Notes on helping elderly in the shower ...

last month

last modified: last month

My mom is 83 but doesn't really seem elderly -- she's in great shape, always busy, doing great physically. But she had to have rotator cuff repair surgery, and she can't raise her left arm, making it difficult to wash her hair. Her doctor and her physical therapist say it'll be a year until her shoulder is fully "her" again, so this isn't a short-term thing. We're both hoping that she'll be able to shower without help by the end of the summer.

Since a fair number of posts on this board have to do with aging-in-place, this post is about what's worked well for us over the last month -- most of this was accidental, but it might help some of you make decisions:

- Her walk-in shower is a standard size: 60x32? It used to be a builder-basic bath tub. Thankfully, she has no built-in bench. I've been entering the shower /standing behind her to wash her hair, and if she had a bench, I couldn't do that.

- My daughter suggested that I give her a small Ikea stool -- we call it a spider, and it's perfect. The seat is about 12" circular, which is fits well /is fine for her to sit upon. It's quite light, so she can move it with her good hand -- or can just kick it She put a washcloth on the seat. This could easily move in /out, if other people were using the shower.

- We placed the stool in the center of the shower, and she enters the shower /faces the faucet. Then I come in /stand behind her and wash her hair. The moveable stool is EVERYTHING.

- Her shower is on the right as you enter the bathroom /the faucets face the door. This was good luck because it allows her to enter the shower /face the back wall, which means I enter with a view of her back. It's a preserver of dignity.

- The hand-held shower wand is also EVERYTHING. She turns on the shower before she enters, and she holds the wand in her hand -- I ask for it when I'm ready, then hand it back to her while I'm shampooing.

- Something I wish we had: A hook or catch of some sort that could "hold" the shower wand for me. What we're doing works for us because she's "with it" and able to hand the wand back and forth to me. A mid-shower hook (in addition to the one at the end) would be a positive.

- Something that seems small but isn't: I am so glad she has storage at the front and back of the shower. I moved her shampoo /conditioner to the back side of the shower so I can reach it while standing behind her. If it were at the front, I'd have to touch her /get myself wet, and it'd be a loss of dignity for her if I had to reach around to her front. If I were building a shower, I'd like to have a shower-wide niche /shelf so the toiletries could be placed anywhere in the 60".

- I am very glad she has two rolling shower doors (instead of a hinged door). This allows her to enter on the end by the faucets .... while I use the other door and enter behind her.

- After I wash her hair, I leave the bathroom /stand outside the door while she washes the rest of her body. I leave a towel hanging over the back edge of the door, and she can pull it down for herself after she's done washing. I wouldn't mind adding a hook near the front end of the shower so she could hang a towel "just outside" and easily take it down when she's ready. She can't replace the towel on the drying rack after she showers, so she's been leaving it on the stool, and I go in and put it up to dry after.

- When she calls me, I enter the room holding up a big robe (again, for her dignity, it blocks her nakedness). She steps into it, and all is well. I have her clothes laid out on the bed /her chair turned. She sits down, and I stand behind the chair /hand her clothes "ready" like you would for a toddler.

Hope this helps someone.

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bpath

last month

Those are all great ideas. I think caregivers, whether family or employed, should write all the handbooks on caring for someone. We really need a new addition to the ”What to Expect…” series!

I like the bypass doors concept for such a shower. It really does add flexibility as well as, as you say, preserve dignity. The light stool, too. Is it adjustable in height? My parents were about 8”-10” different in height by the time this need arose for them, and needed different heights.

I’m sure there is a bracket out there for the handheld, so that it doesn’t spray where you don’t want it to when in place.

Tip from my grandmother’s caregiver: she put on her bathing suit at shower time! Grandmother was in a wheelchair so the caregiver needed to get ”up close and personal”

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Comments (8)

AC M
last month
This is so thoughtful, thank you so much!
We are building a house now, and my husband insisted that we jettison the shower bench drawn by the architect and instead plan to use a portable bench if we ever need one. Your experience with your mother shows that this is a great idea- for someone of any age. Many people get shoulder, arm, or hand injuries making it hard to bathe oneself.
I also love your tips about letting her preserve her modesty, making the process much easier on everyone.
Thank you!
Mrs Pete thanked AC M
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Mrs Pete
Original Author
last month
last modified: last month
Those are all great ideas. I think caregivers, whether family or employed, should write all the handbooks on caring for someone. We really need a new addition to the ”What to Expect…” series!

