That sounds like a horror story in the making. The local building codes office might be able to point you in a better direction. Eventually, the home will have to be inspected and it's starting to sound like it could end up not passing.

Agree with D C and additionally, he had to pull a permit to do windows. Did he? If not, he is in big trouble. If he did, yes, go down to your town hall and talk with the building inspector…that’s his job to inspect on permits pulled.

P S alone or not…you hold the checkbook.

Please post some photos of the issues so we can see what you see. ;)

Follow your gut and continue to micro-manage. If you work, then take a few days off to see what is going on. It sounds like sloppy work is being done. Iif you have not put too much money into the project then have someone else come in and give you an estimate......Good Luck.

oceanwalk2020:

I don't think you and your contractor are as far apart as you and others may. You have some differences, but none of the "Tear it out now!" kind. Keep an eye out, but lighten up a bit. This guy didn't get 5 stars from screwing people. Maybe you can start things in a more positive direction.

I too am widowed and have learned you have to be firm. You are NOT micromanaging - you are protecting your investment and making sure you get the quality work you deserve. Years ago a contractor switched materials on me and I didn't make waves and I regretted it the rest of the time I was in he house. It looked cheap and I hated it. Stand firm.

do not write him a check for anything else. why did he get cabs somewhere else? tell him no.

talk to him just like this, "Hey, last time I checked, I'm paying YOU to do what I want. That's your job. It's my job to make sure you don't bamboozle me and pocket extra money by doing poor work or switching out the products that I picked. If you don't like it, too bad. It's my home".

make sure everything is written down as to what you want and what is expected.

I repeat, do not write him a check unless everything is to your liking.

people can only walk over you if you let them. if it would help, have a male friend or relative with you when questioning him.

Make a list detailing each and every item, what it was supposed to be, and what it actually is. List each discussion, who said what, and date/time it took place. Take pictures!

My experience with a contractor, get the expectations spelled out as part of the contract. Many remodels are done on a pay per stage basis. Meaning, certain specifics need to be completed correctly prior to a payment being released to the contractor. The contractor should NEVER have changed the cabinets or anything else you choose without a specific discussion and authorization from you. This is your house and you are paying him. I agree with the suggestions to get another contractor quote, check permits, and especially, No More Pay for Incorrect work.

The comment about your late husband may be correct. Yes, there are some contractors that will try to take advantage of women. Perhaps a male friend or family member can come in and back you up. It could help provide you support in dealing with the contractor and give you a second person to back you up regarding contractor expectations. Just hang in there. You can get through this, you are stronger than you think, and you don't have to do it all on your own.

Without written design specs, and written product specs, incorporated into a written contract, a contractor pretty much has carte balance to substitute an "substantially equivalent'' material. This is where you look to your designer as Project Manager to step in and run interference with the contractor.

Unfortunately not everyone has the luxury to afford a designer.

At this stage your communication with contractor needs to be firm. Do you have a written contract with him? How much have you paid? Do not pay him anymore till you are satisfied with his answers. Saying that you are micro-managing is not right. Not right to say you are picky either. It's your money after all! Practice saying: These were not the cabinets I chose. Why did you install these? The window frames are crocked. Pls. fix.

Installing cabinets on top of dust is not wrong, just lazy on their part, since toe-kick will cover the dust. BTW, do post some pictures so we can see what you are saying.

To my earlier comment I will add a suggestion. During my last remodel, I made a list of every single fixture, door, paint color, flooring, etc that I had chosen. It included source, item number, cost, color, brand, where it was going in the house, etc. Anything needed that was not on the list my contractor selected (this was basic but critical stuff like drywall, flooring underlayment, fasteners, etc.) Over the course of the remodel the list sometimes changed of course. This was kept in a google doc so both my contractor and I could see the latest version at all times. It was a huge help in facilitating communication, and also protected me from any disagreements such as your cabinets. It might be a good idea to have something like that to work from.

I'm currently working on a house that I will be moving into after doing others for sale and rent. I have to keep reminding my partner that he can be more casual about choices because he doesn't have to live with any mistakes. i will have years to remember all the issues while he will be busy working on another project. Sometimes you just have to put your foot down and say that it is your house and you have the final say on decisions.

Some contractors do seem to make a practice out of being difficult and criticizing the home owners. There's a thin line between being forceful and bullying and I've seen contractors run roughshod over customers. I suggest that you have an informal status meeting with the contractor such as first thing in the morning so you can discuss concerns and expectations. If possible, find another person who can also be there to back up your comments and make sure the discussion points are clarified. It's helpful if that person has experience in remodels but, more importantly, they need to be brisk and businesslike.

You aren't there to argue, rather you are there to keep the project on track. Focus on the desired outcome and expect quality work. It can be difficult to keep the conversations positive when all you seem to talk about are the problems you see. Compliment something every time you talk about the project, even if it seems lame to you. "I really like ...." or "I appreciate that you did ..." You may get an opportunity to say that you would hate for such a small problem as this one detail to reflect poorly on the overall successful project. It may not seem to be any different than mentioning the problem directly but it keeps the focus positive by telling them you have noticed how many things are right about the project.