Ann, I think we are twins!
I had planned to get lots of cleaning/organizing done today, but guess what? I am on the internet! In fact I have taken quite a few breaks to surf the net, play Words With Friends, lay down for a few minutes, etc.

My husband is like yours (except for the dishwasher thing), and never in our 28 years of marriage has complained about the way that I keep (or don't keep) house.

In my defense, however, I did organize a couple of kitchen cabinets and did 3 loads of laundry this morning. I think that I have a slight case of ADD. I am very easily distracted and have a hard time staying on task.

I think you'd have to be nuts to like housework! I know a fanatic and I wouldn't want her house for the world. I'm uncomfortable being in her house for fear of leaving a stray skin cell behind! I seem to recall someone who cleans everything with a clean swiffer after she has cleaned everything with cleaners EVERY DAY just to be sure things are clean!!! That's nutty fanaticism, ocd, or worse! I hope I am misremembering that. People like that need help!

My house is comfortable. Before a party I give it a good going over, but between times uh unh. Just the basics. There are too many interesting things to do in life to worry about cleaning the house constantly.

I am giving you permission to enjoy the day without guilt. Enjoy! In the end, what difference does it really make?

Right there with you, ladies! My DH vacuums and does his own laundry, but that is it. I definitely have ADD, but once I get started on something, I am able to see it through. Have thought about getting a cleaning woman, but don't really want someone here when I am not and would feel too guilty not helping if I were here. Go figure. Doomed to a lifetime of weekend cleaning. :(

I hate baseboards, btw.

You are preaching to the choir.

Even after I stopped working, I kept the cleaning lady. She recently quit and I'm muddling through until I decide if I want to replace her. I had a cleaning lady since we moved into this house 18 years ago.

I am a very inefficient cleaner because I've never had to do it (even as a kid I never had to clean the house), I don't know the best way to do it, and, like everyone else, I must have a touch of ADD because I get so distracted. Of course, it's harder to stay on task when the task is something you don't want to do.

This week I thought I broke my ankle when the vacuum slammed into it. How embarrassing & idiotic would that be to be hurt while cleaning? Also this week I dusted the chandelier style light above my vanity. I didn't think it had been on long but the duster fibers burnt onto the bulbs! Oh my word what a smell. I had to replace all 3 bulbs. How stupid was that?

As I mentioned on another thread, now that I am the one handling every knick-knack and item in the house, a whole lot of stuff has been moved into the give-away box.

I'm considering one of those robot vacuums so that I can eliminate the constant sweeping of the kitchen floor. I guess the almost daily sweeping wasn't quite as annoying when it was one of the few things I had to do.

I'm also wondering if I should break the jobs up and do a little over a few days or just do the marathon sessions that I have been doing. I'm not sure which is worse.

I'm considering one of those robot vacuums so that I can eliminate the constant sweeping of the kitchen floor. I guess the almost daily sweeping wasn't quite as annoying when it was one of the few things I had to do.

I have a Roomba, and love it. The only problem is that the Roomba itself needs cleaning on a regular basis. In addition to emptying the dust bin, you need to take it apart to clean the brush roll and other parts.
I don't feel like it does a very deep clean on the carpet, but it's great for the hardwood and tile, and definitely cuts down on how often I have to get out the regular vacuum. Actually to be honest, I lug out the regular vacuum about as often as I used to, since I always put off vacuuming as long as possible. Now my floors are getting cleaned a lot more often. Recently I cleaned under my bed really well by letting the Roomba run under it for about half an hour.

I don't hate housework because it's one of the few things I can do that is free and immediately has a great effect on me. However, I go for more tidy vs. spotless.

I DO hate to clean when it's other people's messes over and over. Ann, if it's your kids' messes, that would drive me crazy. At my house, the only one who is not held accountable for that type of thing is the newborn and 2 y.o. (she helps, though). My other kids HAVE to clean up after themselves, period.

My first thought when I start to be overwhelmed is to declutter-- hardcore. I do not like to declutter! It means I have to make decisions and find a way to get the stuff OUT once I decide. I find decluttering to be very time-consuming. Even FL's idea of 15 minutes is hard. I usually do not have 15 minutes a day without a child!

A few ideas . . .

"No nasty projects half done": get rid of the projects. You can rebuy what you need IF you ever really want to do them. They are just filling you with guilt.

"No shoes thrown next to every door": Have a place for them that is easy for people to use-- cubbies or something.

