Finding comfort in the garden

20 years ago

Although my garden is still young and unwieldy, still very far from a comforting retreat. I have been finding lots of comfort there. The labor of clearing brush and weeding has seemed to give me some strength when now I feel like I have none and am completely helpless.

My Husbands little brother died tragically on the 23rd of last month in a car accident. He was so young only 23 and one of the kindest people I have ever known. We had been at his parentÂs house for a couple of days and the yard had been thoroughly neglected. Apron returning it seemed so daunting to even step outside in the heat but the past couple of days I have found a sense of calm and distraction in working there.

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Comments (6)

babywatson
20 years ago
Annette, I am so sorry to hear of your and your husband's loss. I hope you find peace in your garden. Sometimes plants and being among life can be our best therapy.

Hugs,

Mary
oscarthecat
20 years ago
Cleaning up a garden that has for one reason or another been neglected gives you a real sense of accomplishment and peace. Steve in Baltimore County
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lynn_d
20 years ago
Hugs and healing thoughts for you and yours, Annette. You are right, it makes me feel closer and connected, brings a comfort. I turned to the gardens and our koi pond after 9/11, the United flight crashed near here and I worked at the crash sight almost daily. Feeding the fish, working in the gardens and nurturing the earth helped me heal.
vagardengirl
20 years ago
The earth certainly has a healing power. I am so sorry for the loss you and your extended family have experienced. Just know that the garden and the seasons will enable you to heal.
cfmuehling
20 years ago
As usual, I'm catching up. Annette, I'm so sorry to hear about your BIL. It is difficult to understand such a short life. I hope you all think about him every day, and as time softens the grief, you remember things to laugh about.

After our fire in December, I would wander about my yard, trying to weed, or winterize more, or as spring came, mulch some, etc. I admit to feeling like I was wading through deep mud. Actually, about everything felt tht way. The futility of the repeated actions was hard to get past. I'd see my kitties who would sleep in the plants, stalk bugs, or sit with their backs against me while I weeded, or General, our Golden, who would lie close by and pant. I still tear up thinking how much I miss them.

Anyway, as we came closer to moving back, it felt a little better. As the red plants came into bloom, my spirits rose, too. My gardens are showing neglect this year, but I know now how important they are to me, vs previously when I was only seeing and enjoying the results. I can watch the process now and appreciate that.

Whether I find comfort in them or not, I'm not sure. I know I'm glad they're there and require attention. I am still pleased and proud when I get something the way I want it and it thrives. I know I have a heightened awareness of the renewal of life in the spring!

My thoughts are with you,
Christine
faerieannette
Original Author
20 years ago
Thank you all for your kind words and sympathy. This is so hard.

If anyone is interested in lookingI made a memorial page for him.

http://www.myspace.com/patrickhoran