every open house for a while.

The house met many things on my list, and the lot size/siting are great, but the entry, hallway, and master bath have 7' ceilings. I wasn't expecting that!!! So now I need to add 8' ceilings to my list I guess. I knew it was pretty original to the 60s, and listening to other people who were looking they just kept saying how old it all was.

My California home had a west-facing picture window: It had an exterior grid on it (built so that the 1" by maybe 1/4" pieces were vertical to, not parallel with, the glass -- that is, the 1" dimension projected out, the 1/4" was next to the glass). I don't remember now how big each square of the grid was, but the effect was that the window was very effectively shaded yet the view was fairly unobstructed. So if you see a house with large west windows, keep that in mind.

And an arbor with vines growing over it is a good solution for both privacy and shade, for a window or a patio.