video of them being a s s e s Im sure would go viral on the internets and maybe cause them to rethink?

Harassing contractors (yelling, threatening, hovering, spraying with a hose)

Have you called the police?

Nasty emails and texts.

Can we see examples?

Telling other neighbors untruths about our project.

Have you consulted your attorney regarding slander?

Does this stuff settle down when the project is over?

Yes and no: the specific behavior cited (spraying contractors with a hose, daily visits to the town hall, etc.) will stop simply because the project will be over, but the underlying hostility will always be there.

We've installed a camera on site which we were hoping would help. Not helping. My husband is meeting with a lawyer to find out what our legal rights are (though I suspect there are not many). We are putting a ton of money into building our dream home and I want to live there and enjoy it. The negativity these neighbors are generating is deflating.

Also concerned about the impact of having a contractor that feels harassed. He says he sees this all the time but our three are ridiculous. How do contractors deal with this?

How do contractors deal with this?

It depends: Are you in New Jersey?

Massachusetts

A few "cease and desist" letters might help. Fence your project. "No Trespassing" sign with specific names might be a little much.

Do you have signs up telling them that there's a video camera? They might be better behaved if they know it's being recorded.

Just from the human perspective, no, I don't think there's any recovering from the kind of behavior your neighbors are exhibiting. They're jerks, and you're just going to have to come to terms with the fact that your dream home is surrounded by them. Legal/police involvement might be appropriate and helpful in the short term, but long term-- they've burned bridges and it's not on you to rebuild them. I'm sorry for the stress this is adding to your project.

Linda,

What do these neighbors actually say to you when you all are outside doing normal stuff, like getting the mail from the mailbox, bringing in the groceries, cutting the grass, etc.? From what you’re describing, I’ll bet they avoid making eye contact if they're alone (in other words, if the other neighbors in their little gang aren’t there). Is that right? Unfortunately, many times, otherwise nice people will turn into terrorists when in a group situation. If that’s the case here, I would just knock on the nicest (weakest) one’s door and ask what‘s up. P.S. Make sure you record your interactions!!

I would not be doing anything suggested.

Try approach the neighbors and find out what the issue is. Be open with them, tell them we are building, we have the approvals, we already compromised on the height. We are moving forward - it is a done deal. We would like to be a good neighbours, but if this is not possible we will have to take an adverse actions.

====

Post no trespassing signs. Something you should do anyway.

====

If some nasties left .... Temporary Restraining Order or Temporary Harassment Prevention * order... (whatever it called in your state ). You need three (3) ( but in reality 4 or 5 direct instances of harassment. Document, report to the police, take the pictures).

Forget "slander" claims they are for celebrities and dirty politicians.

2 of 3 neighbors got to rebuild their houses, but you can't? Were you against their projects or create any issues when they got their permits? Is your new house blocking any views that they think they are entitled to?

Thank you everyone for your thoughtful comments. I'm not sure the situation will get better in the short term, but I know I'm doing all the right things. You made me realize these people are irrational (hopefully only at the moment) and there isn't anything I can do about that. I 100% agree that there is a pack mentality going on that would not exist if there was only 1 of them.

Couple of added facts for your amusement....

- when they did their projects we went to the town approval meetings and stood up and expressed our support.

- we are moving the house forward about 5 feet on the lot. The house was 130 years old and when they built it, it was the first in the neighborhood. The other houses were build around the same time (20 years after ours) and lined up with each other. We are moving ours forward to be consistent with theirs so the neighborhood 'matches'. As part of that, we literally took out ladders and stood in front of their houses make sure that by doing so we didn't change anybody's views.

- when one of them did their project 2 years ago, we let them use our yard as a staging area for their heavy equipment. The lots are small and we wanted to be helpful as we knew our project was coming.

- this same neighbor has come out and yelled at a contractor that if he steps one toe (yeah...not foot, toe) on his property he was going to sue him.

- When we demo'd the house they literally were on a 3 way call with each other. We were standing in the street in front of one of their driveways (they weren't home) and I immediately got a text telling me to get out of their driveway (we weren't in it)

- the property is fenced and posted with both camera's in use signs and no trespassing....so we are doing all the right things.

