No matter what was said or where, it is not normal for a man to say “ you will obey” under any circumstances when speaking to a business client, male or female. If I read correctly, the OP did not become upset or use any questionable language ( not that it is acceptable) until this “ gentleman” began bullying her about with his “ you will obey”.
To the OP- you must get an attorney that is board certified in Construction law as has been suggested by a few others. Also, do not expect any of the other witnesses ( employees) to do anything but support what ever version of what they are told to “ obey”. This is apparently a normal environment for them, unfortunately. Sad.
As far as the decision to remain in the contract or cut your losses? How many more times are you willing to be treated in that manner? While you may not have been at your best, he treated you like dirt under his foot before you said much of anything. I’m not certain your tongue would take the constant biting it would require to visit your build site even when he decides to allow it. He has already made it clear that he has much longer to accomplish this build than you thought. It’s time to spend some time reading your contract, they nearly always only favor the builder unless you negotiated exceptions in your best interests.

@ImagineThat!, "No matter what was said or where, it is not normal for a man to say “ you will obey” under any circumstances".

Is normal in GTA Markham.

Strategery- Thanks for the heads up, I’ll be sure to “Mark” it off my travel schedule. The OP might not have realized with whom she was getting into a business relationship and it will not work out well for either one of them.

She said he was being a "smart a**" after he told her that she will OBEY. That doesn't count as swearing in my book.

I also hope this is made up but unfortunately know people like this.

Who says "you will obey" to another adult? Sounds like a cultural/language miscommunication?

Did the OP leave the building?

Would absolutely love to hear the other side of this story as I am pretty certain we have barely scratched the surface.

I swore at a customer the other day, have no regrets, and issued no apology.

He called me on a Friday night to tell me that I had to ruin my or my employees weekend because his ice maker wasn't working. It was apparently working when we left the job. When I refused, as I can't conceive of how a lack of automatic ice for two days could possibly ruin or endanger someone's life or property, he threatened to file a formal complaint with the Florida Department of Business and Professional Regulation.

I told him to contact a reverse osmosis contractor and if his contractor told him the lack of ice was our fault, I would reimburse him, a generous and fair response considering the circumstances. After he called me a "pissant contractor" I made a suggestion as to a certain act he was welcome to perform on me.

Ultimately, he took my suggestion. His RO man said we tripped the leak alarm. He reset it in minutes. My customer said he was going to submit the bill to me, but I haven't seen a thing.

This thread is almost as good as the thread with the roof that was built wrong and the owner walked his neighbor through the project and found a multitude of other problems.

Nothing tops the garbage can saga.

"Nothing tops the garbage can saga."

You can't just drop that without a link. LOL!

JJ - good point.

You can't just drop that without a link. LOL!

Here you go! It's a long thread, so make sure you start reading from the beginning. Houzz only shows the latest comments by default, but all the fun stuff happened near the start.

Garbage Can Saga

I am proud to share that I was part of the Garbage Can Saga. At least I was there at the beginning. I couldn't last all the way to the end.

Obey. Yeah, like that's going to work.

If "you will obey" is part of the sentence "you will obey the rules we have set up for this construction site," then the OP may not have much of a case.

How I missed the Garbage Can Saga, I'll never know! Thanks for the link!

I just reimbursed my customer $98.00 for his RO bill.

Does anybody know what the Garbage Can Saga OP ended up doing?

If you read the thread, he says. I didn't reread the whole thing, but I think he bought a new can and left the old, not-his can out. The old can disappeared after a while. No further conflicts either passive or real.

Well I just spent (wasted) an enjoyable hour re-reading the Great Garbage Can Caper. It was just as good this time. 😁

@littlebug zone 5 Missouri I’ll have to check it out. It has to be a more satisfying thread than the person with the neighbor copying their custom home plan where we never got to see the two houses. You can’t drop that claim and not post pics.

@Marie J. - EXACTLY!!!! I was expecting some photos to be posted showing the “copycat house” - but NOTHING! Very disappointing.

I also wish people would post photos of finished projects after receiving help from people. It would be nice to see the “after” photos in order to compare them to the ”before” photos. Simple updates would be nice also when possible. Plus, posting photos/providing updates would be helpful for others who stumble across an old post when looking for solutions/answers/opinions for their current project. It might even help cut down on some of the repeated questions on here!

What a piece of trash you are.

Why stoop to throwing vulgar insults at someone like a grade school bully?

Pot calling the kettle black?

If the other person starts it, there's nothing wrong with throwing it back at them. Sometimes as a business owner you might have to suck it up and take it in fear that it will affect future business with other people, but if you don't have that issue then by all means, return what is given to you.

If the other person starts it, there's nothing wrong with throwing it back at them. ...but if you don't have that issue then by all means, return what is given to you.

