Architect or Zombie?
Hunched over a drafting table through the wee hours, subsisting on coffee and esoteric knowledge ... architects may not be what you think
Let me be clear. I'm not saying that architects are the living dead. That would be ridiculous. Of course architects are not zombies. That would be like saying that Abraham Lincoln was a tall dark, vampire slayer, which he totally was.
I mean, architects don't wander aimlessly toward a town, in loosely formed packs, mumbling incoherently, waving their arms around. They are not slowly reanimating and reimagining forms and ideas from long-dead architects and designers. No, no. Architects are not darkly clad, pale visages of incomprehensible rage. Ennui maybe, but not rage. Architects do not lumber — although granted, houses are typically constructed of lumber.
And yes, architects do seem like they never sleep, and they're pale and weary and angsty and smell oddly of arabica beans and disappointment. But do they plan to feast on our collective intellectual shortcomings to nourish their relentless hunger for knowledge and brains?!
I'll be over in the corner of the cellar holding a baseball bat if you need me.
I mean, architects don't wander aimlessly toward a town, in loosely formed packs, mumbling incoherently, waving their arms around. They are not slowly reanimating and reimagining forms and ideas from long-dead architects and designers. No, no. Architects are not darkly clad, pale visages of incomprehensible rage. Ennui maybe, but not rage. Architects do not lumber — although granted, houses are typically constructed of lumber.
And yes, architects do seem like they never sleep, and they're pale and weary and angsty and smell oddly of arabica beans and disappointment. But do they plan to feast on our collective intellectual shortcomings to nourish their relentless hunger for knowledge and brains?!
I'll be over in the corner of the cellar holding a baseball bat if you need me.
Why are they all holding out their arms and chanting, "Mies. Mieeeeees! MMMMIIIIEEEEEESSS!!!!"?
They just keep moaning "die-ametrically" and "die-chotomy" and "die-dactic." What are they trying to say?
Seriously, it's almost clear. You should really get some sun. Unless you're actually a vampire, in which case we need Abraham Lincoln, and he's dead, so we actually need to reanimate him — but he was a lawyer, not an architect, so we're screwed. Where was Thomas Jefferson buried again? Get the truck and a shovel.
Grab the T-square. It's the most lethal tool.
It smells like French roast and unemployment in here.
The end is near. Really? A tie?
Well, obviously. I think shopping malls are designed by engineers.
Aw, that's sweet, actually. Aim for the head.