So do you have to furnish the apartment? Does he need a hospital bed? I would try to include anything that is familiar and brings him joy, engagement, and comfort and makes the place cheerful and inviting for him and visitors. Favorite activities, drinks, snacks, music, clothing. Photos of both of you when you were younger/family/friends/pets/garden/accomplishments/travels/hobbies. Hugs to you and your husband as you navigate this new chapter in your lives.

your description is hard to follow... photos and room measurements will help getting suggestions.

I am sorry for your situation, are the decorating ideas for you, or for him?

This is a difficult time, so go easy on yourself. Ask the staff's evaluator if they recommend a (rented) hospital bed or a simple twin with low foundation. They may provide sheets and towels while you

The assisted living facility may have their floor plans online for you to download.

In general, bringing decorative things from home makes the room welcome. Artwork, books, magazines, tv. A short chest of drawers that he can open from his wheelchair, a laundry bin, wastebasket, and so on can be brought from home.

A scaled drawing would be helpful!

It is also helpful to know, that his habits will change. Morning coffee, is about all he will do in the kitchen. The meals come with the apartment.

I won't make any attempt to cheer you, because all of these situations are fraught with a lot less than perfection and the resources rarely make a difference ONCE you get to assisted living level, or the memory care level. They are allll small. It is fact that the luxury units exist only at the independent living level.

The facility should provide you a floor plan, post it here.

As to decoration - USE the walls. Art, photos, a clock, a calendar. The more you limit doo dads and clutter on limited table top surfaces? The more spacious it will feel. The easier it is for housekeeping to clean it.

If he isn't a large man, an extra long twin bed may be the best. You may even want rails in the even he rolls. Also easier for bedding changes at that size.

Your job is to be vigilant on supplying his necessities and plenty of them! From underwear to depends to changes of clothes to toothpaste and T.P to sheets ( please just trust me on that one)

Forget about things he can trip on, especially scatter rugs. There's probably a shelf outside his apt door - personalize it with something meaningful and familiar to him.

Make yourself a well known presence, come and go at "surprise times" . Ply the staff with cookies , pizza etc. Their jobs are quite difficult.

Your single biggest concern is that he gets the care you want him to have. .....: ) Honey catches a lot more flies than does vinegar.

Near the entry I would hang a bulletin board where you can post the weekly menu and activities calendar that is usually passed out weekly. Also could include a personal calendar of important dates or medical appointments.

They don't print or pass out anything. Its usually a channel on the tv. and includes the daily menu and activities available.

What is helpful to know? The ratio of residents to caregivers......or vice versa, and is it agency help or whatever.

The meals come with......what else? Is help beyond the basic included or is it ala carte.?

That's one of THE most telling in what to expect!

Think of their their tasks.........help with dressing, help with bathing, pill management, helping get residents to the dining and to assigned seating.

Call it weird and childlike? But long time residents can be very territorial when it comes to table meals.

You will ask how I know all this? Don't: ) I'll write you a novel on my own parents and the parents of many , many many clients I have helped move into these. Every variety of aging.

A recliner that does not swivel and easy to use. Swivel chairs do not provide a stable arm for getting in and out of the chair. Cabinet for storing bath towels, sheets (unless supplied) and toiletries. My mom’s assisted living apartment was filled with her favorite painting, family photos and few treasured items. We taped down the edges of throw rugs with double sided rug tape.

Start with what he'll want to do himself and what he'll need help with. For example, if someone has to help him shower, the towels don't need to be all that convenient for him to reach, someone can fetch them for him.

Assisted living apartments are quite bleak when bare. You need to bring art and furniture from home, to make it look like home. They usually allow you to put up pictures. If you need to buy new, smaller furniture, bring sofa pillows and a throw or ottomans from home. I presume you'll spend a fair amount of time there with him, so a comfy chair for you. Floor lamps from home, too.

You'll need a table in the kitchen area, because when there are Covid restrictions or other issues, he'll get his meal in his apartment. The table will need to do double-duty as a desk. If you might bring some food and share dinner occasionally, it should accommodate you. A gateleg table and folding chair might help.

If he always sleeps on one side and gets out of the bed on the same side, you want to orient the bed so it's closer to the bathroom.

Start by very carefully measuring the space, deciding what furniture he needs and measuring everything carefully. If it's a tight fit, measure the widest bit of the furniture (like if there's a bit of trim that sticks out), ditto for things like baseboards.

SInce you'll be near by, he won't need storage for out-of-season things, store them at home and bring them.

Inspect the food. Go during dinner and take a good look. Food is often the part of the day the residents look forward to and some assisted living facilities have mediocre food.

Jan-Yes, in many Assisted Livings they DO pass out menus and activity schedules to residents.

We moved my FIL to three different assisted living facilities and I just helped a friend do the same.

1. Start with safety. Yes, move microwave. He'll only need snacks and no mean prep space. No throw rugs at all. Bright lighting that can be easily turned on an off - shadows can increase fall risks. Large bedside table so fewer things fall off and on to the floor.