You are just as disgusting as Joseph Corlett.

Sad that you think it's OK for a business owner to tell a paying customer to perform a vulgar sex act on him, over a petty disagreement.

Personal comments such as above can get you either suspended or banned. Not from the Houzz police but had it happen to me. Luckily only a 5 day suspension several years ago.

maifleir03

Really? They have moderators on here?

I have seen trolling, bullying and ganging up on people asking for advice. And it's usually the same ones doing it over and over.

That's why many people post once and leave the site.

Yes they do. I do not know the criteria but there are both web non-human monitors and human ones. You can also be banned if your post is flagged as being offensive. Ask over in Kitchen Table about it.

Moderators? Please. Houzz shows nothing but contempt with its horrifically consistent spamming of professional regular contributors.

Joseph Corlett -

You think it is OK for a "PRO" such as yourself to boast/brag about this...

I swore at a customer the other day, have no regrets, and issued no apology. I made a suggestion as to a certain act he was welcome to perform on me.

Yet you whine/complain to the moderators when I correctly call out those comments as vulgar, disrespectful, unprofessional and petty?

Would you like people to talk to you, your wife, or kids that way?

If I, my wife, or kids start swearing at someone then it's okay in my books if that person feeds it back to them. People won't learn how to behave towards other people if nobody ever challenges their childish outbursts and you just take it and nod politely and grovel. They will believe that their behaviour is acceptable and will be more likely to do it to others in the future.

greg_2015 -

You teach your kids that if someone says something rude ("pissant" was the exact word here), then it is okay to stoop to their level and hurl even more childish and vulgar insults at them?

You think that is a good way to teach them "how to behave towards other people"?

You think it is OK for a "professional" to "suggest a certain act he was welcome to perform on me" to a paying customer?

I challenge bad behavior all the time, and most certainly do not "node politely and grovel." But I don't challenge such behavior with even WORSE name-calling behavior.

Neither of us were part of the phone conversation.

Maybe you are picturing a nice calm conversation until the point where the customer called him a "pissant contractor" and then Joseph escalating that. In that case, I'd agree that he was also in the wrong.

But I'm picturing a customer being extremely combative and yelling at Joseph until it finally culminates in his calling him a 'pissant contractor' at which point Joseph responded back in order to shut the abuse down and end the conversation.

I'm not saying I always respond in kind. But there are definitely situations where it is called for. This specific situation may or may not be one of those, so I'm not going to condemn Joseph since I wasn't there.

I also don't consider the words themselves as being indicative of who is being more aggressive. Someone can be extremely rude, aggressive, angry and horrible while using absolutely no swear words (You will obey!). And someone can say "f-you" in a situation where it can be endearing. :) (I'm not implying that Joseph was trying to be endearing).

The words themselves don't have power, it's the delivery and intent. "Pissant" isn't something that will get you banned from typing in a forum, but it can be more aggressive than any other swear word if said in the right way with the right feeling behind it (or should I say the wrong way with the wrong feeling behind it).

You are really grasping at straws trying to explain why you and Joseph Corlett are justified in hurling vulgar insults at a customer.

It is possible to conduct yourself in a professional manner...instead of reverting back to your high school bully days by throwing out foul vulgarities.

My condolences to anyone who thinks that "suggesting a certain act he was welcome to perform on me" is ever a good response in a professional setting. Then to go further by bragging about it on the internet?

But calling people 'trash' is okay? That feels like hurling vulgar insults at someone to me.

You are really grasping at straws trying to explain why you and Joseph Corlett are justified in hurling vulgar insults at a person who is hurling vulgar insults at you.

The bolded modification is where our opinions differ. You keep saying 'customer' which to me is implying an innocent person who deserves respect. That is not always the case. The customer is not always right.

We will just have to agree to disagree.

If I am being treated poorly, being bullied, etc - I would likely simply say "this conversation will end now" and hang up. I've told people are work that I will end the call and if / when they can get themselves under control, we can discuss again at a later date, or we move only to email. I've also had to have discussions with managers of unprofessional employees, and also engage HR.

I am pretty sure I'd never tell someone to kiss something - but - it's possible. It would be a pretty high (low?) bar for me to respond in kind.

To be fair - the angrier I get, the quieter I get - so I may be the exception.

I don't, however, have an issue with a supplier / service supplier "firing" a customer - and if the "customer" is being particularly ugly (think crazy people yelling at grocery store cashiers....etc) I am fine for them to give them an unequivocal send off - just to make sure they get the message - and if that takes some powerful / colorful language - so be it.

But calling people 'trash' is okay? That feels like hurling vulgar insults at someone to me. You keep saying 'customer' which to me is implying an innocent person who is deserves respect. That is not always the case. The customer is not always right.

