Dress for wedding #2

August 21, 2019
last modified: August 21, 2019

Wedding #2 is Labor Day weekend and is a very upper east side wedding (although in Boston) and "black tie preferred." I'm told I can go long or short. Evidently, my Disney princess dress is perfect for Colombia, but not necessarily sophisticated enough for this crowd. So I'm trying to find something else. The following dress is one I tried on when I bought my last one and I liked it very much. It would be floor length on me (the model pictured is 5'10). I would wear my hair up and accessorize with a string of pearls. I haven't ordered it yet.

I don't always trust my own taste.


Thanks all.

Comments (59)

  • blfenton

    I love the first one but I really don't see pearls with it.' I think that the black and white combination on top might detract from the beautiful colours of the skirt, there wouldn't be anything tying the top to the bottom. I would probably wear a piece that brings in the colour of the skirt to create an overall look.

    The second one is more sophisticated and I see pearls with it.

    But of course it depends on the string of pearls.

    Who is the first one by?

    jojoco thanked blfenton
  • yeonassky

    I agree the second one is slightly more formal looking.

    The first one is fun though and I love the pretty colors.

    You might have to try the pearls on with it before you decide. I agree with blfenton that the pearls might not quite work with it. Unless maybe they are pink pearls. :-)

    jojoco thanked yeonassky
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  • IdaClaire

    A delicate pink vintage necklace would be lovely with the first dress. This one is a mere $30k on firstdibs (cough, cough), but is good inspiration.

    jojoco thanked IdaClaire
  • mtnrdredux_gw

    I like the second one. It is sophisticated and more formal. I think the fabric on the first one might look cheap IRL? That's the thing about a lot of gowns, they are actually pretty inexpensive and sometimes IRL they remind me of those boxed Halloween costumes with the velcro closures that pretty much last one wearing --- because that is how people usually use them. Here are some I like from last call, all avail in 8

    jojoco thanked mtnrdredux_gw
  • Oakley

    The first one. Beautiful!

    jojoco thanked Oakley
  • jojoco thanked mtnrdredux_gw
  • mtnrdredux_gw

    This may be my fave; in Charcoal (cool color) and I bet it lays beautifully; a great deal too....$850 marked down to $179.50

    jojoco thanked mtnrdredux_gw
  • party_music50

    I also vote for the 1st -- but not with pearls. :)

    jojoco thanked party_music50
  • Annie Deighnaugh

    For me, the first looks a little too much like hostess at home party with the print skirt...the 2nd, unless it fits to a T would probably drive me nuts all night with the off the shoulder (not that I could ever wear it anyway with my girls) and whether or not it would interfere with dancing...every time you put your arms up, they off the shoulder would slip up.

    If you want a print, then perhaps something like this one... which an Edith Head...tight enough to show you're a woman and loose enough to show you're a lady...very Grace Kelly.

    Of course, after your last post, an ad kept showing up with a really lovely dress that I liked...that of course won't show up again as now I'm looking for it. So it goes!

    jojoco thanked Annie Deighnaugh
  • mtnrdredux_gw

    saks off 5th --- more bargains.

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  • Annie Deighnaugh

    I like that last one mtnrd posted...

    jojoco thanked Annie Deighnaugh
  • salonva

    So many posted, so many wonderful options. I think the Badgely that Mtn just posted is my current favorite. I don't think any would be wrong,,,,,,but I kind of agree about the first one having something I don't love. (hmmm house party? lol)

    jojoco thanked salonva
  • jojoco

    I hope none of you are on my 10 am tour because I should be reviewing for it instead of happily going down this rabbit hole of beautiful dresses. The first dress is by Eliza J, btw. Last night I sent my MIL the two dresses for her opinion (she is a NYC fashionista and it is her granddaughter who is getting married.) She preferred the second one and thought I would get more wear out of it (maybe as we have two more fancy weddings between October and February ). I told her I would order both. She asked for pictures. Don't get me wrong--she is the sweetest woman but very opinionated fashion wise. (She did Kindly say both would look great on me, though.)

