Hard to recommend, without knowing the details of both rooms…cabinets (wood-stained? Natural? Painted?), flooring? Wall colors? Pictures of your choices would help.

I have no experience with black matte kitchen/bath hardware. However, I can say that the black has rubbed off on our very $$$ exterior front door handle, where it is touched the most.

Cabinets will be white oak color with mix of white cabinets, flooring will be around while oak color as well woth walls being white tone. I am thinking gold but my spouse says is againt it. brass is what I am thinking next but also read that the color might change??

Consider polished nickel, which I think of as champagne color.

Yes, unless brass is lacquered, the appearance will change (darken) over time. Like copper, it is a living surface.