Someone you have been talking with has the impression that the sky is the limit budget-wise. Get a second and third opinion. Know anyone who knows a trusted carpenter? Start there.

Custom cabinets can be more expensive, but they don't always have to be. It really depends on what you are having made. Around here, we can sometimes get custom for less than even big box cabinetry, other times they are more. Really depends. Also, some custom cabinetry is great, some is junk. Same as prefabricated. What state are you in? Wondering if you are close enough that I could send you to one of our fabricators for comparable pricing.

I would buy the pre-built cabinets. Later on you can always just replace the doors to give it that high end custom look. How many cabinets does that $40,000 price tag give you ?

There is a big difference in custom vs. box. However box cabinets can be upgraded to all ply construction, dove tail drawers, etc. Also you can get fillers for in between cabinets to get the layout you need. Go to a LOCAL lumber yard and they will know how to design a kitchen the right way with premade cabinets.

Go back to your cabinetmaker and let him know you need to scale back. See what he/she would recommend to accomplish that. A lot of people don't want to tell a cabinet maker the budget so it won't get all spent. Actually the opposite is true. If you don't tell them your budget they will assume you are willing to pay for whatever they interpret your tastes to be. Be honest about the budget. Another thing you can do is take a look at the appliances you will be replacing. The money you spend on appliances tells the cabinetmaker a lot about what type of kitchen you will be expecting.

There are things they can do to make the costs more manageable.

Among the variables that affect cost are the type of drawer slides, whether the boxes use 1/2" or 3/4" material, the number of pullouts and drawers, the width of the shelves. The depth and height of the boxes, the molding(s) that will be applied. Also if there is a specialty plywood that will be laid up, the type of wood that will be used, the type of hinges, whether there will be glass doors or open cabinetry (because the inside of the cabinet will have to be finished the same as the doors of the cabinets. Interior cabinet box material comes with a factory coated will a clear finish), the material used in the drawer boxes and the cabinet boxes, even the finish price is variable depending on the step process and whether they are painted or stained, etc. The cost also depends on whether the cabinet you are asking for is a 'standard' type of cabinet (i.e. framed or frameless).

The 40K cabinet quote is barely 15% of the project, and it's not a bad quote at all for the amount of cabinets you are talking about. In fact, it's on the low side for a whole house project at a middle of the road quality level. For builder's level, yeah, high. But not for decent quality.

40K worth of cabinets isn't the problem. It's the other 85% of the project that's the problem. It usually IS more expensive to completely remodel an existing house than to use the same money to move to a larger house that already has the space that you need. I don't know what you expected. People that do the type of extensive home redos that you are planning usually live in a location that couldn't be duplicated by moving, or have a sentimental attachment to the home that outweighs the *expense* of the massive monetary outlay.

You might want to peruse Remodeling Magazine's annual report on average remodeling costs vs. the ''value'' that it adds back to your home. http://www.remodeling.hw.net/cost-vs-value/2014/ You'll notice that NO project gives you 100% of the expense back as added value. It always costs more than it adds. And, untill you SELL, you see zero of that ''investment''. It's all cash outflow. Pay attention to the average costs for the projects as well. 300K isn't at all a shocking quote for that amount of work.

Sorry, i must be cheapo or something. 40,000K for cabinets. Lets break it down into simpler terms. Lets's say you had 40 custom cabinets made and installed, then it equates to $1,000.00 per cabinet. Yikes!!! Still seems like much for me

And at only 20 cabinets the price doubles. Am i insane? What am i missing here ?

I've done plenty of *just* kitchens that had more than 40K worth of cabinets. This is a whole house. It's not unreasonable at all.

But then again, 80 cabinets at 40,000k, the price drops down to $500.00 per cabinet. That goes down somewhat easier. Increase that to 160 cabinets and we got $250.00 per cabinet. I can do this forever. :)))

Get a couple of different quotes and then see if the first was high or not. Just make sure you are quoting the same quality to compare apples to apples. Not plywood to particle board, etc.

BTW, you might want to read the in depth description of exactly what they are calling an average 55K kitchen remodel vs. an upscale 109K one.

http://www.remodeling.hw.net/cost-vs-value/major-kitchen-remodel?y=2014

http://www.remodeling.hw.net/cost-vs-value/major-kitchen-remodel-upscale?y=2014

The level of quality you are pay for will determine the final look and how long the cabinets will last and operate properly

Thanks so much guys we live in Oklahoma and have come to the conclusion it will be less expensive to tear down our old home and rebuild the way we want it and we are in the very first stages of doing research and this will be our first time dealing with any big home improvement projects or anything to do with a home for that matter . If you guys have any other suggestions ideas or money saving tricks please let me know we need all the help we can get .

Boy oh boy...that woodworking class in high school is really saving us a lot of money :)

I would take a trip a trip to Lowes. Look at their maple cabinets. Big box does not equate to painted pressboard. You can purchase quality.