I'm probably the worst person to ask, because I definitely march to my own beat! I've never cared what the 'Joneses' were up to; as a matter of fact, I take a certain perverse pride in NOT following the crowd. As a result, our house will have what my wife and I feel we need, want, and can afford. I'd be happiest if people thought my house was 100+ years old. My main concern is building a sturdy, energy efficient home that's comfortable to live in. Our house will be less than half the size of the average new house, and it's unlikely there will be granite in it anywhere. I actually prefer formica counter tops for their economy and easy maintenance. Our current house has painted beadboard cabinet doors that I made and my wife painted. Simple, cheap, sturdy, and if they get banged up- just throw on another coat of paint. Now I see them in all of the magazines. I guess I'm a trend-setter after all! Metal roofs and fiber cement siding have become very popular as well, but I'll use them for their durability as much as their old-fashioned charm. I know everyone is concerned about re-sale value, and that certainly is important, depending on where you build, and how long you think you'll be there. Our property is way out in the woods, so it will be a unique property regardless of what we build there. If I were building in a typical subdivision, I'd be more careful about matching the comps.

Peer pressure is one thing, but ensuring that you outfit the house to it's value is another. As you say in your post, you are hoping it's your forever house but you never know...transfers happen all the time. Basically, you want to make sure your house is not the most expensive in the neighborhood, but also not the least expensive. If the other houses in the neighborhood all have granite, hardwoods & travertine tile throughout, & professional style appliances, your house will seem awfully "cheaped out" if it has formica, linoleum and white Hot Point appliances. Now there is certainly nothing wrong with the lower end products, but you just don't put them in a high end house. You don't want your house to look like you could just barely afford to build the outer shell and didn't have any money left for an interior that fits the area. Install what you like, but within the appropriate price point for your neighborhood.

Now with that being said, let's say you're building in a middle class neighborhood where hardwoods in the main living areas, carpet in the bedrooms, ceramic tile floors in the baths, less expensive "granite alternative" countertops and mid level appliances (GE Profile in white price range) are standard. There is nothing wrong with upgrading here and there: i.e. granite in the kitchen, upgrade appliance finish to stainless, hardwood in master bedroom vs. carpet. Little upgraded touches here and there are what will give your home that extra character that the other homes in your neighborhood do not have. (And make your home more appealing to potential buyers if you ever need to sell.)

For instance, our house has hardwoods in the main living areas, cultured marble sinktops & ceramic tile & cast iron tubs in the baths, solid maple cabinets with natural stain & upgraded appliances (Maytag, GE & KitchenAid). Most of the other houses in our neighborhood have carpet throughout the house, formica sinktops with inexpensive drop in sinks & tub inserts in the baths, white cabinets made of some sort of fake wood, and no name low end appliances. Even with these upgrades that add a wealth of character to the house, ours is still not the most expensive house in the neighborhood. It is worth more than the "standard" houses, but less than the "completely upgraded" houses which is right where you want to be.

So in the end, I recommend choosing what fits your taste but keep it within the realm of what would be reasonable for your neighborhood.

Ah, I can relate to your dilema.

For me though, we are out in the country. So no comparables around.

I am sinking alot of money into the areas that will never be seen by anyone. Things mentioned in a previous post like energy efficient stuff, like a $50k geothermal system, spray foam insulation coming in around 12k, etc.

Fortunately for me, I dont need high end finishes, although they are very lovely. But I will try to use the lesser expensive alternative when possible, such as forego the real hardwood for laminate.

I am opting for more square footage that is energy efficient. If I do every build again, like in 20 years or so, it will be way less square footage and then I might opt for higher end finishes. But for now, this home will be solid and comfortable and no one will have to worry about ruining anything high dollar. I also figure that some of those high dollar interior finishes are things I can update somewhere down the road. Like if you were ever to sell in future, maybe then you might want to make some upgrades but for now, be comfortable and make it pleasing to you and your family, the ones that will be living in it every day. jmo :-)

I agree with both of the above, but we are at the stage where we are building more like flgargoyle - deep in woods, outside will be rustic - inside more modern with vaulted ceilings, open plan.

Back to the original question, if you need to use granite, look for products in more mid-range, maybe closeouts, all counters do not have to match, but everything should have the same feel of quality. You can find cabinets which look expensive in all price ranges, look for inspiration and maybe add some ''bling'' with hardware. High-end appliances can be found as ''seconds'' with minor dents which are out of view when installed. Find lots of pictures to inspire, take pictures of details you want, then go bargain-hunting. Put the money in solid construction and in areas where it will be noticed.