My husband and I have tried so hard to do all the right things and do right by these people. The truth is, we can control our behavior but not other people's. So it doesn't really matter that we do the right things, these folks can and will do whatever they want. I can only speculate what their issues are but I'll never know for sure. The only specifics I've gotten is that one says they think the house is too big (it's smaller than theirs), it's too tall (it's a foot taller than the theirs). Our house is consistent with all the others in the neighborhood ...so who knows what's really going on in their heads.

The best we can do is keep doing the right thing and not engaging in their craziness. Still need to hear from the lawyer but I suspect there isn't a whole lot we can do. When it's over, hopefully they will all calm down and start repairing those bridges they've burnt.

It appears that you were great neighbors as long as you had the little, lesser house and kissed their collective behinds. Now, asserting your rights and building a new home that is going to be as good / better then theirs, in the same style, and similar size makes you a threat.

Keep doing what you are doing. These people are jerks.

That is a sad, sad situation that may continue till the end of time. Or you or your neighbor(s) die.

DH and I bought our first house across the street from the old *itch from hell. Her son lived next door. She saved her urine in a bucket and threatened to dump it on my DH. Why? Because he parked on “her” side of the street once. That left a lasting impression on me and hope to never ever have that kind of neighbor situation again. Sorry to be such a downer.

" . . . keep doing the right thing and not engaging in their craziness."

That is key.

But maybe make sure you make as much noise as possible as soon as your allowed in the morning just because. With equipment exhaust running in their direction whenever possible as well.

I've built and renovated infill properties since the late '70s.

Yours is a common experience! No one wants change. Let alone the insufferable arrogance of someone building bigger or better than they have.

But yours is to the extreme!

Since sweet words or acts don't help, the legal route is the best you can do.

Avoid confrontation!

Avoid confrontation!

Wow... that is a kick in the gut. You get shot four time and then when you get out of the hospital you spend six months in jail.

He's lucky the firefighter wasn't packing heavier artillery!

I feel your pain... ours wasn't close to the level of your situation but when we custom built 20 (!) years ago our neighbors were angry and gave us a hard time. Why? Because our lot had stood empty for the previous 15 years when their homes were built. The one neighbor was in financial distress and had to sell off their double lot which we bought. We had constant complaints while building: "this used to be my backyard", calling the police on us, accusing of us using their water, cutting down their trees, poisoning their flowers, telling our contractors they were not allowed to park in front of the house (there are no restrictions against this), sending cease and desist letters from their attorney etc. It never really got better after we moved in, both neighbors eventually moved. Keep your chin up and good luck with your build - you aren't doing anything wrong!

Just remember, KY Senator Rand Paul was minding his own business in his own yard when a crazy neighbor came up from behind and physically attacked him. He is still having various health issues and surgeries from this. The neighbor has been found guilty and fined $580,000 and some jail time. He is appealing.

There are nutty people out there and your next door neighbor may be one of them. I would first try talk to him. If that doesn't work, hire a lawyer and let him write to your neighbor outlining what the consequences his actions might cause.

Agree w/BT. This sounds like a "pack mentality "
I'd try taking the high road.
Good luck. Be safe

I’m sorry you’re experiencing this. bry911’s advice is sound.

Does your community have a "Dispute Resolution Center"? That's what ours is called - a not-for-profit agency that brings people in dispute together in a supervised setting (with highly trained facilitators) to try to get to the bottom of behavior like this and give people an opportunity to resolve their issues. Not sure that it's fair for you to participate in something that seems so one sided, but if your neighbors felt they were being "heard" by a neutral 3rd party, with an opportunity for some kind of resolution acceptable to you both, maybe it would de-escalate their behavior.

It's not binding arbitration just mediation. Not legally binding in any way. They don't judge and decide who's right or wrong, just try to help find common ground and work to help resolve conflicts. I know there are many organizations that do the same kind of work around the country. Just a thought.
http://www.mediatethurston.org/