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jamie1s

So complicated - a decorating vent

13 years ago

Valinsv's above-the-buffet thread is a perfect example. Decorating requires a million skills, and for somone like me, who processes visually but does not have a vision, the process is so back-and-forth, trial-and-error, I have to see it and even then, although I might know something is wrong, I won't be able to describe WHAT the something is so I can fix it.

(Val's vignette looked good to me before she started. How did folks get that it could be improved? I agree it's looking better, but to have gotten there on my own? Never!)

It's maddening.

Recently I've decided to try to hold onto a "standard" or a "vision" so I can at least feel like I'm shooting for something. This would be sort of like an inspiration room, I guess, but less specific because inspiration rooms usually have architectural features that mine do not.

How did I ever come to expect myself to be able to do this?!

Comments (15)

  • 13 years ago

    But you COULD do it. If you found a room you really loved you start by finding furnishings that look like the inspiration room. Scale and proportions are very important so analyze your room and compare it to the I.Room. Buy accessories in the same height and space furnishings the way they did in your photo. Start memorizing what it is that makes a room one that you'd love to live in and apply it to your home. Is it the textures? colors? tones?
    No one here popped in to the world with the ability to decorate well, they study and learn. This forum is a great teacher. Some of the gurus here are remarkable. Listen to what they say. Learn about paint and how colors relate to each other. What would be fun is to have a learning class here on the forum, why don't you post a picture of your inspiration room and then your room and then watch the posters make your dream room become real. You would learn so much and so would many people. By the time your room was completed you'd understand more what it takes to bring it all together.

  • 13 years ago

    There is a book that I give to first-time homeowners called The Meghan Method. It's one of the most functional step-by-step guides that I've found for decorating. She even has a web site and blog, although I see that she hasn't updated them in a while because of illness.

  • 13 years ago

    My mom grew up in an orphanage and she was a born decorator. I think some people truly are born with the decorating gene.

    Me? It took years of looking. Looking at magazines, books, friends home's, and then here on GW.

    I'm not a rule follower either, except for two of them. 1) put things in odd numbers, and 2) Hang pictures at eye level.

  • 13 years ago

    Some may have natural talent....like a friend of mine who never saw a piano before, sat down and started playing wonderfully....

    Most of the rest of us have to learn and practice just like anything. Inspiration pics may have details you don't have, but you can train your eye to see the elements that make it work and you can aim for that. Reading books or watching programs can help us get an understanding of the basics. And just like any practice, don't expect to get it perfect the first time, but expect to get better each time. I've been decorating the rooms in my house and those of friends and family for 30 years and the rooms I do today are so much better than they were even a few years ago. Just like any practice, you learn to trust your strengths and identify your weaknesses and work on them. Just like any practice, find mentors and friends who can help you, like the folks here who have incredible eye and creativity.

    You'll get there....

    Below is a link to the 7 layers of design which was Christopher Lowell's guide to basics that may be helpful for you.

    Here is a link that might be useful: Christopher Lowell's 7 layers of design

  • 13 years ago

    "a friend of mine who never saw a piano before, sat down and started playing wonderfully"

    This is fascinating. Some people are naturals with music, but how can you simply sit down at something like a piano and start playing out of the blue?

  • 13 years ago

    I dunno, but he did....everyone said, Bobby, we didn't know you could play the piano, and he said neither did I....he was a natural at it.....

  • 13 years ago

    I read recently that anyone can become a piano player after practicing 10,000 hours. I do believe that, because I learned to read music and play as an adult. If I really sat at that keyboard for 2 hours/day for 13 years I would be able to play.

    But. The piano is always the same, and I move from house to house. And I don't have to keep dragging instructors and sheet music home, trying them out, and returning them. That sucks up a lot of energy.

    I think I have a better chance of playing a recognizable tune than I do of creating an inviting room.

  • 13 years ago

    The rooms may change but the design principles stay the same. And your ability to apply them will improve, as will your eye for what works, what you like and don't like.