Overall, enjoy your build, don't stress over it - it is just a house in the end!

You need thick skin to build what you want. We have a 3,200 sf house in a high end country subdivison. Our house is the smallest and the simplest, but we clean our house ourselves and so we made it easy to clean. We don't have any natural stone in our house and we put in fiberglass showers, light silestone countertops, other things that would make the house low maintenance--unlike any other house in our subdivision. I don't like to cook, so didn't put in high end serious appliance either, but just put in nice kitchenaid appliances. I don't have any regrets, but sometimes I do feel a little defensive, especially when my neighborhood bookclub meets at my house, but that passes quickly and we do get a lot of compliments on our house too. We're in our 50s, so it was probably easier for us to be practical at this stage of our life than it would have been if we were younger.

I don't and have never even considered peer pressure for any decisions I make. I do not wear the latest trend in fashions or care what the Jones' family has in their house. I might admire their choices, but would never feel envy or threatened.

This is our last house so we didn't build it for resale value, we built it for our comfort. We didn't shop for the highest end products or the lowest. We put things in the house that we feel were complimentary to the style of the house and our day to day living in the house and don't care what people think when they hear we only paid $1.19 a sq. foot for our bathroom tile or that we have painted wood porches, not composite ones. We tried, and I think, accomplished balancing things out so the lower end materials are complimented by the higher end ones.

I like that my house is unique in that we didn't go out and buy all the latest high end materials to put in the house. We are 2 adults and some pets. When we realized that high end laminate flooring was more practical than hardwood, we went with it. I feel like this choice was smart and it just so happens to be beautiful.

Instead of installing high end Daltile or other name brand tile in the kitchen and baths we went with a low end tiles from Lowe's and Home Depot. I've had realtors who sell million dollar homes come into my house and make comments like "I've never seen such a beautiful and well thought out home."

We do not have granite in the baths, instead we have inexpensive vanities with box store marble tops. In the guest bath we have an antique dresser that has been converted into a vanity. Very inexpensive, but very beautiful. However, we do have granite in the kitchen for the very reason that putting laminate would have not looked quite right in our eyes. So we splurged on the granite, but purchased one of the most inexpensive ones, Gallo Ornamental. Again, we didn't sacrifice beauty, but saved money. We installed a pre made laminate counter in the laundry room that looks like the Gallo. Some people would shudder at the thought of laminate counters in the laundry, but for me, putting expensive granite in the laundry room is just ridiculous. Even if I could afford it, I would not see the need for it. I mean, how durable does a counter need to be to fold clothes on? Right? Yet in the same laundry room I have top of the line washer and dryer and even splurged on a built in ironing board. Oh, I might mention the formica sits on box store thermafoil cabinets.

I've always been frugal, most of the time out of necessity, but it has taught me being frugal when you don't even need to be, can have a wonderful and sometimes surprising outcome.

The fact is our house is the smallest (1900) sq. ft. in our entire sub division. Most of the houses are 3,000 ft and larger. I live across from a 2 story that is 7,800 sq. ft and I'm sure their choices in building materials are nothing like the ones in my house, but that doesn't bother me.

I know my house is beautiful and well built. We feel good knowing we could make it that way by doing it "our way" and not building it to compare to others.

If you haven't seen photo's of my house, you can go back and search this forum for past "It's (month), how is your build coming?" threads.

It's taken us 6 years, from clearing the land to DH finally completing the build. We sacrificed and at times thought we'd never make it to the end, but we did. We're happy to say we did it our way and that has proven to be the best way.

I'll be glad to post any other photo's if you'd like to see them. We are waiting till the weather is cooler before moving in, so excuse the photo's that still show building materials lying around.

You have to live in your house. You build it to suit your taste and lifestyle. Trust in yourself, but if you need some reassurance on your choices, check in with this forum or the decorating forum and some nice people will be glad to give their help and opinions.

Good luck and I look forward to watching your progress.

You need to build YOUR house YOUR way. Don't go outlandish with some really off the wall decisions, but for the most part just do what makes you happy especially if this is your forever home! Just do keep in the back of your mind though....you never know what circumstances in life may force you to move. Even though you are planning on this being your forever home, it might not be.

