Old Butch

I am in the fertilized egg business.

I have several hundred young layers (hens), called Âpullets, and ten roosters to fertilize the eggs.

I kept records, and any rooster not performing went into the soup pot and was replaced.

This took a lot of time, so I bought some tiny bells and attached them to my roosters.

Each bell had a different tone, so I could tell from a distance which rooster was performing.

Now, I could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report by just listening to the bells.

My favorite rooster, old Butch, was a very fine specimen, but one morning I noticed old ButchÂs bell hadnÂt rung at all!

When I went to investigate, I saw the other roosters were busy chasing pullets, bells-a-ringing, but the pullets, hearing the roosters coming, would run for cover.

To my amazement, old Butch had his bell in his beak, so it couldnÂt ring.

HeÂd sneak up on a pullet, do his job, and walk on to the next one.

I was so proud of old Butch, I entered him in the Renfrew County Fair, and he became an overnight sensation among the judges.

The result was the judges not only awarded old Butch the "No Bell Piece Prize," but they also awarded him the "Pulletsurprise," as well.

Clearly old Butch was a politician in the making. Who else but a politician could figure out how to win two of the most coveted awards on our planet by being the best at sneaking up on the unsuspecting populace and screwing them when they werenÂt paying attention.

Vote carefully this year, the bells are not always audible.