I doubt that the stain is going to lighten.

If after some time the dark stain bothers you, consider a nice dove gray paint color. It would be pretty with your granite, and easier to keep looking pretty than white. Consider investing in really great paint like Benjamin Moore Alkyl. And do the prep work well w/ good sanding and priming. I think gray would look sharp.

the stain won't lighten, you need more overhead lighting, and the reason it's so dark is that bank of cabinets coming down from the ceiling. It acts like a wall. Short of taking those down, painting everything white and opening the blinds, all you can do here is add more ceiling lighting. you can only work with what you have!

Are you able to take down the scallop "valance" above the sink w/o doing any damage? If so, you might want to consider removing it as it tends to date your kitchen. Also, do you already have your back splash? You mention that you have picked it out but wondering if you bought it?

http://www.homedepot.com/p/Lithonia-Lighting-Brushed-Nickel-Linear-Saturn-LED-Flushmount-FMFL-30840-SATL-BN/205923206

I suggest this lighting fixture with a dimmer. Cost effective, easy to install, will provide you with MUCH more light. I agree with painting the cabinets a soft white or a very pale soft gray. Lighter cabinets will allow your granite to take center stage. Don't worry about "the kids"...with good prep and good paint the finish will last until they outgrow the handprint stage. A quick swipe with a damp cloth in the evening will keep things under control so no real scrubbing will be needed.

If you want some other choices to choose from for the back splash, post more day photos of the kitchen. We would also need to know the color of the flooring. It looks kind of like a tanish color? And do you see any taupe, tan or cream in your counter top or is it more white, black and gray as it reads on our monitor?

How about installing recessed lighting & under counter lighting if you don't have it?

wood only darkens over time. Even my lightly whitewashed oak cabinet darkened over time.

I really don't think white cabinets are all that hard to keep up. Even if kids leave dirty prints on dark wood, that unsanitary gunk needs to be washed off.

I like the idea of grey with your countertops.

I don't know if the photos were taken when the stain was still wet, but if they were dry, the application was not very good. If you look at the photo, you can see streaks (some parts are lighter and some are darker, depending how the wiping was done).
If you want to keep them stained, but lighter, your only option is to sand and redo. Otherwise, white paint would probably work best

Those arent gonna get lighter. Maybe very very slightly but hardly noticeable. Once the stain has sunk in, thats it. You could start over??? Sux but still and option. I agree with one of the comments. The cabinets hanging over the snack bar block everything. If you can get buy without that extra storage space Id get rid of it.

This can turn out real nice. I like the counter tops. You need to pick a good floor and back splash. Maybe new appliances also. Declutter everything so it looks like no one lives there, then it would look like one of these remodels on houzz lol.

you can mix grey with brown wood pieces

Choose one grey for cabinets and another on the same colorway strip for walls.

You could use a grey for the walls with an undertone.

And before any decisions are made:

answer about flooring and post picture - closeup

show more of the room so we can get a sense

test colors and then test them again

do not buy backsplash until you have made more color decisions

remember color looks very different in different circumstances and with different light

Do you really need the cabinets floating above the peninsula? Opening the space would do wonders.

Looks like linoleum, a brighter more reflective floor tile would help. White can be difficult, the grout joints become an issue keeping clean.

So if the flooring is going (for sure?) then we don't need to take your current flooring into account when giving you advise? If that is the case, maybe we should help you pick out the paint for the cabinets, the backsplash and the flooring so it all is cohesive?

Going with a light gray cabinet and brushed nickel knobs would really make the kitchen feel open and fresh .

Tedbixby, Shes staining the cabinets for a reason. Painting them turns them into complete trash. Its been years and I still cant believe people actually do that.

Tony- Don't quite understand where you are coming from. We've been discussing what color to paint them and since I've had cabinets painted I don't know what you are talking about when you mention "complete trash" as I was very happy with mine. And if you follow along here on houzz, then you know that painting cabinets are very common as they can turn out quite lovely. Yes, the cabinets can turn into trash if not done properly. And actually in another house I had the cabinets professionally stained by a company that is all they do (did a ton of research and called references) and was much happier with the outcome of my painted cabinets. And both kitchens had high-end cabinets so it wasn't the quality of the cabinet that made the difference. So perhaps you could share specifics as to why Amber should stain her cabinets (gray or whatever color) over painting them so that your contribution will be something we can learn from..

And here is good article regarding painting vs staining cabinets.

[https://www.houzz.com/magazine/pros-and-cons-painted-vs-stained-cabinets-stsetivw-vs~75071943[(https://www.houzz.com/magazine/pros-and-cons-painted-vs-stained-cabinets-stsetivw-vs~75071943)

Amber- thank goodness that flooring is going. I was getting a headache trying to figure how to make it work with what you want to achieve. Now the other question is, is there anything else in this area (dining area) that connects to the kitchen that we have to take into account when selecting a cabinet color? If so, post photos so we know what we are working with.

That very article speaks for itself. The stained cabinets look a hell of a lot better. And will in the long run. Paint won't stand the test of time unless you only use your kitchen for microwave dinners. I have personally seen way to many people throwing away their painted cabinets later on. So you cant convince me otherwise.

The cabinets look great! What would really help is better lighting - definitely more than one central overhead light. And if you can, get rid of the wallpaper(?) - it's too similar to the flooring.

Tony Montana - I'm with you on this. The mantra du jour on Houzz seems to be 'paint it white'. That's fine for folks who really like that look, but it isn't always, automatically the best choice. Personally, I'd take wood over paint any day. People should create spaces they love, not be limited by constantly shifting trends. I've tossed the word 'dated' from my design vocabulary and am much happier for it ;-)

I agree with you kinetaf as I am one who often says on this site do what you love as you will have it longer than beating yourself up trying to keep up with what is on trend or "in." White kitchens aren't "classic" as something in it will always date it- whether the style of the cabinet, the counter top, etc. What is classic is the color white. In this case Amber stained the cabinets and the issue is that the stain is too dark (if she loved it I doubt she would have posted?) and the stain really isn't working with her counter tops. Perhaps you can offer another solution for her cabinets?

Amber- didn't you mention earlier a concern regarding a dining table and trim that is wood? Or will that be replaced, too?

Do you know the name of your counter top?