    Mtn, I love two of the ones you sent, the black soutache one and the pink/white one. But I am leery of mermaid gowns. I don't think they do much for anyone. And that charcoal one is beautiful, but if it gives curves to that skinny Minnie, I'm kind of worried what it will do to the rest of us.

    Jmck, your dress is beautiful! That style doesn't do much for me on top (I'm too big) but I can see how elegantly perfect it would be for a wedding.

    Ida, love those pearls. Oh, to dream...

    Most likely I will order both today and then return one. I do like them both and if fit isn't and issue and my MIL has a strong preference, than I will defer to her.

  • roxanna7

    Annie -- I just checked out the Adrianna Papell you linked -- the model is 5'10" and is wearing a size 2. Yikes, how skinny IS she?? I despair. Lol.

  • Rory

    I like the Aidan Mattox dress shown above but I would wear the Theia dress in a heart-beat if it came in a different color. I think it's very hard to wear strapless tops - they always look so contrived and uncomfortable to me.

    jojoco thanked Rory
  • mtnrdredux_gw

    Really? I love strapless, nothing like tanned shoulders. As long as you have a good bra and the dress fits perfectly.

    Jojoco, you are wise!

    PS now you have me dress shopping!

    jojoco thanked mtnrdredux_gw
  • Annie Deighnaugh

    Haha! I'm with rory...the only way I could go strapless is if I had hot air balloons above me tied to my boobs to hold them up! There's no earthbound structure that could accomplish it!

    And if I go braless, I can't jog without bruising my thighs!


    jojoco thanked Annie Deighnaugh
  • nosoccermom

    Is the wedding indoors/outdoors, evening/afternoon?

    jojoco thanked nosoccermom
  • tinam61

    First one would be beautiful on you and I agree that it would go with the black dress crowd, but would be different. No to the pearls with it.

    jojoco thanked tinam61
  • cd7733

    Both are pretty! I'd choose number two, hands down.

    "Black tie preferred" is fancy-schmancy. I think the first dress isn't quite there and would not fit in surrounded by tuxs and gowns.

    Please post what you choose, when your dresses arrive!

    jojoco thanked cd7733
  • jojoco

    I just checked the invitation. The wedding is at the Institute for Contemporary Art. I ordered the short dress and am off to Lord and Taylors to pick up the long one--or at least try it on again. I'll look around while I am there. There is also a Neiman Marcus there (King of Prussia mall) and probably every other department store imaginable. I have a very limited patience level for shopping though, so if I don't see things quickly, I'll leave.

    I'll report back later.


  • jojoco

    So here's the report. Both dresses are now at home with me. So is the receipt.

    The long dress is really pretty and elegant.

    I like it a lot but think I may need to go up a size (this is a 6). It's not super tight, but a little constricting. Leaning towards going up a size so that if it is hot, I'll be comfortable. they had a size 8 there, I just didn't try it on due to a rush to leave.

    The second dress is beautiful, but has a weird boning thing going on in the chest. The neckline is completely swan-lake flattering, but I could hide a semi-squashed tennis ball in the hollows created from the boning below the neckline. It's like a giant, gaping bra. I have no idea why they added boning down the front. It is really unnecessary. The effect from the side is sort of shoe boxy and matronly (unless someone hugs me, lol.. It bugs me and I've only worn it for a few moments. I think a whole night might drive me nuts. I could see about removing the boning (and the sewn-in bralettes,) but I don't feel like doing major surgery on a dress--nor do I really have the time. But that being said, my dressing room neighbors liked it better than the long one.

    I would also want to shorten it slightly (remember, it was above the knee on the model.)

    I'm leaning towards the long one in a looser size, but am open to corrective thoughts on the shorter one.



