I would paint the family room built-ins white. Not only will it open up the space even more, but they wont steal the shine of what will be beautiful floors. For a hint of spice, paint or stencil the back of the shelves a different color. You might also consider replacing or painting your fireplace cover and adding a TV, art, clock, or some other decoration above the mantle.

For the kitchen, assuming repainting the cabinets is out of the question, add some brushed nickel hardwood to pick up on the greys of the granite.

if it were me i would go with a color. the last thing you want to be doing is fighting with white. if you go with bright light colors go with things like shine red or black. if you go with toned down colors off white or gray, go with americana colors creamy yellow, oriental green or red, flat grayish blue or black.

I would not go grey, you have a home filled with warm tones. Would be nice to style that mantel and shelves-there's a million posts here on how to do that nicely. Paint the bright brass fireplace screen black.

In my home, the interior doors, kitchen cabinets, three bath vanities, and fireplace mantels are wood. All the trim, laundry room cabinets and one bath vanity are white. I did paint my family room bookcase white because it was dark stained and sucked the light out of the room. I really like the white / wood look. It gives the brightness of white with the warmth of wood and flexibility in decor.

Many here have commented that their darker hardwood floors show dust and scratches more. My main level is natural oak and my upper level is a tad darker gunstock tone. I agree the dust shows up much more on the darker floor. If you are refinishing because you felt the floors were too "orange", use a water based final finish coat. Oil base finishes amber over time and that could be what was bothering you. The newer designs I am seeing have light to mid-tone floors.

You do want the house to have a cohesive feel - don't do a cool living room with a warm kitchen. Gray, while still popular, is feeling overused. Cool grays do not work well with warm wood tones unless they are actually blues and greens with gray undertones.

My house is very modest and ordinary in a French Country / cottage style, but there are a few pics in my "my pics" idea book to see the white / wood combination.