We are in Texas, so our situation may be very different from yours. When we moved here from upstate NY, we were completely lost as to what many plants were, the soil, bugs, etc. Here is what we did, and we had "garden-tour" vegetable and flower gardens within three years.
1. We found a good nursery that specialized in native plants. We asked questions, listened to the owner, and read recommended books.
2. We went to classes (free) at an arboretum, and also at nurseries that offered Saturday gardening classes.
3. We read. We read books, pamphlets from our county agricultural extension agent, and hand-outs at "green" events like Earth Day at a nearby botanical garden.
4.We met and profited by the experience of other gardeners. Don't worry about asking the wrong question. Gardeners LOVE to talk about gardening!
Gardening shouldn't be overwhelming or stressful for you. Relax, do what you can, ask around about classes/lectures/demonstrations and enjoy your garden. That's the point of the whole thing!