  • cd7733

    Oh, wow! That dress looks much nicer on you than the ad!

    Opinion changed! I like the long one!

    jojoco thanked cd7733
  • jmck_nc

    They both look very nice on you! I did not like the flowery skirt in your first photo, but on you I love it. I would maybe ditch the sash on that one or have it re-attached so it ties in the back. For me, there's enough going on with the fullness of the fabric and the pattern and the sash takes it one step too far. Either way, they look great so I say go for comfort!

    jojoco thanked jmck_nc
  • salonva

    Love the dressing room neighbors!

    I think I prefer the short one much more, but if it's going to need surgery I don't think so. ...sorry no help here. just loved the dressing room camaraderie!

    jojoco thanked salonva
  • jojoco

    So after looking at the picture of the model in the short dress, I tried it on again but more off the shoulders. It definitely fits much better that way. I’m on the fence again. I also tried the long one on again but this time with the bow in the back and that is much nicer looking than before. It’s more streamlined. I’m going to ask my DH to weigh in.

  • blfenton

    What does MIL say?

    So, the wedding is "upper east side" and at the Institute of Contemporary Art - which type of dress do you envision yourself in given those two constraints? And do either of those two dresses fulfill that vision?

    I thought that the neckline on the second dress would be a little lower and if it was I would be happier with it than I am.

    I really like the first one on you (this isn't meant to make you feel uncomfortable but... you have a pretty upper chest - that area below and including the clavicles and it looks good on you and is really pretty.

    Have you tried your pearls with it?


    jojoco thanked blfenton
  • Zalco/bring back Sophie!

    I love the floral one on you, much better than the model.

    jojoco thanked Zalco/bring back Sophie!
  • rubyclaire

    I really like the second one if you can get the fit to be comfortable for you. Looks very elegant on you!

    jojoco thanked rubyclaire
  • jojoco

    Blfenton, I have no visions of myself. Most of the guests will be in column-like black sheaths (I'm guessing here) and probably look hungry. I'm used to being on the outer edge of what is fashionable. When I lowered the neckline on the short dress, it was more flattering, but there is a fine line between graceful neck vs. so low that you look wrapped in a towel. I have to find that line. And not to worry, it's not news to me that my upper chest draws looks (although "pretty" isn't the word most would use to describe it, lol. I've been fighting this battle since high school.)

    I haven't tried it with pearls and I thought the shoes that would go best with it would be nude pumps and a matching vintage Ferragamo bag.

    The only other factor is that dh and I will be dancing most of the night away. And for those with concerns about the short one slipping off the shoulders, there is no chance of that. It has those non-skid (think glue gun glue) thingys all around the trim on top.

    oh, and MIL likes the long one but I think she said that because she could hear the wariness in my text about the boning. She wants to know what dh thinks. Ironically, he will want me to wear whichever one I prefer. But, if pressed, he will offer a preference.

    ETA: Just learned that my MIL, SIL and mother of the bride are all wearing long black dresses. And I just tried the dresses on for DH. He prefers the long one, hands-down.

  • gail618

    I absolutely love the first one posted! It's beautiful and so interesting, a bit different which I think is great. Not sure I would wear pearls with it though, I like the necklace Jen posted. ETA sorry, didn't read everything above before posting!

  • eld6161

    Comfort is key. You have the floral.......I would keep looking if you are not 100 percent sold.

    I do think it looks good on you and I especially like the idea of moving the bow around.

    What is key to me is that is looks comfortable.

    I prefer clothing that I can put on and and then forget. I hate the idea of having to constantly adjust.

    Only if I were truly desperate would i buy a dress that had to have several alterations.

  • Annie Deighnaugh

    Sorry to be the voice of negativity here. While they are both fine, you're so lovely and I'm thinking you could do me there's something less than optimum about both of them.

  • jojoco

    Annie, that is so sweet of you to say. Unless I see something better on Saturday when we return the other one, I'll probably go with this. But keep in mind, I have two more weddings to go. I know another one will be formal (and in Boca)...