Do what you want. Build the house well for efficiency (energy and living space). If you have to sell, someone can upgrade to the finishes they like. Who knows, by the time you sell, any appliances you put in now might be at the end of their lives! If you put in granite countertops and sell 20 years from now, who knows what the "in" thing will be? If you sell 2 years from now, maybe the buyer won't like that color. Don't let "peer pressure" keep you from having the home *you* want.

(I'm also out in the country, live in "high-end" town but access is through a small subdivision in another town with houses 1000sf smaller and on "builder's acres", so even though my laminate countertops fit in with the "neighborhood", my house is the most expensive, and our taxes are twice what the "neighbors'" are, given higher rate in the town we actually live in. It's our "forever" home b/c it would be too hard to sell - my kids are bused to different school than other kids in the neighborhood.)

Thanks to all of you for your replies. I have acutally wanted to put in the engineered flooring. We had the laminate in our old house and I loved it. I know some people can tell the difference but I don't think one person who walked in the door of our old house new it was laminate or should I say veneer. DH wants solid wood in this house. Why? I don't know. I have decided to go with the matte cultured marble and integrated sink because I like it just as much as the granite and for all I know granite could be passe in the next year. Its just you never know whats around the corner. Its not that I want to keep up with the Jones' I just worry that if something happens and we have to sell for some terrible reason my house will not be up to the "standards" of all the surrounding homes as far as resale.

Its that "resale" mentality thats hard to overcome, after all of these years of thinking of your home not as a place to live but an investment. Times have changed.
If we have to sell we probably won't get the money we've put into it anyway so at this point I'm just going to put in what I like. I talked to a realtor yesterday about this and she pretty much said what all of you have. She said it takes such a short time for things to become dated in real estate that its best to just put in what you like. So I'm going to try to adopt that philosophy and just hope for the best. Once again thanks to all for your reasonableness :)

Build what you WANT, but when you end up selling it you'll WANT more money for it, so you have to consider resale value.

Yeah, but since she has no idea when they're going to sell (no plans to sell "forever" home), how do you plan now for resale value? I say in the design and construction, not the finishes, which could have to be replaced/renewed one or more times before selling.

In month 3 of building and feel it too. Our friends in other subdivision in our town have much higher end homes with everything top of the line, but we simply can not afford that and don't think we would be happy with a home so high end that you are afraid to "live" in it without scratching something expensive. It sounds to me like you know exactly what you want to do in your own home i.e. cultured marble and gas fireplace. I would do what makes you happy. Don't follow the crowd in your subdivision, in all honesty not a lot of people like masonary fireplaces anyway, so for re-sale you might be the only house with a gas fireplace and that might be attractive to buyers (not that you are going to sell anyway). We on the other hand are doing a high end energy efficient wood burning sealed unit fireplace but only because we want to use the heat in the winter to heat the home. We are the ONLY ones not doing gas believe it or not and most people think we are odd but we are doing what we want because we have to pay the bills in our own home :) As far as granite in the bathrooms don't worry about it, if you are doing it in the kitchen then that is saying enough. If you must keep up with the neighborhood then just put granite in the powder room where guests use the most and stick with your original game plan for the other bathrooms. If you wanted granite in those bathrooms originally then you would have had it in your head long before you saw the neighbor's homes. It sounds to me like you already knew what you wanted. Just try to be unique and find your "own" style that makes you different than the rest. If you assessment is a little bit lower than your neighbor's homes so what. At least your taxes will be more affordable and you already said you are not selling so do what you can afford.

I think peer pressure is a large part of what got us into the current economic debacle we are facing. Many of us are more vulnerable than we'd like to admit to neighborly competition and I applaud your honesty. Too many people out there wanted to buy/build homes they couldn't afford to look good or feel better about themselves. Those mortgages were then sold and- voila!

Stick with your plan- forget about 'em and enjoy your new home.

Unless you are building one of many duplicates in a consistantly seller's market neighborhood, there is NO way you can build for a totally unknown future owner.

Quality is the best investment, not whatever the latest fad-trend of today. The only time to consider the neighbors opinion is when you look over the neighborhood --- building a sharply opposite design isn't recommended. That is: a ranchstyle in a neighborhood of colonials isn't advisable, nor is the reverse. However, true quality upgrades are usually profitable in future sales: extra insulation with the heat/AC bills to prove its worth; roofing that is better than the climate-demands; and a well-planned use of space are what will sell the house in the future. Fad-trends are quite often not only not influential in today's market, but definite turn-offs a decade later.

gardengirl - what did you decide to do?