It’s tough when she plays on your potential guilt if an accident would happen.

How is the child at risk? Is he riding his bike into the street? That’s a bad thing - and her responsibility to solve.

I'm assuming you don't have a sidewalk, but I am surprised they are letting their child ride his bike in the street, especially at that age. I assume they are out there with him.

A compromise might be to trim the the bushes back hard once winter comes. And in the meantime a "Caution, children playing" sign and the flag on the bike.

What kind of bushes are they? I wonder if the real problem is their difficulty seeing when they drive out of their driveway. You might want to check with the police or local officials to see if the bushes violate any ordinances.

As a driver, I have always hated when people have bushes/shrubs at the edge of a property that hampers sight lines. There are several properties in our community that have them. In one case, the community stepped in and asked the property owner to either trim them back or remove them as they lived on a corner and it was impossible for turning cars to see approaching cars. They offered to pay. They did cut them way back which made it so much better but recently I’ve noticed it is hard to see around them again.

That said, I can’t understand why a 3.5 y/o would be riding outside with supervision. Is she worried the child is going to ride off the driveway into the street in front of an oncoming car? Perhaps she can instead get one of those plastic things with a flag that can be placed in the street warning drivers of children at play. That seems to make a bit more sense than removing your well loved bushes.

i live on a quiet dead end as well, with only two other driveways. It was perfect when my kids were younger for riding bikes but 1) I didn’t allow them outside w/o supervision at that age and 2) I would not consider asking someone to remove something from their personal property just so my kids could ride their bikes. The child needs proper supervision and should be taught from the get go about bike safety, which includes not riding down the driveway into the street w/o stopping to check both ways. My neighbors’ kids always did this (rode into street w/o looking) and I knew to drive very slowly down that street but I worried about the drivers who were unaware. Thankfully nothing ever happened to them.

Ugh, that's a tough one. I think I would try and work with them as best you can. Perhaps there is a compromise in there somewhere like trimming them shorter and getting the flag on the bike. Surely, he is supervised when he is on his bike as well.

When it comes to neighbors, I am very conflict averse and would probably give more than I might in other circumstances.

What DLM said, that was my first thought. And why is the neighbor speeding on a dead-end street? (Oh, they are going toward the open end, I suppose.)

Would it be possible to remove or trim back the bush closest to the sidewalk/street, without leaving a gaping hole (as when you remove one yew, the next one looks horrid. That's how we ended up taking out 14 yews when we started out removing just one.)

Or, your neighbor could put a retractable fence across the foot of their driveway to keep their child from going into the street. We've seen homes with that, keeps balls and Little Tykes cars from rolling into danger, kids too.

I'm purposefully not reading the replies until I post. NO 3 1/2 year old should be anywhere near a street, period!! Unless mom is standing in the street at the end of the driveway keeping a look out.

The picture above is exactly what I was referring to in my original response.

And since the child isn't going to be 3 forever, removing the bushes seems to be a permanent solution to a temporary problem.The flag and the sign seem like good solutions, as would her training her child to never ride his bike INTO the street from the driveway, but walk it there, watching for cars before mounting it. Or parent stands in the street to guard against child shooting out into the street. So many solutions that SHE could choose instead of putting it on you. What if you trim the bushes and her child still shoots into the street in front of a car? Sight lines aren't the only problem here.

If it affects the aesthetics of the bushes to trim them back a bit toward the street and you like them the way they are (I'm assuming they afford some privacy into your yard), I would decline. I would also take pictures of them as they are, in case neighbors take the matter into their own hands and do something to them.

If you are inclined, perhaps offer to go with her to talk to the offending speeder to ask her to slow down?

You should create a topiary of a car out of the bushes. No, just kidding. I agree to take a critical look at the bushes and if they are overgrown, trim them back. I used to live on a street like you describe and I went to our local lumber yard and bought a single section of white fence and brackets to make a traffic calming device. We never asked the town if it was okay, we just put it out near the start of the (short) road. It looked great and helped make drivers slow down.

In my town, we have an uber-local FB group as well as the neighborhoods having them (kind of like Nextdoor). Every now and then, there's a post about a vehicle often seen speeding or running stop signs, with description and times of day it is seen, if they don't recognize the car or driver. A parent or spouse in the group recognizes the car and does something about it (slows down or grounds the kid).

A speeding driver is a danger to everyone, not just a child.

I would leave it to the neighbors to bring it up again, at which time I would emphasize that you have long loved the bushes and think they are beautiful, and, like olychick said, that this is a permanent and probably expensive solution to a temporary problem. Even if they plan to have more children, they're your bushes. Like most others have said here, children need to learn early about danger, and they must be supervised.

In case you are thinking about a compromise with the shrub, I'd like to speak up for the possibility of not cutting the shrubs down or shorter, but of limbing them up. That means cutting off lower branches to expose the lower trunks and give the shrub a more tree-like appearance. You can do this with some of the biggest, bushiest shrubs such as many viburnums, crepe myrtles, burning bushes, ans sumac. In many cases I think it make a much more artful shrub, plus (to me as a gardener this is a plus) it can open up ground below the shrub for another level of planting, though in this case if you plant the soil below, I guess you'd want to use something that grows low naturally so that the view into the neighbor's sidewalk/driveway/yard/whatever is preserved.

