Walmart--major laughs!

21 years ago

This came from my brother and I just had to share!

15 Things to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse is

taking his/her sweet time...

1. Pick up condom packages & randomly put them in

peopleÂs carts when they arenÂt looking

2. Set all the alarm clocks in house wares to go off

at 5 minute intervals.

3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor to the

restrooms.

4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an

official tone, ÂCode 3 in house wares,ÂÂ and see what

happens.

5. Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of

M&MÂs on layaway.

6. Move a ÂCAUTION Â WET FLOORÂ sign to a carpeted

area.

7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell

other shoppers youÂll only invite them in if they

bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to

cry and ask "Why canÂt you people just leave me alone?

9. Look right into the security camera and use it as a

mirror while you pick your nose.

While handling guns in the hunting department ask

the clerk if he knows where the antidepressants are.
Dart around the store suspiciously while loudly

humming the theme from ÂMission ImpossibleÂ.
In the auto department practice your Madonna look

using different size funnels.
Hide in the clothing rack and when people browse

through say ÂPICK ME! PICK ME!Â
When an announcement comes over the loud speaker

assume the fetal position and scream ÂNO! ItÂs those

voices again!

And last but not least,

Go into a fitting room and yell real loud ÂWeÂre

out of toilet paper in here!Â

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Comments (7)

mamacotti
21 years ago
Cute...however I don't let dh go shopping with me if I think he's gonna get bored. I learned my lesson a few years ago in Dillard's, while taking my sweet time finding a few Christmas gifts, then couldn't find him...I finally see the nut standing on a platform right next to me, posing like a manniquin! I screamed, then started laughing so hard...and he just stayed there,not even cracking a smile! I ended up looking like the idiot, so I just walked out of the store...

Suzie
Maggie_J
21 years ago
Fun list, Carla - Let me know when you plan to try them out and I'll fly down to Texas to watch.

As for you, Suzie! That is tooooooo funny! And I thought YOU were the cool, zany one in your marriage. Is there more to the story? What did dh do when you walked out? Did anyone notice the "living doll" getting off his perch?

Thanks for the big silly smile on my face, you two. Talk about birds of a feather....
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donna37
21 years ago
Not gonna let DH see that, he already has crazy ideas. One time, when grocery shopping and my back was turned, he put a gallon jug of wine in my cart and then when someone came down the aisle started saying "what you mean buying wine when the kids don't even have milk?". Nearly brained him right there.
Another time he slipped a can of foot powder into an unsuspecting man's cart. The man only had 3 or 4 items in his cart and was ready to check out. This was at a store where the clerk unpacked the cart, and when she put that foot powder on the counter, he got upset and told her that wasn't his and I think he tho't she slipped it in there.
Another time we had been in a little variety store and I had bought a pair of sandals. Well, the following day we went back for something and I was wearing the sandals and as we passed the sandal display he started saying "Donna, where are your shoes, what are you doing with those sandals?" I just turned and left the store and he stood there laughing like a maniac. I couldn't prove that I had bought them the day before, no receipt with me. Asked him later if he was trying to get me thrown in jail.
This was in our much younger days and he was feeling ornery. Has settled down now, usually stays in truck and naps while I shop, thank goodness.
Donna
mamacotti
21 years ago
Well, it's official now. DH is not ALLOWED to shop with me anymore.

Last night, we bought groceries on our way home from the farm. As the guy began to sack them, he asked the usual question "Paper or plastic?"

DH's answer? "Doesn't matter...I'm bi-sacksual."
TexasWeed
21 years ago
Thats funny! As you get older you will Love his humor!!!! Or mabe not! hehe Sounds like a fun guy!
mamacotti
21 years ago
Yeah, he is pretty funny...sometimes. Other times he just thinks he is. Life never gets boring, tho!
catherinet
21 years ago
lol Mamacotti..........I like that one!!