One of our cabinet installers decided to ignore our desire for flush installation of our wall ovens. Told us that he didn't understand the Wolf spec sheets for the flush install for the CSO, so he chose to go with the traditional install. Then pulled out his phone and showed us pictures of a flush install he did at another client's house. My partner and I looked at each other like seriously?! (BTW, he redid the install and our ovens are flush - and we love it! But we often shake our heads over him showing us that he was indeed capable, just resistant.)

Cheryl, I love it! lol

Lynn, no one loves honesty more than me. Truly. But when I'm shucking out upwards of 20 grand, I'd like to feel a little more confident in my designer! ;)

Well Cheryl...our appliance guy told me that the Wolf CSO can't be installed flush. Wth?

I really wouldn't trust this project with a big box store if these folks, albeit very kind and honest folks, are your options there. I love my KraftMaid, but I wouldn't have been nearly as happy if I went through Home Depot. We have used Home Depot for plenty of other home projects so I speak from some experience.

ILoveRed, Wolf has it in the spec sheet. Print it and share it with him.

Chispa, I can relate to your comment! I once had a sales person ask me if my husband "lets me make the decisions". Ha! I told him: Who else would make the decisions, if I didn't! I gave my business to someone else.

Chispa, I've heard that comment too many times to count. Not one person that uttered those words to me has received my business.

Yes, that's annoying, but there could be other reasons for that type of comment. Our KD told us that many times the husband is not at all involved in the design process and he has worked extensively with the wife to create a design and make cabinet and other selections. And that at the last minute, though he has been working with the wife for weeks or months without the involvement of the husband, after all the work has been done, the husband will swoop in and veto the entire plan. So it may not be sexism-- it could be that the person wants to make sure that the couple is on the same page before expending a lot of time and energy.

Well, even if my DH vetoed it, at this point the kitchen designer I am using has been paid for a design, so I am paying for his time and energy to give me plans, elevations and pricing. I paid for a design, but do not have a contract or obligation to purchase from that dealer/shop.

If your KD is willing to put in a lot of free time and energy, that is his/her choice, but he/she would have also lost some potential business by asking some women that question.

I think it would be hilarious, albeit humbling, to see a PRO version of this post. I bet they have heard some doozies. I know, I know, we aren't supposed to have all the answers, but still!

It's an indication that hardsell tactics are coming. No, thanks.

The architect we hired for some structural advise and to draw up our plans has very strong opinions. So do I, mine based on what I have learned in my 6 months on here. We have had some very heated discussions on the kitchen layout!. In one he was complaining about how few uppers we will have by the DW and said "where are you going to put your dishes". I said I was putting them in a drawer. His response? "No one does that!" . I popped right back that yes they do, some people don't have any uppers at all!

I went to one of the big box stores and met with the KD. While he was talking to me the phone rang and he talked to the person on the phone. While he was on the phone he was getting pretty upset with the person on the phone about their cabinets. After he was done talking he said to me "This job is going to drive me crazy. And that is a short drive". I ended up getting the cabinets someplace else. He still works there and says hi to me every time I see him.

My initial KD told me we didn't have room in our $35K budget for a pots and pans drawer or a lower cabinet for a garbage can...in our KITCHEN. He also told me I was wrong in wanting a vent instead of a microwave over the oven and told me I couldn't get a farmhouse sink even though our cabinet line had a base for it. Went somewhere else and she's been a dream. Funny enough, she's commented several times on our "healthy" budget. Follow your gut!

Thank you all for the many chuckles this morning! This is exactly what I had in mind with this thread. Please keep them coming. :)

And nobody's ever going to find my hubby coming with on design appts. Nor would he ever dream of vetoing my kitchen plans. He may express an opinion to me, but in the end, he understands I'm the one in here cooking every night. He's not gonna be too picky about sliding in to make a ham sammich. ;)

clueless, I agree, that would be hilarious, I'm SURE! (me included ;))

Clueless - we don't need to see what Pros would say - the doozies have been seen many times on this forum:

"My budget is $20,000, and here is what I am planning my kitchen to look like". Posts pictures of $100k+ kitchens with acres of marble, custom cabinetry, and all Miele built-in appliances.

"I just bought a fridge, but neglected to measure my space first. Whattyaknow, it doesn't fit. It's all the appliance store's fault!"

"I am using the guy who advertised on Craig's List, who I know nothing about, but he was at the right price. And now my kitchen has problems."

"Why do I need to pay a plumber to move the gas line."