You can probably google pictures of limbed up shrubs of the type you have.

Is she a complainer? If it's not the shrubs, it's something else? I would not want to cut my shrubs, and I wouldn't ask a neighbor to cut theirs either. I would just keep better tabs on my child and get one of the signs posted above... and maybe put a note in the speeder's mailbox. LOL

A 3 1/2 year old should not be outside unsupervised. I dont see any danger to her child if she puts her physical presence in the driveway blocking the road, which is where I would have been standing when my kids were that age. (And I wouldnt have been texting or otherwise engaged with a phone)

First, her child is actually 2 1/2; I misspoke. They also have a younger boy, around 1. Our street has had no children living on it in about 15 years. They are not complainers, and my husband said he thought the husband was kind of smiling, so it may have been a case of, “Well, I’M going to ask them anyway.” They are very protective parents, and I can’t imagine a situation in which either child would not be supervised while outside. I did, at you’all’s urging, go apply a critical eye to the bushes. There are no dead spots, and they are healthy, well-shaped, and kind of a loose evergreen, which also gives us greenery during the winter. They do, however, extend nearly to the end of our yard. But, the neighbors both have very large vehicles, so I don’t think their view is impeded. And, DLM, I also wondered why they didn’t speak to the speeding neighbors (a mother and 30-something daughter who inherited the house after the woman’s parents passed.

If your bushes are properly trimmed, which I imagine they are, then I have a hard time understanding the request. You cannot child proof a street. You have to watch your children when they are in places that are unsafe until you don't need to watch them any more. And your neighbors have no responsibility for your children. (I don't want to sound unkind, but should something happen to your child, it will be your loss to bear, not someone else's. It takes a village and all that is sweet and nice, but the buck stops with you.)

I would bake some cookies, bring them over to the neighbor, and commiserate about how hard it is chasing little ones around before they have any sense. Offer to trim the bushes back a bit as a show of good will, and call it quits.

If the bushes impair visibility of a car or a toddler in motion, do they also impair sight lines when backing out of the driveway? If they block the view of cars coming or going between the street and driveway, they should be corrected. If they are further back from the street, are there any restrictions, easements or ordinances regarding how close bushes can be from the street? I would double check those issues. If everything seems ok on those, it's a tough call. I agree with a permanent solution to a temporary problem -- but if they turn their back and a kid runs out chasing a ball and gets hit, they may blame you as well as the driver.

I recently had to cut back trees that have been here well before we bought our house or our neighbor moved in behind us. They are not gardening folks (DH and I are), but they are very self-declared superior know it alls. Their own trees and two other neighbors' also shade their yard and the angle of the sun is wrong for the full sun plants they put behind their pool. They said they don't like their plants and wish they hadn't planted them -- but they also said it was our trees that created too much shade and made them look bad. We spent $200 to have our guy cut them back so we could control it and I cried. They didn't even say thank you or acknowledge that we had done anything.

Doesn't help that these same folks had a diseased tree that had already dropped a large branch in their own yard. They knew they needed to remove it but didn't. Then it split and half fell into our yard, taking out my plum tree (which stopped it from taking out our fence) as well as some tomatoes and narrowly avoiding the roof on the back of our house and garage. They insisted their guy do the cleanup -- then their guy tried to charge us and left with some of the cleanup undone.

Neighbor issues tend to just keep getting more so -- whether it is their hard feelings or yours. I hope you can find a way to avoid hard feelings and problems. Good neighbors make good neighbors.

I’m pretty sure our city has zoning regulations about the height of landscaping near roads and streets. Is there a chance your town does and the neighbor getting the city involved if you don’t trim your bushes?

We are great at giving solutions for your neighbor. For you? I'd look at my bushes and see if maybe they need a trim, up or in. Otherwise, I'd let it go (well, I might suggest the retractable net, just in passing). You have a good relationship with them, they have a good relationship with you, I imagine you both want to keep it that way.

If it truly is an issue of sightlines, then I'd consider having the bushes trimmed. But if it's more that it's a very protective parent, then I'd go ahead and buy that caution sign (or two) and a flag for the childs bicylce and gift them to the parents.

We had an issue at our old house...pine trees at the end of the drive made backing out very dangerous, so we kept the trees but limbed them up until we could see.

I'd trim the bushes if needed or if you wouldn't mind shortening them away from the street side...and they will grow back.

Otherwise, for those early years, I've seen parents park their vehicles sideways across the end of their driveways as a temporary barrier to keep their kids from going out in street when playing.

I agree a temporary problem doesn't need a permanent solution.

If you don't trim them, they might. With disastrous results.

