Painting a fireplace is a great solution. Not only is it cost effective compared to other options but is fairly easy way to make a dramatic difference in a room. For the color, I would choose something more neutral to tie in the corresponding rooms.
You could also use a larger profile tile as the fire surround. A larger tile(12 x 24) tends to be less expensive then using a smaller profile tile, but not always so be sure to compare prices. There is also less grout and cleanup to deal with when using a larger tile.
Hopefully this helps. Good luck!

The room seems very crowded to me so hard to get a feel for the space if you are going to be there for 10 yrs. spend a little money and do it right it will pay for it self . I actually think it suits what I can see of the furnishings.

Great idea - do you have a way to send a photo of something similar to my fireplace showing it painted? I did take out the small table and rocker from the front of the fireplace to open it up more. The adjoining room which is the kitchen is the yellow/gold as shown in the back of the book cases - actually it is poster board that I painted and placed in front of the wood to make it flow more from family room to kitchen. But that can easily be removed and then left with the same wood finish as the cabinets have. We are going to repaint the kitchen as well - so does not matter if that color matches or not anymore. Thanks again for your comments!

I was actually talking of painting the walls not the fireplace right now . If you declutter and paint some lighter tones you might not mind the fireplace and then if you want to paint it then you can.

I think Your fireplace would be updated if you painted the walls of your room a light to medium shade of taupe, the woodwork, shelves and fireplace bricks a soft white (not a stark glaring one, more like cream). Do the mantle either expresso brown or black. I agree with de cluttering. Sometimes, it may be hard to get rid of things you have had for a long time, but your room ends up looking glamorous and updated. De cluttering makes me feel about my home the way the way I feel about myself when I successfully lose a few pounds. If you still want more change, consider a new fireplace screen, so much easier than changing the surround.

P.S. The neutral walls would make the other colors in your room pop instead of fighting them.

I would paint the fireplace white or cream and change the gold paint color to something more neutral.