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mandy_redworth

Design Dilemma Advice

7 years ago

Hello People - just a reminder that this is a “design dilemma“ forum for people needing advice. I’m really tired of reading - esp from pros - how stupid a question is or answer for that matter, for telling people how stupid their ideas are, for telling people what they should have done or criticizng for not having enough money to do a full on remodel etc while offering ZERO help to the OP with their question Many people come here needing help with a very expensive problem that is personally very upsetting to them. Or they are DIYers needing help and not everyone needs a designer or pro. Some people have limited resources and that is okay.


This forum is not for pros only or people with money. This is not Facebook to post how much you hate weather or Trump.


Just stop with your insults - nobody wants to read your snarky responses and hurtful comments to innocent people just asking for help. Give your advice or apply the golden rule...if you dont have anything nice to say, dont say anything at all. You dont have to like or agree with other elements of their home/pic, that is not what they are asking. Please go punch a pillow or get a therapist instead of ripping apart a person needing help.

Comments (24)

  • 7 years ago

    Sabrina - yes, see your point - but posters can be nice about it. I’ve seen people actually call an OP an @ss for their question bc they obviously had money and their question seemed shallow to that pro.

  • PRO
    7 years ago

    @mandy, I don't disagree. I try to be respectful. Also keep in mind that pros like me generally get paid for their consultations. We choose to comment on these threads for free to be helpful. But we certainly don't have to, and I think Houzz would be less valuable if we all decided not to.

    mandy_redworth thanked Sabrina Alfin Interiors
  • 7 years ago

    Agree totally. Some pros give very valuable advice. I’m specifically meaning the people who hurl insults without any real advice and not just pros. I have seen a post or two of yours and think you are very helpful.

  • 7 years ago

    Mostly, Houzz has changed, and it is very hard to get the kind of advice we used to. Houzz has moved to a format that is pro-centric/lead-centric. Be careful, with expectations,

  • 7 years ago

    I agree with the unwelcome snarky comments from so-called pros. Not necessary or helpful at all. There is a way to flag comments and they will be removed permanently. (Sorry I forget how) I have been an interior designer for many (did I say many?) years and love to help here for several reasons. I sharpens my craft and I am never too old to learn new ideas and approaches to those darn dilemmas! Good post. I'm a believer of calling out unacceptable behavior. So easy to be nice.

  • 7 years ago

    I've never flagged a post. One "pro" posted a photo of lighter fluid for flippant entertainment [for whom?]. It didn't amuse the OP, or make her feel "ok" or that she could with help proceed with what she already had. It was so needless.

  • PRO
    7 years ago
    I share the frustration of seeing unkind inputs here. I try not to be snarky although sometimes the temptation is great. But if you see a comment that is inappropriate you can click on a little flag to the right of the comment. It will bring up a screen asking why you are flagging the comment. It will immediately delete that comment and they investigate. What annoys me is people that make sweeping generalizations about pros because it is also hurtful to those attempting to be kind and helpful, at no charge. So guess we all need just be kind. ;)
  • 7 years ago

    Flo,

    I have never seen a snarky comment from you. I always enjoy reading your comments and appreciate that you give your time and share your knowledge.


    I agree that we shouldn't paint all the "Pros" with one brush. There are many, like you, who are generous and kind.


    Thank you!




  • PRO
    7 years ago

    Thanks Jennifer and btw, I enjoy your inputs as well. In my mind, we all have interesting viewpoints, experiences and knowledge to lend to the posters and whether we have "pro" associated with our names or not.

  • 7 years ago
    You needn’t be a pro to post unkind comments! I have seen plenty from both pro and non pro in the time I have been here! I think it may be easier to be snarky on line ; one kind of forgets theirs a person behind there and lots more watching! It doesn’t cost anything to be nice but it often takes a bit of restraint. Perhaps we should all practice that before hitting the post key!
  • 6 years ago

    I just purchased the medium George Nelson saucer pendant lamp to hang over my dining table. How high should I hang it in order to safely burn candles underneath it? My ceiling is 63” from the top of the table. Thank you. Shirley Libby

  • 6 years ago

    @HU-987911327 - 1. you would have gotten more responses by starting a new Dilemma.


    To answer your question - I wouldn't burn candles under a GN saucer lamp.

    You should always have 1 meter (aprox 40") clearance above a candle - 12" on each side.


    Beyond the flames you have soot that rises from a candle. I am too fond of my GN saucer to risk having it discolored from candle soot.

  • PRO
    6 years ago

    @HU-987911327 can you send me a picture of the pendant and table ?
    Thank you

  • 6 years ago
    last modified: 6 years ago

    Pendant is not yet installed.


  • 6 years ago

    ❤️

  • 5 years ago

    ❤️ as well. Thank you!

  • 5 years ago

    Thank you for your chastisement of nasty comments, esp. by professionals! My experience has been positive, but I've cringed reading some of the unnecessary rudeness to others seeking advice. Brava!


  • 3 years ago
    last modified: 3 years ago

    Mandy_redworth

    Hi, for the most part the decorators have been generous with their time and very helpful. There is one that is not very nice, perhaps she is burnt out and should take a break! In the past I have gotten a lot of help from Flo Mangan and she is helpful and kind.

  • last year
    last modified: last year

    It’s still going on! i saw it today on 2 posters dilemmas. Some unnecessary comments! I think both have checked out of Houzz and I was enjoying their stories and journeys.

  • last year

    I always want to give advice that can help the poster make the changes needed within their budget…..or just use what they have and move things around to help with overall layout…I honestly want to help.

  • last year

    The comment I hate to see is You should have bought a different house! Gimme a break.

  • last year
    last modified: last year

    @mandy_redworth they should have a forum on here for only those that want to hear from non pros or other DIYers. Maybe there can be a way to only ask a pro or non pro?? I used to work for a designer and she would tell me I had more natural talent than her, she just had the degree. She’d always get my thoughts. Most of what she did was just making houses look like furniture stores. No real creativity like what one would see in ELLE or AD. That’s neither here nor there, but would be nice to hear only from non Pros if one was just wanting to decorate/rearrange. If doing gut jobs I’d stick to local pros. It’s my understanding, and an easy search confirms this, that the Pros on here are paying to have a PRO account and get business or rather hope to, by comments and then soliciting reviews. So some mentioning they “give“ of their free time, is because they either love helping recreate a space and or for exposure and reviews/business. Nothing wrong with that, but as others mentioned, some are very off putting. At least it’s helpful in knowing who not to use and not to listen to. Also, I saw someone comment that there are others on here that aren’t PROS that are off putting and down right mean. True for both. I read there has been a decrease in accounts due to this. Many on here think they have free reign to insult but they call it help.

  • last year
    last modified: last year

    This post is from 2019 people, the OP posted this 6 years ago.