I want a vine that doesn't need watering, fertilizing, or pruning, has gobs of flowers all year every day (with fragrance), and no insects or dead wood to be culled...but

I'll settle for something that winds its way up a palm tree (still with the flowers though). I've tried passiflora but have had it with the caterpillars eating the thing so it looks shabby. Ideally, I'd like something not quite so bushy so the queen palm trunk can show through. We're a little too cold for Mandevilla....that would've been ideal.