So sorry about your loss. One thing to consider is to rearrange the furniture even if it feels as if it won't fit another way--it will.

Can you post pictures of the space? Use a jpeg format.

What a challenge. I can imagine needing to feel the space anew. (My grandmother hired a designer and completely overhauled her bedroom after my grandfather died. It was totally different, feminine, gorgeous magazine worthy, and she delighted in it.)

Widowhood certainly has not taken the fun out of you! Your descriptions are great. Do you want new furniture, a different sized bed? Can you post a simple drawing of your room and measurements?

You could do a black accent wall and get your polka dots in on curtains, bedding, upholstery.

Your look sounds eclectic. You may not like the look of this room but I find delight in how eclectic it is and some elements feel feminine, other zen, and it is certainly bold but not obnoxious.

Decorate by Holly Becker and Joanna Copestick · More Info

Houzz is a great resource. Search bedrooms with the various elements that you identify that you like and stash the images in an idea book. Then review that idea book, see what themes come to the fore. That might give you a starting point.

Post a few pictures of YOUR room. Then ? Get online with any keywords you want to use. Start with a color you adore. Do you like modern, traditional , something in between . Upload any you love. That's the part nobody here, can tell you and the very last thing you need is four thousand ideas. ...........

What "feels wrong", is there is nobody sharing your room. Aside from that sad state? What if anything did you love about the room, prior? Or not?

So sorry for your loss.

Find an inspiration piece to develop a new color scheme...be it a plate, art work, a photo of a room you like, something to kick start the direction for your room. I don't see zen and cheerful and quirky all quite working together. I'd suggest picking one...what is it you most want to feel when you walk into the room?

I too am sorry for your loss. I suggest you go to google and search for bedrooms you like and post those in your idea box . That will help us to understand what yu like. If you leave this post as is the pics will come but be all over the map with no clear help.

Might suggest hiring an interior designer. They might be able to pull your seemingly different styles and inspirations together into a more cohesive whole.

Take one of Houzz's style quizzes.

Houzz Quiz: What's Your Decorating Style?

Look at articles on bedrooms

11 Design Trends to Transform Your Bedroom (houzz.com)

Look at the decorating styles section of Houzz and look at the articles on style. On the page in the link below, at the top of the page, but below the menu bar, there are 2 green links: "decorating guides" and "decorating styles"

Decorate With Intention: Define Your Style (houzz.com)

Many of us don't have one style that can be defined, but in the style guides, there will be plenty of pictures with different focuses: bold, minimalist, comfort, glam, etc. Make an ideabook to collect pictures you like. Include a note with the pictures, because you might like some tiny detail in an otherwise meh room.

That said, I have my great-grandmother's crazy quilt on my bedroom wall. It's a link to my family and makes me feel good when I see it when going to bed. So, I'd pick something meaningful to put on the wall next to your bed.

Your therapist gave good advice, not only for a change you may need but for having the project to think about. If you have a good friend or a family member to share ideas with, go shopping with, etc. the process will be easier and more enjoyable.

Instead of trying to figure out your taste (you mentioned a wide variation of styles lol) you did reference a ”refresh“ and if that's the case, you’ll have to consider how to incorporate. Bedding, wall color, art, drapery, rug are impactful. Are you keeping any furniture and if so, provide pictures of room, advise what's being kept accessory wise also.

If starting from scratch, do on line searches using a broader description: traditional, transitional, eclectic, etc and within those categories there will be wide variations. Soon you’ll start to see a look you are attracted to. If you provide that info on Houzz you’ll receive more relevant advice. Collect lots of ideas before you begin and hope having a room you love helps in your journey.

If you had to put your taste in a box, it would be called eclectic. Folks on Houzz do not do eclectic well, as seen by the comment "I don't see zen and cheerful and quirky all quite working together" and all of the suggestions to google instead of getting help here. However, don't give up on your vision. You have something special in the making!

I'm sorry for your loss.

Your three ideabook photos show subtle light colors with one or two more more assertive accent colors. All three show a geometric wood trim wall- do you have a wall like this already?

It would be easy to start with white bedding and add a throw in one of your favorite colors.

Just looked at your ideabook. Make a list of the things you liked about those photos. Keep saving more pics and adding those things to the list too. Share those with us and we can better help you make a space you love.

I had a friend who when her husband died, she turned the bedroom into read room, lounge, library hangout space and got a nice daybed for the living room and just never used it as a bedroom again. She had no kids living a home so it was easy for her to do and it was right for her. Everyone does it differently.

Posting this to see how you feel about the dramatic black.