-"No week's worth of mail piled on the entry way table": don't allow yourself to put it down without first sorting through, and then throwing out IMMEDIATELY what you don't want.

I find cleaning (and again, I am NOT talking about spotless-- just tidy and generally clean) to be easy when everything has its place. For me, the problem is that not everything has its place here . . .there is so much I want to get rid of but it will involve a lot of planning to get it OUT. For example, we stupidly said the original owners could leave pattern cabinets (metal ones from a sewing store) in the basement. WHY? They have no storage inside and they are nasty. I have to get them out! I have other furniture that I don't want but would be hard to move/not good to leave on the curb. So, I can use Freecycle, but again . . .that will take planning.

I'm in the same boat too...felt I was reading my plight and I'm so glad I'm not alone. I cleaned during the week so I could start sewing my new valances today but was up with insomnia all night. I haven't done a darn thing all day. I don't have a house cleaner like everyone else in my family nor have I ever wanted one. I may not enjoy housework but the idea of having someone else clean up after me makes me ill (sorry, not trying to offend but to each his own). I do like the way it feels when it's all done though. Hubby and I work as a team and do it all together. Ying and Yang which is great.

"Then too, having my 2 college age children living at home is fueling my fires. Basically we've now got 4 adults living in this house, 2 of whom aren't pulling their weight."

IMHO, as the lady of the house you don't have to pull your weight the same way our children do. Yes it's their home too but you know what I mean. Maybe it's time to make some changes. No adult living at home should get a free ride, you may think it's okay but the reality is it's not doing them nor you any favors. Start a to-do list for each and ask them to contribute! Then there will be less for you to worry about feeling guilty over.

Oh, I hear you! But, I hate a dirty house more than I hate housework.

But, many years ago I vowed to not spend my weekends cleaning. So, I break it up over the week. I also work full time and I commute about 3 1/2 hours per day. So, it's a long day for me. But, I don't let things accumulate. I sort the mail every day, or every other day at most. Everything gets reset every night before going to bed. It really doesn't take long (15-20 min per day). As someone else said, it's much easier to clean when you don't have to first put things away so you can clean under them.

I do work from home on Fridays and that makes a hugh difference. I can mop the floors before I start work. And I can do all the laundry during the day. Friday as soon as I'm done working (6pm) I usually clean upstairs - dust, vacuum and scrub 2 bathrooms. Doesn't take that long since there's no putting things away. Just the cleaning.

I don't mind cleaning the house anymore. I used to be like everyone else and absolutely detest it. The cleaning, the laundry, making 365 dinners a year and the grocery shopping that goes along with it. AND worst of all - I don't work so I am probably not really eligible to be able to b&tch about it.

But when we reno'd our house I completely decluttered and what a difference that makes with respect to housecleaning. It is so much easier and faster. Now if only the laundry etc had become easier at the same time. But when it comes to the laundry, even though I don;t work my DH's shirts go to the cleaners because the people in this house will be waiting for H to freeze over before I do any ironing.

I must say I was absolutely shocked to read about all that HATE...
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.and find it signed "Ann" not "Java".

Ann, I think you need to try to get more organized and get those grown kids moving. Definitely make a list of chores they are responsible for. They should not be causing you more housework or grief. LOL

If you get a few things to become a habit, it will lessen your anxiety. The more you run from the work the more anxious you become, am I right?

On the Organizing forum you might find some great advice. Some of those folks have their routines down to a science and make it seem so easy.

Have you heard of the Fly Lady website? This lady who runs the sight gives instructions on what needs to be done, when and how each day. She has some great ideas that does simplify the whole house cleaning chore.

When I was younger I also gave up my Saturday's to clean house. I use to actually enjoy the cleaning because I love a clean house. That doesn't happen now. My DH and I clean as we go for the most part and then when it's time for the floors to be vacumed and mopped we take turns and do them when we feel like it. We don't pressure ourselves to keep the house spotless. I can't live like that because I have animals. I'd make myself crazy trying to keep everything spotless.

Here's one thing you can start with tomorrow. Go through your mail while standing over the trash can, then file the bills to be paid in a little holder on your desk or counter. If you are a magazine person, recycle old as a new one comes in. See, easy peasy.

New rule in house if clothes and shoes lying around is a problem. No clothes or shoes except in the bedroom or laundry room.

Try to develop one positive habit a week and see if it helps.

OK, I'll shut up now. Hope you can find some solutions to end your anxiety.