"I've gone through 3 KDs, and 4 GCs in my renovation. They are all disagreeing with me. What do THEY know."

"My architect did my kitchen design, and he is a brilliant genius. I am sure this plan is perfection. Don't you all agree?"

^^ lol!

I went to a smaller cabinet company that carried several lines and when I asked the lady if she had inset cabinets, she asked me what inset meant (?) I never went back.

bump

" "When can your husband be available for our follow up appointment"."

In the remodeling business, this is known as a "one legger". You make your pitch, try to close the sale, and the person says "I've got to speak to my husband."

I insist all decision-makers be on site for any presentation I make, no excuses. It has nothing to do with sexism and everything to do with respect for time.

"I insist all decision-makers be on site for any presentation I make, no
excuses. It has nothing to do with sexism and everything to do with
respect for time."

Joseph, you really expect both husband and wife to be home? Someone has to work to pay for the kitchen! The kitchen will be six figures (high COLA) and my husband has barely been involved, other than discussing the scope of the project when we started. We've done many remodeling projects and he trusts my decisions and as a stay at home wife/mom one of my jobs is managing any projects, including research, decisions, quotes, payments, etc. He has no time for, or interest in, all the background work leading up to a project.

Not sure about respect for time ... whose time? My husband would not want to do business with the contractor that wouldn't give his wife a presentation/quote unless he was present.

Joe, do people usually sign a contract with you right after your pitch? I've never done that because I interview more than one professional for a job. Needing to "speak to my husband" could be their way of saying that they'd like to go over the bids...which is what should be stated outright but everyone is different. Some people like to sound more "demure" ;)

Like Chispa, I do all of the home management tasks. He and I discuss budget, style, etc and I handle the rest.

Like Joseph I want to talk with all decision makers prior to signing a retainer. We will sign the final contract (most times) with only one but I want to know that everyone is on board with the price and construction. In some cases we do need to see the "other" prior to final drawings for design approval.

Just about everyone I know can tell of projects when they were beginners and did not do that where the "other" crashed the project at the last minute.

Respect for time? I'm available 3 evenings a week and Saturday and have been known to make other accommodations when needed. For everyone it involves a lot of time and money to get a project done. Isn't it worth 2 hours of your time? If it's not then I'm not the one, no hard feelings.

At my former employer two of the designers were woman. They had the same rules-if it has anything to do with sexism it's we don't trust husbands ;)

Even when he doesn't cook or normally care at some point for some it becomes a symbol-(my house is my castle and they figure out that this is the throne room). Then I've had it work the other way- where most of the input is from the husband and the wife comes along with some other changes late. (and don't get me started when there's a secret committee- MIL, SIL, Grandma, Cousin Sally, neighbor who is a framer so KNOWS, the friend with taste,...)

As to weird things clients have said and none really come to mind. Guess it's because we realize that many have no idea what is involved. There must be some but can't think of any, guess the other thing is dealing with the public for so long it helps to just let those things go. Weirdest is often contractors say-my favorites-"hi-end experienced custom home builder" who didn't think he should adjust the doors; OR coupled with something they did- phone call from installer on huge hi end kitchen "one side of the cabinet was deeper than the other, I see on the drawing that it's what you wanted so it matched the other end-guess I shouldn't have cut it off ?"

It burns me when someone asks me if they can talk with my husband. Little do they know that my husband's approval is the lowest of the obstacles on the path. I fully understand the reason for wanting to talk with all the decisionmakers before investing significant time but if someone doesn't want to provide any info up front, I get suspicious.

The first conversation is an opportunity for both parties to decide if the project might be a good fit for them. If the only concern is whether I can bring a man and his checkbook with me, I'm not interested. A serious contractor will ask me enough questions to find out whether I am a good prospect before ever scheduling a meeting with me, with or without my husband.

To be fair, I should qualify that I am talking about projects that are a few weeks in duration and something I could pay for with current funds. Anytime a project involves weeks of intense disruption or costs a year or more of household income or a kid's college education, I would expect the other party to be concerned about meeting all parties involved. In fact, a lack of interest in the subject would surprise me as such projects are notoriously stressful on even the best of relationships.

One notable contractor asked me if I knew what the word "porous" meant. The blank look on my face had more to do with the proposal of a collection basin part way up the slope than my lack of understanding that water flows through porous block...it sure does, but not uphill.

" Who else will have input into the project? Your designer? MIL? Kids? Spouse? If they are equal decision makers, or have veto power over elements, then we need to arrange an initial meeting with everyone in attendance. We want to be sure that all channels of communication are clear. Future interactions can be handled by email.''