A "professional" who brags on an internet forum about how he verbally insulted and "swore at a customer, have no regrets" is the definition of 'trash', plain and simple.

You keep making the same simple-minded, grade school argument...

If a customer says something mean, then I should get in the gutter and hurl vulgar insults back at them like a punk kid.

I teach my 2nd grader that 'two wrongs don't make a right.' You apparently don't agree with that lesson.

Of course the customer wasn't right. But that doesn't mean the "professional" should stoop to their level, instead of acting like a rational ADULT.

Assuming Joseph Corlett is not a juvenile, he should have simply said..."I've offered you a reasonable solution that I suggest you pursue. And unless you can talk to me in a respectful manner, this conversation/business relationship is over."

'Trash' is a derogatory term. It isn't just a simple description of a person. In the same way that if I called someone an 'a$3hole', it isn't okay just because it fits my description of what that person is doing. It's still a personal attack.

It may be justified (which is my point) but you are saying that it is never justified.

Honestly, you aren't swearing at me but you are the one making personal attacks at my character. I don't think I've said anything personal about you. You're the one calling people trash and simple-minded and juvenile while spouting the virtues of rising up and being the better person.

I'm disagreeing with your arguments. I'm not calling you names. Other than a hypocrite, I guess.

By the way, I'm not saying that your suggested response to Joseph's customer wasn't possibly the better way to handle it. I'm just saying that I don't necessarily fault him for handling it the way he did.

We are discussing how a professional contractor talks to/treats his paying customer by insulting them with vulgarities, bragging about it online, then complaining to moderators when called out.

Surely you can see how that is different than me, a keyboard warrior, describing his behavior as 'trashy' on an internet forum.

In multiple posts, you've defended the idea that it can be OK/reasonable/ necessary for a professional to insult his paying customers with vulgar slurs.

That is absolutely a simple-minded and juvenile way of handling a situation! Ask any grade school teacher who deals with that type of behavior from kids on the playground.

but.... calling people a piece of trash seems - uh - okay???????? 👌

You DID NOT call his BEHAVIOR "TRASHY."

Joseph owned his words, you should at least do the same.

I am owning my words! I literally said it just a few posts ago.

He is trash for acting like that. It is trashy behavior.

I'm not sure how you are equating a professional telling his paying customer to kiss or suck his body part, with me calling him and his behavior trash on an internet forum.

You are really grasping at straws trying to explain why you and Joseph Corlett are justified in hurling vulgar insults at a customer.

It is possible to conduct yourself in a professional manner...instead of reverting back to your high school bully days by throwing out foul vulgarities.

My condolences to anyone who thinks that "suggesting a certain act he was welcome to perform on me" is ever a good response in a professional setting. Then to go further by bragging about it on the internet?

With respect, what is and isn't good for Joseph's business, is Joseph's business. I understand your objection to what he said and you have every right to your offense, however, that doesn't give you license to decide that Joseph isn't running his business properly, nor decide that he must act in a professional manner. He has been in business long enough to do his own analysis of the things that are important to him and he is the one who writes the checks for the things he does.

Booty Bums it seems like you joined in on this thread just to cr*p on a well-respected, regular poster, and then proceeded to get into a p*ssing match with a couple others. Nothing better to do with your time?

BTW, did you even take note of the fact that Joseph paid the RO bill for the customer -- that shows integrity, he kept his word even after telling the customer off.

Joseph is a big boy and doesn't need defending -- I'm posting to call YOU out on your bad behavior on this thread.

It's not just Joseph's business when he posts about it on an internet forum!

His decision to brag about it here allows forum members to offer our analysis.

He can insult and spew all the vulgarities he can think of to his customers.

And I can offer my opinion that it is trashy, unprofessional and childish to do so.

BTW, did you even take note of the fact that Joseph paid the RO bill for the customer -- that shows integrity, he kept his word even after telling the customer off.

I'm posting to call YOU out on your bad behavior on this thread.

Joseph Corlett should have paid the bill, because he REFUSED to fix a deficiency in his work that the customer had previously paid for!

If it is "bad behavior" to call out a professional for bragging about swearing at a paying customer by "making a suggestion as to a certain act he was welcome to perform on me," because the customer wanted him to address a defect in his workmanship, then so be it.

The irony of this thread is laughable...

Person A: I did nothing wrong when I said something derogatory because the customer irritated me.

Person B: I did nothing wrong when I said something derogatory because the professional irritated me.

---

ETA: To answer your post above, calling someone a piece of trash is derogatory...

I swear this must be some type of practical joke.

@bry911 - You took the words right out of my mouth! SMH

It's the hypocrisy that kept me in this discussion too long. I'm glad to hear that I wasn't the only one who was seeing it.

I’d suggest all communications in writing from now on. This is going to end up in a “he said, she said” battle.

I think OP is long gone.