I had a row of arbivitea in my yard and a fence which was on MY side of the property. It looked like the evergreens were his. They were about 10 feet tall and made a nice barrier between the properties. I moved the fence, he was not happy and asked me to move it back and I told him no. Well, guess what, HE took it upon himself to trim the heck out of them so that basically I only had HALF a row of bushes (the bush on my side and trimmed back to trunk on his side). Evergreens do not grow back. We ended up having to take them out which left us with nothing between our neighbors. And THAT was at our expense. He trimmed them when I was at work and the deed was done when I got home. So beware. She's warned you and if they are on the PROPERTY line, she may take action herself. As been stated in other threads, if it's on the other person's property they can trim. (Ours wasn't but he did it anyway).

I haven’t read the reviews yet but if that happen to my DH & I, I’d be really put off by it. If she’s so worried about a neighbor who drives too fast, she needs to go talk to that neighbor and insist they slow down, restrict her child from riding his bike in that particular spot of the cul de sac or both.

I get that you don’t want to look unreasonable, but it’s not right that she insist you alter YOUR property for her child especially when there are other alternatives. If she wants to think that you don’t care about children, that’s HER problem not yours so don’t allow her to put the guilt trip on you.

It would never occur to me to ask such a thing of my neighbors. My kid, my responsibility, Period.

To me it sounds like the neighbor is doing what she can be doing to protect her child by asking for clear view of her driveway for oncoming traffic.

Of course a child that age should be supervised, no question about that....but, if you ever had a 3 year old on a Big Wheel you may know that they can be all speed and no control. Accidents happen sadly.

I’m not a believer in shaming the parents of any child that is injured by accident. Maybe because my well cared for child once (or twice) ran into the street. Luckily all he got was a tongue lashing by me.

I’m posting quick and didn’t read much down the page. Safety flags, safety cones, supervise, not allow child to ride there are all options. As well as talk to fast driving neighbor and trim trees if they’re on her property line. It’s her responsibility for her child.

Can the neighbors see around your bushes to safely back out of their driveway? Probably, or they would have mentioned that before. If they cannot, then perhaps you can consider removing a bush or two to improve visibility for both backing out and child safety.

Actually, I think maybe they just don't like your bushes and she thinks child safety might get you to remove them.

Can't you just remove the end one? If they are evergreen, they may be tricky to prune. There's no way that it is not dangerous to have a kid possibly come barreling out of a hidden driveway into the road, even accidentally. I know of one person who lost a child in a sledding incident just like that, but that's kind of on the parents to avoid/protect. But removing one shrub would be a bit of a compromise. I'd do it just for my own backing-out, possibly.

Can you post a pic of the area and the bushes?

We don't have sidewalks where we live and I asked our neighbours if they would mind cutting down a bush between our two properties because I couldn't see when backing out. They could have said no, they could have told me to back in but they didn't - they very kindly kept it but did cut it down.

We had a bush that was growing along the curb and into the street a little, I noticed that kids (we're on a street to a school) were having to walk into the street a little to walk around the bush. I took out the bush because it was obviously a safety concern.

Sorry, but I see nothing wrong with the request and if the OP chooses to do nothing then fine. But what's wrong with all of us helping to watch out for our neighbours.

The OP has responded that she has checked her bushes, no dead spots (which really has nothing to do with safety), and she doesn't think they obstruct the view. In that case, I would not remove my bushes. I might, however, do as a couple of others have suggested, and do a trim, just for the sake of a good relationship with your neighbor. No way does the neighbor have the right to trim the OP's bushes (assuming they are only on her property).

First thing I would do is take pictures of the bushes or shrubs exactly as they are now. Take them from as many angles as possible in case people get strange and decide to go into your yard and do some unsolicited chopping.

In general it is a good idea to have a written record with the date and pictures of the bushes and their closeness to the property line. That way you can pull up the pictures and prove your side of the argument if anyone confronts you and your DH about the bushes.

The next thing I would do is try to have a bit of empathy even if you don't express it to your neighbor about being a stressed mom with a busy three year old. That is often the state of most moms of three year olds. Just saying :-).

Show us your bushes!

( I can say that, right?)

OH don't we all hate neighbor disagreements? Years ago I had a black walnut tree toward the back of my property. I kept it trimmed up high. Neighbor lady behind me asked me to cut it down because she was afraid it might fall on her toddler when he was swinging or in sand box. She got really mad when I told her it was a very sturdy tree and I was not going to cut it down. I told her she was welcome to trim what hung over on her side, but it wasn't anything she could reach. 20 -30 feet up was the closest branch to her. Wonder what her real agenda was?

Thank you all for a very comprehensive and thoughtful analysis of our problem. I have checked zoning, and the bushes are compliant. I prefer not to post pics because the problem is less about their appearance and more about maintaining a good relationship with our neighbors while also having control over our own property. And, frankly, the person with a dog in this fight is really my husband, since he takes care of landscaping, and he wants to do nothing. The neighbors are really not the type to take things into their own hands. You have all confirmed my feeling that we shouldn’t feel pressured to comply with her request nor feel guilty because we don’t. Thank you very much for taking your time to respond.