I've been derailed by all of those people. And you learn that if you aren't talking to The Decider, then you are wasting your time. It's just as offensive and disrespectful for a contractor to show up and not be talking to the whole decision making team as it is for someone to ask the little lady if her husband allows her to write the checks. If you, and that is the plural you, meaning whatever your sex or age or employment status might be, cannot engage for a project by writing a large check without consulting someone else, then those someone elses need to be part of that meeting. That's just business.

I asked the lady if she had inset cabinets, she asked me what inset meant (?)

Not the same topic, but the same idea:

Years ago one of my offspring was a student in a country that got really mad at us (we accidentally dropped a bomb on one of their embassies - oops). He was huddled in his dorm room while the ravening crowds were outside with rocks. I needed to talk to the State Department about an extraction. I called information and asked for the number. "What state?" the operator asks. "THE State Dept.," I say, "the one in D.C." "But which state?" she asks. I tried some more with directions on finding the D.C. phone directory, but no luck. She was totally perplexed. "I can't find it if you won't tell me which state it's in." I finally asked for a supervisor who managed to find a number. Yikes!!

[The State Dept. was super. They were willing to send a car and a team to retrieve him.]

When we hoping to move the kitchen to the back of the house, a recommended architect came over one evening while both my husband and I were home. Several things in the discussion turned us off, but our favorite was, "better be nice to me or I will send you bad subcontractors." This was not said in a joking way.

I can't tell you how many times I have spent hours and hours with a client (the wife) on redecorating a room or two in her house. I've gone to the showrooms, called showrooms and ordered samples, hauled all these samples to her house (and all these samples must be returned - no small thing!). Then I don't hear back from her when I give her quotes on all these things. I give a client a week or so and then I call. "My husband really didn't like any of the things we chose". So, we'd start again. Entire process...another wait, another phone call. "My husband really didn't care for it."

Of course, what had happened was SHE wanted to redecorate, had not discussed it with her husband at all, hoped he'd swoon over our selections and discovered that he had no intention of doing this and would just say he didn't like it, not that he was not going to pay for such.

I wasted so much time on one woman (as a favor to a mutual close friend who felt sorry for her), that I finally said I would not meet with her again without her husband present so I could get a better "feel" for his taste/likes/dislikes. Of course, I never heard from her again and no, she did not redo anything.

For a designer, time is money and many of us do not charge hourly fees - we mark up from net and that is how we get paid. If I were not pretty much retired, I would now charge an hourly fee as well, as there are way too many ladies out there with too much time on their hands who are just playing.

But there are an equal number of "ladies", as shown by many replies here, who do all the research and make decisions, without their husbands having to "approve" anything.

I'm sure the guys at the audio showroom don't ask my husband to bring in his wife when he shops for equipment that can costs as much as a car.

So yes, it looks like sexism to those of us "ladies" that manage all aspects of home remodeling projects.

Anglo, every designer I've met in the last 20 years charges an hourly fee and some also charge up on materials/products ordered. These were designers in 2 major metro areas.

Yes, in major metro areas, charging for both is standard, but not in mid-level cities. It's very hard to go against the "norm" in an area.

DH and I moved to a new city and rented a townhouse. There were phone jacks in both bedrooms, but only one got a dial tone (this was 1988, long before cell phones). I called the phone company to ask about connecting the jack. The young man on the other end assured me it was a simple fix - the line to that jack was probably not connected to the splitter, where the phone line came into the unit.

He said I had 3 choices. First, he could send out a repairman to hook it up, but it would cost around $50 for the service call. Second, I could hire an electrician, but that would also cost. Finally, he said "If your husband is handy, he can hook it up."

For the next few weeks, I thought of things I wish I had said to the little jerk (while I no longer remember what I really said, I let him have it). And as soon as I stopped fuming, I hooked up the phone jack.

And as soon as I stopped fuming, I hooked up the phone jack.

lol!

Our GC's wife handled some of the scheduling. The first appointment we made, she said something in her email about them losing money on their current project. It was a joking comment, but she was really appalled that she had slipped like that. We hired him anyway (great references) and then later he ended up doing our other bathroom and kitchen.

His policy was that before we signed he wanted to meet with both of us and know who the decision maker was. He was way too smart to ever make the sexist suggestion that I needed my husband's approval. He made it clear he would work with whoever it was, he just needed to know. It was me and he always ran all decisions through me. Worked great.