Bear upset the bin
compost must now be buried
worms are so well fed.

So it's green not brown
Does it like Bread in Compost?
I really hope so

I'm too lazy to
micromanage compost piles.
Let them rot in peace.

Claire

Go turn the damn pile
Jim. You made it too heavy
with all that grass, dear.

Yep, I said "bring kelp"
My kids brought a big bagful
'Post critters say "burp"

Spiders, ants and wasps
make a creepy, crawly pile.
Halloween in June.

Claire

Is it correct to
Crook ones pinkie when serving
Tea to the earthweb?

Lazy cold compost
Takes a year to decompose
Still gives me black gold

No need to crook one's
pinkie, but one must use the
proper compost fork.

Claire

What would Emily Com-
Post dictate when serving tea?
Worry way too much

Mother Nature makes
composting look sooo easy
Old pros can do that

She's been at this gig
For countless eons of time
Watch her well and learn

simplify [times three]
observe, listen and practice
Her subtle lessons

Dont sweat the small
stuff. Couldn't be easier or
harder; or neither

I suspect Mother
Nature is somewhat amused
by compost wackos.

All this talk about
"greens" and "browns" and UCG's
is beside the point.

She smiles, though, and thanks
us for feeding her good soil.
She knows we mean well.

But she rolls her eyes
at all our calculations.
"Pile it up and wait."

Claire

haiku thing is fun
Starting to count sylables
It is easier than

Balancing comp mix
For instance can you tell brown
From green which is which?

OK calm down, Barb
Tis not that complicated
Thirty C, one N

Not complicated?
Are you a simple clownster?
Worse yet, charlatan?

World peace easier
Than unanimity on
Composting methods

Be nice, composters
The Blind Men and The Elephant
Were adamant, too

Back to etiquette.
Used paper coffee cups are
best (UPCC).

UPCC are
often found in UCG.
Also good for tea.

Claire

Come gather and share
compost tea ceremony.
First step to world peace.

Claire

Claire, ditto your words
From your mouth unto God's ear
Serve comp tea all 'round

Get'n way, way too
Serious. Time to aerate
Haiku versary

Versary, you say?
That word in dictionary?
Or haikuary?

In holes freshly dug
Black gold shoveled in deep
My Tomatoes home

Berryman with his
Bread 'posting grin, twits anapat
Eeew! rotting bread

Fie! Berry 'm lad,
Speak'n now like yer mother:
Not too old to spank

Good clean fun ya say?
Sure and begorrah I knew
Ye meant no meaness

Bits found in back threads:
My compost has flies, it is
Moldy, skinky, cold

It's too wet, and worse
It is not breaking down at all
What's a quick fix?

And your response is:
YOUGOTTABEKIDDINGME
Smiling all the while

Cold, cold compost pile
doesn't care what people say.
Leave it be, it's fine.

Claire

Rot! All ye blighters
Leaves, trash, trimmings and what not
Rot . . . to resurrect

5-7-5

Hot, hot coffee grounds!
Fresh from Starbucks filters!
Now pile can get warm.

Claire

You see the new thread?
Compost Limericks. YIKERS!
Can't rhyme moon and joon

Only limericks
I've heard would make a sailor
blush a rosey red

Nothing ventured
Might as well try the rhym'n
What rhymes with compost?

The purists opine
Some haiku just doggerel
Yours Fifi, mine Spot?

Those that like fun things
Care not those that create limits
To pleasure others find.
hortster

'Maters, 'taters, corn
Lettuce, okra, kholrabi
growth secret? Compost

Is compost really
As great as they say it is?
Answer: Jack's beanstalk

Tell me another tale
Wasn't born yesterday morn
Rot turns to black gold?

trash to elixer?
How long has this been happ'n?
Since earth created

"What rhymes with compost?"
Mostly what I hear is "boast".
"My pile is better!"

Claire

Kitchen compost pail
is full and redolent (it stinks).
Time to trot outside.

Claire

Rotters think alike
My garbage bucket reeks from
CA to MA and back?

Yesterday's bucket
'Bout knocked me on my bum
Comp pile said "Merci"

My 'post talks to me?
Won't admit to just anyone
But fellow 'poster

Won't think its crazy
Further more, I talk right back
Keep that secret OK?

Oh Claire, bite your tougue,
"My pile is better" ain't boast'n
If it is the truth

'Cause we must admit
Nature deserves the credit
For every comp pile

One must walk a line
between "My pile is better"
and "MY PILE IS BEST!".

Claire

Now I've seen it all
Soldier composts when deployed
Wacko to the max!

Here is a link that might be useful: Soldier brings composting know-how to Kandahar

A population
Denser than New Yawk Citee
In my small back yard

Bacteria and
Fungi by tens of thousands
Create uber-post

Laughing too hard to
Send much deserved kudos
To rhym'n 'posters

Compost limericks
Reveal that composters are
Faciley funny

Content to be mere
Lurking composting haikuer
Talk'n trash is fun

Small boy visiting
gazed scornfully at my pile -
proclaimed it "litter".

Claire (sobbing)

Claire, teach that small boy
How to apply his own "gold".
Whole new attitude!

Small boy goes home soon
to land where tidiness rules.
Best not to corrupt.

For now is enough
to dump shredded newspaper -
compost can be fun.

His father told him
that compost is "recycling",
small boy accepts that.

Claire

Daughter dubs my pile
Of composting organics
A rat restaurant

Cafe de rotting stuff
The best garbage in our town
Tended by whacko

Break hardwood leaves down
Brew into nutritious tea
Elephant ears, "Mmmmmm"

Peat moss, compost and
Expanded shale will fill my
New Square Foot Garden

Compost pile awakes
as winter's grasp is broken.
Decay runs rampant.

Claire

Layers green and brown
Turn it, feed it 'til it steams
Wonderful black gold

In Mickey D's with
my compost pail. Customers
look on with pity

In Mickey D's with
my compost pail. Customers
look on with *envy*!

bwaaa haaa haaa haaa!

In Starbuck's hoping
for grounds but pail is empty.
Someone got there first!

Claire (disgruntled)

The Cult of Compost:
A righteousness of rotting.
Gods? The very worms!

Winter's cold abates

Soil food web, sluggish, murmurs

Let us make compost

Microbial poop

Nutrient rich, organic

Food for the plants