Great idea. I learned a ton caring for my grandmother, who lived 5 months shy of 100 years, but she never needed help showering /washing her hair. When you DO these things, you learn.

The light stool, too. Is it adjustable in height?

No, but that's a good point. We're using a stool we already had at home, and -- by chance -- it's the right height for me to help my mom. If I had tried the stool and found it inappropriate, I would've sought out something better -- the stool is EVERYTHING. If you buy hospital chairs, their legs are adjustable.

Grandmother was in a wheelchair so the caregiver needed to get ”up close and personal”

They make shower wheelchairs.

We are building a house now, and my husband insisted that we jettison the shower bench drawn by the architect and instead plan to use a portable bench if we ever need one.

Good choice.

I also love your tips about letting her preserve her modesty, making the process much easier on everyone.
Yes, and I've become better at it as we've done it.

My RN daughter worked home health for a while in college, and the #1 thing she did was help peope with bathing. She said a lot of elderly people are willing to pay a home health pro rather than have their children help them.

Off-topic, but the worst situation she described to me was a woman who was obese and could no longer enter her bathroom. My daughter had to lay a shower curtain on the floor, help the woman transition to a plastic chair, and give her a sponge bath -- you know you wouldn't feel fully clean with that situation.
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BeverlyFLADeziner
last month
Get a hair tray to wash her hair in the sink. Just don't let her neck rest against the plastic without a towel for cushion. Don't want her arteries to get pinched and cause a mini stroke.
Mrs Pete thanked BeverlyFLADeziner
tozmo1
last month
Wonderful tips. I may be misunderstanding the need, but there are many shower wand hooks you can add anywhere in the shower. Here's one: https://www.fergusonhome.com/product/summary/674914?uid=4290863&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=1674457813&utm_content=65373557019&utm_term=&gclsrc=aw.ds&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=1674457813&gclid=Cj0KCQjwr4jSBhCSARIsAOX1E-Jzs926dqsw5ZfH-GvQC-hojfiDfjzUDk4_yHQNpmYiuIlyH0cLv7QaAjMJEALw_wcB

Also, a wand that toggles between on and off is wonderful when assisting a bather.
Mrs Pete thanked tozmo1
Mrs Pete
Original Author
last month
Get a hair tray to wash her hair in the sink.

That's another way to go. We wouldn't have space to stand at her bathroom sink, but I could set her up at the kitchen sink. I'd need to find an appropriate chair that'd place her at the right height.

I may be misunderstanding the need, but there are many shower wand hooks you can add anywhere in the shower.

I didn't know this was a choice -- it'd be ideal, mounted in the middle of the shower. It'd allow me to "set down" the wand while I'm shampooing her hair. Her shower wand doesn't toggle on /off, so I'd mount it facing downward towards our feet. This really isn't an option at this point -- her shower is already installed, and I wouldn't risk puncturing the waterproofing. At this moment /with this surgery recovery, she is stable -- just can't lift that left arm -- and she is mentally "with me", so she can hold the wand. But absolutely, if I were installing a new shower, I'd go with these two things:

- A second shower mount /holder that a helper could use -- and this should be in the middle of the shower.

- A wand that cuts on /off.
tozmo1
last month
Not trying to talk you into anything you don't want, but there are shower wand hooks that are adhesive in wet conditions, no drilling needed. https://www.amazon.com/dp/B09VXM3HFH?lv=shuf&channelId=500&plpRedirect=mhFallback&th=1
Mrs Pete thanked tozmo1
Mrs Pete
Original Author
last month
Good information Tozmo1.

Thanks.

Notes on helping elderly in the shower ...

bpath

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Notes on helping elderly in the shower ...

bpath

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AC M

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