  • 13 years ago

    Jamies: Your last statement was a very moving one for me. I love your analogy and appreciate what you're saying about dragging samples home and driving back and forth searching for the right pieces of the decorating puzzle -- it's exhausting and most of us don't really enjoy it. We just want to get it done.
    When I was newly married (decades ago) we moved around a lot between colleges and work places. One day after a recent move, my mom came for a visit and said "why is it that every place you move to looks put together like you've just decorated"? I hadn't really thought about it, but said that I guessed it was because my furnishings and accessories go together -- I can move them anywhere. Wall color, flooring and draperies are background (and our things were anything but neutral back then). That's pretty much been my way of thinking no matter where we go. If your walls and flooring and window treatments look like they belong with the dwelling, the rest will come together with things you love. I will admit wall art placement and arrangements do stump me and it takes a group of friends as we have here to lend another bunch of eyes to help sort it out.
    It's also good to take pictures of your place for your own use. It's amazing what becomes obvious to when you see a photo.

  • 13 years ago

    Jamies, I feel the same way. I am very frustrated!

    I am very affected by my visual surroundings, and I always have been. I remember really enjoying going to my mom's friend's home. She moved a lot (apartments) yet always decorated in such a way that was cozy and warm. Sadly, she is now blind. I feel this must be especially painful because she is so talented visually.

    I will think I "get" something, but then realize my error. For example, I just spent a lot of time and money making curtains. I adore the fabric, but my room is just too dark for them. It is a bad sign when the windows look better without them!

    Or, I thought I would have an easy-ish time decorating our new living room. It has more character than our last one. I had it all planned-- remove the carpet and refinish the hardwoods. Get a few nice old patterned rugs. Add more pattern through accessories. Well, the room is SO awkward that a normal rug won't fit, and the only ones that do are too small. So, it seems that (gasp) wall-to-wall carpeting is the only solution. Not my style.

    Anyway, look at it this way. On American Idol, there are some singers who are horrible and don't realize it. But, some sound bad but know it. I figure that at least some of the battle is won because I know something is wrong, even if I do not come up with a good solution.

  • 13 years ago

    anele, you can go to a rug store and have them bind a rug remnant to the size you need so you don't have to get wall to wall if you don't want it....

    and if the drapes are making the room so dark, is it because of how you are hanging them? They shouldn't darken the room so much if they are hung to skim the outside of the window panes....

  • 13 years ago

    Or, Anele, in addition to Annie's good suggestion, you could use multiple small rugs. That can be a very charming look. But here we are back to complicated again -- it's not as easy as putting one nice rug in the middle of the room and done. Since you can sew, there is always hope for the window treatments. Along with work, of course. Oh the price of beauty!

    I've been told I have a good voice, and I think I do. Worse than decorating difficulties would be to wake up one day and hear my voice in a different way and realize that I've never carried the tune on key. That's almost too scary to contemplate. Losing some of one's singing ability to age is to be expected I suppose, (although I keep working on breathing etc.) and looking back on days when your voice was better is probably normal. With decorating, I look back on some past rooms fondly, others with interest or curiosity (I'm amazed at what my adolescent room says about me), or with relief that I don't have to cope with certain challenges any more, like that tacked on FR addition with cheap, poorly placed windows -- good riddance!. With decorating, you can keep getting better and better if you so choose.

  • 13 years ago

    Anele, recently I stayed with a friend who is a decorator. I was in awe of her house. Layered, elegant, french country. We have the same dark wood floors too.

    But it wasn't until I was getting ready to leave that I noticed something. She had zero area rugs! I wanted to come home and yank all my rugs up. lol.

  • 13 years ago

    Annie, yes, I have considered that, but I can't see the point of spending $ and dealing with the hassle of refinishing (esp with my young children) only to put back a new carpet (vs a vintage one I would prefer). Re: the curtains, well, they are not blocking light (I have them pulled off the actual window) but more feel heavy, like dark bookcases would (which I also brilliantly bought to go with the dark trim). Sigh.

    Jamies, yes, I could get multiple rugs, but the floor plan is so awkward. There is no easy pathway through my entrance to living room to dining room. This is without furniture! I will have to post a floorplan.

    How wonderful that you have a good voice! I do not. I have good pitch, but my voice quality is horrible. My range is so limited, but it does not stop me from karaoke! I graduated with a music degree but now I never play, so it's singing poorly or nothing! I have my girls taking free online voice lessons; I should join them.

    And I agree that we improve. I was looking at Jenny Komenda's blog--love her.Well, if you look at past work, even she has made huge strides.

    Fun, I ordered the book. Thank you! I skimmed it online and it already inspired me.

  • 13 years ago

    Oak, I think that would be gorgeous but my family would kill me. I still have a crawling baby (when will she walk??) and the kids are on the floor all the time. Trying to go by Magnaverde's rule.