It is always difficult to stain lighter. It is much easier to go darker. And definitely don't try to match the cabinetry -- you'll miss by a little bit and it will look more wrong than doing nothing.

I think I would wait until I had the kitchen finished before making a decision. If they don't fight, you might be able to leave the furniture alone.

Beautiful table!! I also agree to stain it darker than the cabinets. My renovated "eat in kitchen" has gray cabinetry. I have a 40-year-old handmade oak table and chairs (similar to yours, that I love) that I had refinished, and I am so glad I kept the set. The furniture refinishers said it was very well crafted. Best of luck on your journey!