2. Furniture. What does he like to do, watch TV, sit at a desk on a computer, sit in a recliner? I found it nice to have a table and chair set so I could bring lunch or dinner sometimes and eat with my FIL in his room.

What is the closet like? Can clothing be stored mostly on hangers and then only need a small chest of drawers? Craigslist, facebook market place are great for inexpensive, yet sturdy items.

3. Decor. Hang things with command strips. Family photos, pieces of art from home that he likes. We had a media/buffet/bookcase type of things and my FIL loved to display objects on the shelf.

Put family pictures on an electronic photo frame. It takes up little space, holds hundreds of photos, and has settings that vary the time each photo is displayed. One of ours accepts emailed photos from our family.

If the decor is a bit bland, maybe finding a peel and stick wallpaper in a mural scene he would enjoy might help the apartment not look so stark… this might be an idea to mull over, getting settled, comfortable and with his needs met would be the higher priority.

My own parents have been gone for 18 years. Prior to deaths a mere seven weeks apart, they were together in assisted living. Their unit was quite compact . We had two twin beds, mom had her favorite chair, dad had his recliner. A table between, a small buffet with the tv, and a small drop leaf table with two chairs for dining in.

Mom had dementia, dad was fully in command of his faculties and all his issues were physical. I was there every single morning as nobody but me or one supremely helpful sister could get mom into the shower. In all, they were residents for 18 months and provided me a literal tutorial on how to get the best care, anywhere.

It is to the best of your ability, a focus on that which truly matters. It is your presence. I was asked so very often, this question:

" I thought you put them somewhere?!"

"Yes, I did. They were not safe at home. It got beyond all our capabilities to manage both conditions. It got well beyond exhausting. But............this is respite, easing of continual anxiety, not the absolute ABSOLVE".

Our continual presence made allies and friends of the skilled help, and their care when we were not present was indeed wonderful. The bumps in the first few weeks were smoothed in short order - bonds were formed.

It's just the way it is. You will find you need your family, your friends - you just need a damn village : )

All of that takes precedence over decor , which you soon come to realize is nearly irrelevant by comparison.

If pets/dog are/were an enjoyable part of his life, there is an interactive, life-like dog that is available online…I think there might be a cat available too! A nursing home, where my MIL stayed after a hospitalization, had one and she loved it so much that when she moved to assisted living(right before her 90th birthday), we bought one and gave it to her on her birthday. She said it was the best birthday present she ever received. (She had pets/a dog throughout most of her life…she loved animals.) She loved that little dog…it was on her lap or in bed with her most of the time.

Decor: Make sure your husband is surrounded with his favourite things from home and use color with bedding/art.

Set up: This will fall into place when you start adding things, as there won’t be many options, but suggest doing a floor plan first. Define his needs/priorities and yours (comfy chair).

Storage: Think about how to get the most out of the space - will he use a microwave and if not, remove and use the counter/top of fridge for other items (basket to store things). Use the kitchenette drawers and cabinet for less needed toiletries, towels, etc. Use bins under bed for non seasonal clothing. Add stacked boxes on the floor of closet (ie: for albums and extra shoes) and plastic bin towers with drawers were really helpful for my mom.

Safety, accessibility and movement: The more open the areas are the better and suggest a double vs a queen, as the bedside is of huge importance for ease, safety, and also when getting help. If allowed, add a large rubber mat in that area (taped down). This is the area that needs the most consideration.

The rest will fall into place with routine and his needs being your guide. Good luck.

@Susan, every assisted living facility and nursing home we have had family in allows us to bring our dogs for visits. Nothing made my father-in-law happier than our 65 lb dog laying next to him in bed for a nap. Plus, all of the residents adored the dog visits too.

Yes to a double, or twin, instead of a queen.

So true about dogs! It is not uncommon for any of these facilities to invite a trainer and his/her dog for a group gather and greet activity hour. It's entertaining, many residents have beloved pets left behind at home, and it is quite calming.

I went through this two years ago when my Mom needed to be moved to an assisted living facility. Luckily we found one that included furniture. The only piece she brought from home was her recliner. She didn't want curtains, or any other doodads. Comfortable and warm clothing was paramount, but family photos were the most important things in her room. My photographer sister took photos of the house she left behind, inside and out, and made a book. That was genius--she lived in that house for 62 years and was quite sad to leave it. Being able to "visit" whenever she wanted and relive those memories was so good for her.

And yes, Jan, the most important thing is for a loved one to be there as much as possible. We made sure that we knew the staff who was caring for her, it's so important to make a connection and treat them like the angels they are. My Mom was very social and made a lot of friends in the year that she lived there, but visits by her children and grandchildren (and great-grandchildren!) were by far the highlights of her life.

When she passed, her funeral was attended not only by family and long-time friends, but all the staff and friends at the home. It was quite moving.