Since the countertop is warm you need to make sure that the other whites in the kitchen are also warm(not cool). If you don’t do this, the kitchen design will look off/unattractive. I like the herringbone tile. This post does a good job of looking at the warm vs cold: http://ths.gardenweb.com/discussions/3476163/white-kitchen-warm-vs-cold

I like option 4 the best because the patterning is the most even and there isn't much contrast between light and dark tiles. Since there's already a distinct pattern on your countertops, I'd opt for a backsplash that kinda recedes more. Can't speak to option 4's tonality based on snapshots, but agree with Via B about keeping them in the same tone so if it doesn't do that, forget it.

With the other options, I wonder if they'll feel too busy with the combination of tons of small tiles and grout lines, light/dark variations and patterning (namely option 2).

I think you should wait until everything is installed before picking the backsplash. The stone might read differently once it's installed and under your lighting. Once everything is in, bring home a few samples and then decide. Don't force yourself to decide now.

I'd prefer a warm gray, maybe something like Dawn describes above. What you want is to bring out the veining and beauty of your counters rather than compete with them, and all the busy stone backsplashes want to be the star. People do it, but I think the materials lose impact by being combined.

Lake Minnetonka Tailored White Kitchen · More Info