Software
Houzz Logo Print
jojoco_gw

Long overdue lovely mom update

2 years ago
last modified: 2 years ago

I’ve been waiting many months to do this update. I really wanted to share good news without worrying that it wouldn't last.

As many of you remember, my lovely mom had a catastrophic accident last summer. She fell down a flight of stairs and we truly did not expect her to survive. She had just turned 90 and all the drs (except one) wrote her off. One even told us in the immediate aftermath of the fall that we should just bring her home.

Thank goodness we didn’t listen to him.

It was an awful injury that included broken ribs, bruising, brain bleeds, ventilators, delirium, countless infections, traumatic brain injuries and aphasia. She couldn’t walk, sit up, feed herself. Her hearing was shot. Tubes were everywhere for months. And her weight dropped into the 80’s. Her speech was either gone or was made up words (aphasia). We just kept telling each other that thank goodness she survived and we’d be happy with however she was. But privately, we were all mourning for the incredibly vibrant and independent mother that seemed lost forever. And worry? Boy did we worry. I lost 25 pounds over the course of eight months or so.

Mom went from Yale Hospital to rehab in NYC to her apt with my dad in NYC.

One day, fairly soon after the accident, I discovered that Mom could still read. Her speech didn’t make sense, but she could follow simple written directions. (“Raise your right hand, Mom”). She began reading the newspaper and novels. Words started coming back albeit very slowly. She had speech, OT and PT several times a week. She began helping to prep dinner, cutting the vegetables, etc. She also began playing her piano again. She was always an incredibly gifted pianist who at age 90 was still taking classes at Juliard. She isn’t where she was, but she can sight read anything still and is tackling more and more challenging classic pieces (she nailed Fur Elise). She is now walking more and more with a walker (and an aide nearby). She has aides to help with dressing, exercise and daily living tasks and likely will always need them. She still has moments of confusion, but the bizarre vivid delirium is gone. And to be honest, her short term memory is weak, but improving. All in all, though these days she is doing better than many women her age who never had a TBI.


But today was incredibly special and the reason for my posting. Today was the day that Mom and Dad left NYC to spend almost a month in CT at their summer cottage. It's Mom's first time away since the accident. This place is very meaningful to my family. Mom spent her childhood summers here, as did her Mom and as did I and also my kids. It is our happy place and I now have my own cottage there (well, I’ve had it for 22 years). Mom hasn’t stopped smiling since she arrived.. There has been a small parade of cousins stopping by to say hello and each one has been astounded by how remarkably she has done. She has engaged clearly with each one. When I left tonight to go back to my cottage, she was deep into EB White's Collected Essays (fyi, one of my favorite books ever.). She told me how much she is loving it.

She is a rock star and I couldn't be more proud of her.

Here is a picture of Mom and me that was taken today. Apologies that I’m pretty grungy looking. I spent the day getting the cottage ready for them. The shower would wait.



Comments (62)

  • 2 years ago

    I'm so glad to hear this. I was thinking of your mom recently and wondering how whe was doing. My mom's cousin had a terrible time with a terrible UTI that was treated but either came back or was succeeded by another than went into sepsis. She fell and broke a vertebrae, had a stroke with the sepsis, lost her speech and a lot of mobility plus strength while sick in bed. My cousin described her mom as circling the drain when she got the call and had to make a 2 hour drive hoping she'd get to see her mom alive. It was a lot of touch and go and slow, but getting better all the time. She's similar to your mom in age, and I just kept remembering your mom as we were dealing with our own here. It's good to hear her progress and all the love and support in your stories, but they give hope and something to relate to as well. So thanks for both.

    And I second (third or whatever) you do not look grungy -- you look outdoorsy casual and very happy.

  • 2 years ago

    Oh, WHAT a fabulous update!!!!! I'd love to know more about your mom's personality. She clearly benefitted from having beloved family members advocate for her, but I also believe healing and overcoming such difficult circumstances can be rooted in someone's spirit and attitude. (This isn't to say people who do succumb to illness or injury don't have the right spirit. My beloved Nana was (and still remains in my mind) one of the most positive, get-it-done people I've ever known, but ultimately she succumbed to a devastating diagnosis.) I'm genuinely curious if you are so moved to share more about your mom's general approach to life.....

  • 2 years ago

    I’m so happy for you and your mum and family. Thank you for the heart warming update. 🥰

  • 2 years ago

    Thank you for the update, Jo. What a blessing that your mom could get back to the family cottage. She looks remarkable. So do you!

  • 2 years ago
    last modified: 2 years ago

    That's the perfect post to end my day. I opened with KSWL's recap of her week and now I think I'll just head off to bed. Your lovely mom update has me smiling...it is truly a heartwarming story. And I have to confess that I've been wanting to ask about your Mom but was reluctant to bring it up. I thought that I must have missed a post along the way. It's been a long journey and I'm so happy that your parents can spend time at their summer cottage. Thank you for sharing the news.

  • 2 years ago

    A wonderful update. Two lovely women who look very much alike. And Mom has blue fingernails! I love it!

  • 2 years ago

    Oh, WOW! That is some of the best news I’ve heard in ages! P.S. Can you teach me how to look grungy like you?

  • 2 years ago

    What a wonderful update!

    A weekly blogger I follow just had an essay on E.B.White. Pull Up a Chair blog

    Your mom might appreciate a new, kind of memoir, by his granddaughter: Some Writer!




    The blogger calls out this quote, and I thought of the moment(s) you understood that your mom was communicating beautifully with you: “things can look dark, then a break shows in the clouds, and all is changed, sometimes rather suddenly.“

  • 2 years ago

    Such a nice update:)

  • 2 years ago

    This is such a wonderful update to read. Your mom really is lovely and your beautiful smiles together are amazing. I'm glad that you've been able to spend more time in one of her favorite places filled with memories and people who care about her. I hope she continues to live a rich life.

