Something like...
Gold and silver......please celebrate a very precious occasion with us..Please don't mention gifts....people will bring what they want....no matter what you say.
You might say " we need nothing but your presence"...or "if you want to give a present, please consider.."a charity"....and name one or 2.
Sounds wonderful!! Can I come??
Linda C

I personally would just invite them for and focus on your 25th Wedding Anniversary, decorate with silver (although you could throw in some red, white and blue, every now and then)... and not mention gifts at all. Trying to do an important anniversary, a b-day party, and July 4th all at once just seems like over kill.

Lindac, you are enthusiastically invited! I love your suggestion about "gold and silver."

You know that I agree with you about putting "no gifts, please" -- it's still a reference to gifts. But as I wrote above, it just has become such an ingrained convention here, we decided to put it on. A reference to a charity actually seems to me in a way pushier, because although not greedy, it still suggests that we were anticipating their generosity and trying to direct it in a little more detail than than the now-formulaic "no gifts please." But we will tell our very best friends (the ones that others will ask; you know what I mean) that we would greatly prefer contributions to savedarfur.org or guests' favorite charities. It's true, too -- like most people of 50 and married 25 years, we have too MUCH stuff are more interested now in offloading than acquiring! More important, I think the best celebration of good fortune is sharing with others who aren't so lucky.

carla, we weren't planning on July 4th decorations or "theme," just the birthday and anniversary. (People will get plenty of July 4th stuff earlier at the parade and later at the fireworks, we figured.) Do you still think that's too much?

Just an idea on the gifts issue. When we remodeled our kitchen we had a "come see our new kitchen" party mainly because so many of my friends had heard many of the details along the journey and really wanted to see it. I did NOT want any gifts because I got everything I wanted including all my dishes and potholders and other accessories to go with my new kitchen -- the things I wanted to get.

So, instead of just putting "no gifts" I put something like, no gifts please but a bottle of wine will be welcome. Something like that. That way, anyone who felt like they just HAD to get me something (and there are always those) knew what to get. And you can pick up a bottle of wine for under $10 pretty easily. I got a lot of bottles of wine that night, not everyone brought some and only one person brought me a "gift" that wasn't wine.

I like the charity idea but I can see your point of view on that. The wine idea might not work for you either but just giving another perspective.

On your invitation wording, I don't like "Every 25 years, something wonderful happens!" because it sort of makes it sound like nothing wonderful happened in between. Of course I can't think of what to say instead. But I do like Linda's "gold and silver". I think I would decorate in gold and silver with some red & blue accents.

Just a follow up on the "no gifts please" issue, because it is something we all always agonize over, isn't it?

It went as we predicted. Our very closest friends got me birthday gifts (in groups of 2 or 3). These are the people with whom we are so close that we give each other gifts for big occasions, party or no party, so we ignore "no gifts, please" if there is a party, because just as we aren't giving a gift because of the invitation, we aren't refraining from giving one because of the invitation, either. Our very, VERY closest friends also got us anniversary gifts (one from a group of three couples, one from one couple) -- same circumstance.

Most people either brought a bottle of wine, amaretto, or champagne, a small birthday and/or anniversary gift (about like you would give for a hostess gifts -- candy, a funny little purse mirror, etc.), or nothing. Several (whether or not they could attend the party) made contributions to various charities.

Another factor that may have made a difference was the gift my husband gave me -- the best ever. It is an album of stories and memories he asked people to send. Not only do I love it more than anything else he could have thought of, I like the idea that that would help people feel like their contribution to the album WAS a gift -- and they are right!

Anyway, the bottom line is that I think that whether or not you put "no gifts, please" on an invitation doesn't make much difference; those who would anyway will anyway, and others might bring something small, but about the size they would probably bring as a hostess gift anyway. The real function is for the hosts to avoid feeling embarrassment about giving themselves a party for a gift-y occasion. So I guess in the future I will stick to no reference at all to gifts, EXCEPT where we are both hosts and also the guests of honor.

I still feel, also, that people LIKE giving gifts to their friends. And I'll close with a funny story to that effect from this birthday: one day, about 11:30 am, a couple of weeks before the party, I called my friend G, on her cell phone, to see if she wanted to go to lunch. No answer, so I called A. No answer, so I called N. No answer - !!! "Why don't my friends take my calls," I thought, feeling very unpopular. So I called C, and she and I went to lunch. The next day, G called me, laughing. She said, "Sorry I didn't get back to you until today. I bet you wanted to go to lunch. I was out with A and N, shopping for your birthday present!" They had figured it out and wanted to share the laugh with me. (Good thing I had tried all three of them, eh?) They had fun shopping together, and I love the gift (it's a glass necklace) because it makes me think of them having a good time because of me.