Having had both, I can confirm that kids’ wear and tear is less obvious with wood lowers.

Does it depend on the paint? thinking I read that solid wood isn't ideal to paint - might search less expensive wood-framed mdf ..?

My former house's older stained cabinets were nah, and I moved before I had to deal with worn areas around handles, etc.

https://www.deancabinetry.com/should-i-choose-stained-or-painted-kitchen-cabinets/

IMO you will need to know what is painted for sure since real wood is not ideal for painting MDF is a much more stable choice and BTW the paint holds up better oon MDF tooespecailly factory finished . When you say custom does thatmean a cabinet maker is doing these > Who designed the kitchen I sure hope not the cabinet maker or a cabinet sales person neither are a good choice for design. No oka accents if you choose to go a mix then just wood lowers and painted uppers period. I had 3 boys no issues with painted cabinets at all.

Patricia Colwell Consulting - The cabinet maker and I are designing. Why is this a bad choice? We have tweaked it a few times based on my input. It’s a smallish kitchen so i don’t have that many layout options.

He’s using maple frame with MDF center. I did not want all MDF even though it’s supposedly better for painted finishes.

If you can get that pale of a wood tone from domestic white oak, congrats. I'd stick with your cabinetmaker.