  • 2 years ago

    This is the best news I’ve heard in months, Jojoco. I’ve been wondering about your mother but tbh was afraid to ask, so your post is a surprise and an absolute delight. Your mom’s indomitable spirit, your tireless advocacy and the tender care from your family have together worked a miracle. Your mom looks so beautifully happy, as do you! This is the reward for not giving up ❤️ ❤️

  • 2 years ago

    Wishing you both the best!


  • 2 years ago

    Jojoco! ! This wonderful news and beauriful picture just has made me so happy.…for you and your family, of course, but it has raised my spirits as well. Your lovely mom and her steadfast, loving family never gave up. Congratulations! 🩷

  • 2 years ago

    Beautiful!!

  • 2 years ago

    What a lucky woman and blessed family.She has benefitted from your advocacy and you all from her example of how to extract every drop of life from our time on Earth! So much joy in that photo!

  • 2 years ago

    Wonderful news! So happy that your mom has improved so much. Lovely picture of the two of you. Wishing you both a special time at your summer cottages.

  • 2 years ago

    What a wonderful update! Beautiful photo. The smiles say it all.

  • 2 years ago

    Thank you for sharing such a lovely update.

  • 2 years ago

    Resilience - my gosh you both epitomize it. What a touching update.

  • 2 years ago

    I‘m so glad to hear your happy uodate. You both look lovely!

  • 2 years ago

    What a great update. She looks so happy!

  • 2 years ago

    What a wonderful update! Enjoy everyday together!

  • 2 years ago

    Thank you for this wonderful update.


    I often wondered how she was healing, always with a prayer.

  • 2 years ago

    What a marvelous update. I’ve been thinking about you and your Mom over these past months.

    My 92 yo Mum had a stroke last summer, shortly after you posted about your experience at the hospital. Reading how dismissive the staff was towards your Mom, made me a more vigilante advocate for my Mum. Over and over again, I had to stress she lives independently, not in a nursing home. Too many assumed what they currently saw was her usual state of being. Fortunately, my Mum did improve and is back living independently, with a little assistance from the family.

    Thank you for sharing your initial experience and the wonderful update.

  • 2 years ago

    Such a wonderful update. I'm so happy for your Mom, you and all the family. She sure is an amazing woman with an equally amazing daughter.

  • 2 years ago

    Your mom is the come-back-kid and just look at that polish color! And you are a rock star for being so observant and helping put the pieces back together. Enjoy your cottage time.

  • 2 years ago

    So glad to see such a positive update - I've been wondering how things were going 🙂

  • 2 years ago

    What a wonderful miracle to hear. Hard work and a miracle. You have been gifted an amazing mom.

  • 2 years ago

    Absolutely glorious news! So heart warming all around. Thank you for the update. You are both amazing women!

  • 2 years ago

    What a road you have all been on this past year. Enjoy where you are today, I can tell you all are. You mother looks vibrant and not in her 90s!

  • 2 years ago

    Wonderful news! You and your Mom are both strong women. It's a great picture!

  • 2 years ago

    Oh my goodness, what a beautiful photo. It's so heartwarming to read how far she has come.

  • 2 years ago

    Amazing! Lucky mom and daughter!

  • 2 years ago

    What a joyous photo! I do not see any grunge at all, just two beautiful, happy ladies. What a difference a year makes. Looks like many of us have been wondering about your Mom’s progress, and now we know what your advocacy and loving care has meant to her progress and getting to this point.

  • 2 years ago

    You both look great Jojo! As others said, I see much joy in that picture. : ) So glad to hear your mom is doing well and how wonderful she can enjoy some time in their cottage!!

    I went through a time of caring for my own mother, and then my father. I know what a difference having loving family members oversee/take part in the care of our loved ones can do.

  • 2 years ago

    You and your mom have the same smile 😀

  • 2 years ago

    Oh Jojo....I know this journey has been very hard, but look at her glowing face!! That is pure joy!! Thank you for sharing!

  • 2 years ago

    She looks thrilled to be there - glowing is right! And you look so happy - and not at all grungy - too. :)

  • 2 years ago

    Your mom is beautiful, and so are you. So happy to hear she's made so much progress!

  • 2 years ago

    Even better to see them both smiling and happy together! 💕 x 1000

  • 2 years ago

    I am so happy to read this update on your beautiful mom. You are a wonderful daughter!

  • 2 years ago

    Now, that is the kind of news that we all needed! I will be smiling about your mom's recovery all weekend while I ignore any and all other news! Love the photo, too. You have made me very happy-thanks!


    Also, please tell your mom that her nail polish is magnificent as is her smile.

  • 2 years ago

    Jo, what an uplifting read! Love the photos and the wonderful news. I have not posted very much over the last year or more. I just wanted to say I am so happy to read this and it is uplifting to all of us. Much love to you, your mom and your family!

  • 2 years ago

    Such a nice first thread to see!


    Very happy to read such a sweet update.

    Beautiful family.


  • 2 years ago

    Thank you for the update and beautiful photos jojoco! Just what I needed to read this Saturday morning. BEAUTIFUL ☘️


  • 2 years ago
    last modified: 2 years ago

    Ive been thinking about you and so happy to hear this

  • 2 years ago

    What a wonderful update.

    A process it has been, but it speaks testament to resiliency!

    You and your Mother both are beautiful!

  • 2 years ago

    Those smiles say it all !! What wonderful news. I couldn't be happier for all of you. Such a beautiful family too !!

  • 2 years ago

    Jo, so glad to see the wonderful health update and that photo is a keepsake-what a beautiful lady. Being able to get back to her summer place with family after all she's been thru has to be such a gift. Enjoy your time together.