My first thought was first bump but I'm not being too serious. Interesting about the clutch. I wouldn't think that would stop people from putting their hand out. If they took a second and did think about it wouldn't they assume she could hold the clutch with one hand?

I'm sorry about your arthritis. I hope other here can offer helpful suggestions.

Keeping your hands folded, a head nod, and a big beaming smile work very well together. Just don't see any extended hands.

I think it's hard to ignore an extended hand when exchanging the sign of peace at church. In some situations, you could be quick and reach out to give someone's upper arm a friendly, light squeeze in lieu of a handshake. In church, and anywhere else, really, I think you may have to be honest and tell people you can't shake hands due to painful arthritis. Just think of all the germs you'll avoid! ;)

WHO was recommending the forearm bump instead of handshaking as a way of avoiding spreading germs. But when I greet my friends who have colds or whatever and don't want to hug, I give them a namaste, from yoga, which means the spirit in me honors the spirit in you. It's done with a slight bow and hands in prayer position.

Do you attend with someone else? Maybe that person could help divert the handshaking to him or herself? Would it help if you held a hymnal or bible? I know I'm always looking the next hymn up and marking my place so I'm ready when it's time to sing. Do you sit in the same pew all the time and does everyone else mostly do that? You might mention to "regulars" that you have arthritis so it hurts to shake hands.

Since OP has a medical condition, I see no reason why she can't do what writers block mentioned.

I would wave my hands and mouth sorry while then touching both so they would understand you can't shake.

It's easier with friends. If I have a cold, I just announce, "Sorry no hug, I have a bad cold."

In church, you can try to sit in a less populated area if that's possible. If not, again just mouth you are sorry and gesture.

Good ideas. I think I will try a combination of defensive moves. Crl, I will sit further away and let my husband be "fast forward" while I, cum Writersblock, fold arms and smile. Bluebell, you are right, it is hard to ignore an outstretched hand without seeming unfriendly. I do like the idea of trying a different gesture if I can manage it. And as Eld and crl say, I could communicate my problem. Annie, I think namaste is nice with good friends. Our PM's wife does it in public gatherings but I don't think I will do it in my church.

Sheeisback, good point about the clutch, but I guess she finds it helpful;) As for the arm bump, I have never seen it done. Is it popular in other communities?

My spouse wears a wrist/hand brace to avoid handshakes (and it also helps with the tendonitis that makes the handshakes painful). It's not especially attractive church wear though, but nobody wants to grab it. Perhaps hold a pen in your right hand (think Bob Dole) or wag a pair of reading glasses or raise a beer?

Fori, you made my day;). After the last very tight grip, it had crossed my mind to put on some sort of a brace! Nine times out of ten, people are gentle, but it only takes one cause a lot of pain.

In my church choir, we exchange peace signs (two fingers up in a V, that is) for the sign of peace. I think it started one winter when everyone was getting sick. It stuck, I think, because we need to start singing almost immediately, and the hand sign is faster than shaking hands. Depending on how geeky the person is, you might get an occasional Vulcan peace sign.

I was once somewhere in a work setting with a wretched cold and didn't want to infect anyone. I ended up elbow bumping a number of people after I explained I had a cold.

I am feeling much better prepared now - thanks all!

Another gesture (which will take them by surprise though) is to reach to their extended hand with the opposite hand -- so if they extend right, you reciprocate with the left, and just quickly and briefly grasp their hand (your palm against the back of their hand) or even wrist.... that way they don't have the opportunity to squeeze, but contact is still made. Practice this with your husband as it doesn't come naturally at first.

Raee, I will try that!

I think you should wear a simple finger splint to avoid people like me lol. I have a firm handshake. I'm still a bit haunted by my possibly too hard of a hand shake on an elderly women with a tiny little sparrow hand. The hand was the size of a Teary Dreary doll. I try hard to gauge now. It's tricky because I wouldn't want to do the dead fish shake on a vigorous individual. Or, I wouldn't want to resort to that weird top of curled fingers shake some barbies do.

Maybe just say...I can't shake due to injury. It's to the point and I would appreciate that.

I've seen a a lot of moves like Raee's at the peace greeting. Or both your hands dart out fast to clasp their outstretched hand. Of course everybody would understand if you said something but you don't really get the chance in that situation to tell everyone. That's what's nice about the wrist brace--it says it for you. But again, not the best look!

I was going to suggest holding a handkerchief in your right hand and dabbing your nose when someone comes up to you.

Find an end aisle seat, that eliminates some of the hand shakers, then, when the time comes to shake hands, don't stand up. That's what I do. I share the same hand pain.

There are a few YouTube vids that say you should do the pointy finger handshake to prevent a crushed hand.

https://youtu.be/4e9EnEB75ks

https://youtu.be/DDtKM0gO9as

Yaya, thanks for sharing your tried and true method. Justerrilyn, I am sorry you feel haunted, but I wish more people would be so thoughtful as you are. I love the videos - shows there is a need out there! Fori, at this point I am not so concerned about the look, but neetsie's idea might be easier. I always have a tissue with me, and I might forget a brace. I could wave the tissue like a white flag;). Everyone is so helpful!

Bluebell66

I think it's hard to ignore an extended hand when exchanging the sign of peace at church.

******

I so agree, but would encourage people who can't or don't want to, to find an alternative that they're comfortable with.

I love what the sign of peace means, but hate it in action. After watching people cough, sneeze and wipe their nose and mouth all during mass, it grosses me out.

I avail myself of Purell after that and before receiving communion ;-)

I would offer that you could hold your hands over your heart and offer greetings, or "peace" and perhaps add a slight bow at the waist or of the head.

People will understand.

I love those videos!