  • eld6161

    You're our social butterfly Jojo!

  • Olychick

    The hungry women in the black sheaths will be so envious when you show up in that flowered dress! It's quite sensational, without being "out there."

  • jojoco

    You are all so nice to me! Eld, I'd prefer to be much less of a social butterfly. The next wedding is in Boca around Christmas. I believe it will be a formal one but we haven't received that invitation yet, only a save the date card. The last one (I hope!) is in Atlanta in February.

  • yeonassky

    I prefer the first one on you! it's not just black it has some colour and movement to it. You look smashing in it! It may be hard to beat... You may need to forgo the pearls and try for something like that vintage pink necklace up thread.

  • l pinkmountain

    I'm absolutely no fashionista, but I think that maroon off the shoulder dress looks silly/trying too hard. If it was black and without the fluff with real pearls, then OK, but that's not the look. Not sophisticated as is, IMHO. But what do I know, I'm from the boondocks. But my sophisticated mother always went for shape and fit and tailored over ornamentation. You and your expensive tasteful jewelry should be the star, not the dress details. So with that reasoning, my vote is for dress #1 or something less frilly from the remainder.

    BTW, I loved the yellow frilly gown, because it was unabashedly all-in. That's my rule, no middle-of-the-roading!

  • Oakley

    The floral is so elegantly understated but attention drawing at the same time. Just beautiful. Now you'll have to find a piece of jewelry that's perfect.

    The second dress looks cheap for some reason. Maybe the frou frou stuff at the top.

  • maire_cate

    I'm probably the last person to offer fashion advice but I do like the first dress. There's a lot going on with the floral pattern and I don't think a strand of white pearls would add to the outfit. I like IdaClaire's pink necklace for color. If you're wearing your hair up then why not try a pair of drop earrings and forgo a necklace.

  • jojoco

    If anyone is still following this thread, can I ask one more favor? Background: I am definitely going with the long floral dress. It goes to the floor on me and I will wear black pumps. But here's the favor-- I need a bag. I cannot stand another minute looking on Amazon (Prime as I need it this week) and I saw nothing I liked at Lord & Taylor. I would like a pop of color in a bag. I am drawn to pink. I would love a velvet bag (wedding is just barely in September.) Yes/ no to pink? If I go black then I am all set with several that I already own. My hair will be up, and I am wearing drop pearl earrings with a teeny bit of rhinestone bling. They are very simple. Based on advice here, I will most likely forgo any necklace (no pearls, I promise!) Any bag suggestions that will get here this week? It doesn't have to be great quality as I won't have many more occasions to use it.



  • maddielee

    No to pink with your pretty floral dress. A basic black clutch or a sparkly (rhinestones or crystals) depending on your jewelry. Still a tad too early for velvet.

  • salonva

    I am far from the fashionista, but I think pink (or that pretty green in the dress) would be lovely.

    However, since you can't seem to find it- I would say it's not meant to be. And since you have several black beauties, I say stop driving yourself crazy.

    (but are you sure about the closed toes?.... I am sure you will lovely no matter what but I think I would prefer open toes . sorry to drive you crazy.).

  • Feathers11

    If it were me, the right bag would come along when I wasn't looking for one. So, I'd go with a black one I already own.

  • jojoco

    salonva, good call. I will go with open toed black ones. I have a bunch to choose from and no one will see them so I'll pick the most comfortable one.

  • Bumblebeez SC Zone 7

    I love the first dress 'cause it's pretty. And reminds me of those giant floral wallpapers in right now.

  • eld6161

    I agree with Salonva, go with one of the black bags that you already own.

  • blfenton

    Open toed shoes with pink nailpolish on your toes. Or is that too much. Do you have the right pink. It would have to be a very soft pink.

    Does one of your black bags have a clasp that is a bit blingy?

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