It does bother me when someone takes a call while we're in a restaurant. I've told DH and BF to please go outside since it was not only rude to me, but really rude to the waiters. I feel so bad when a waiter is standing at a table trying to do his/her job and the customer is totally oblivious to them, or just ignores them while they continue their call.

Yes, it bothers me. Fortunately, I'm not close to anyone who is on cell phone overload - although if I had the experience you had with your DSIL, I wouldn't hesitate to speak just as you did. I think that people who continually text and take calls when they're with you are sending the message (whether they intend to or not) that what's happening on their phone is of greater importance than the time they are spending with you. Certainly, sometimes an important call must be taken - and when that call comes in, I think the recipient should ask the person they're with to excuse them momentarily while they deal it - and then silence the phone when they're done. Beyond that, however, constant cellular connectivity isn't an absolute necessity for everyone. It seems to have become a deeply ingrained habit for many though.

My niece has song tones for every single one of her callers. Honestly, they are hysterical. When her brother phones, it's a song about a loser (he really isn't). Another family member (who battled prescription drug addiction) ringtone is Amy Wineheart's "I don't want to go to rehab." You get the picture...

After this discovery, my niece left my house to meet my DD for coffee. When I figured they were together, I called DD and told her what the deal was with her cousin's phone; that I was going to call my niece next because I wanted to know what my ringtone was... Awwe, it was "We are family."

"We are family
I got all my sisters with me
We are family
Get up ev'rybody and sing

Ev'ryone can see we're together
As we walk on by
(FLY!) and we fly just like birds of a feather
I won't tell no lie
(ALL!) all of the people around us they say
Can they be that close
Just let me state for the record
We're giving love in a family dose"

I don't really know anyone with cell phone overload. My GD went through a time where my DD had to makes some rules re: texting, but she is much better now. DD gets infrequent calls from her kids (there's 5 from a combined marriage and 4 are teens!) when we're together but her calls are very short.

DH refuses to even own a cell phone. He spends so much time on the phone at work, he doesn't want to be bothered by a phone when he is out and about.
(Drives me crazy sometimes. I could save him so much time if he had a phone.)

No, it doesn't bother me. In a way, it's like Call Waiting was years ago. People griped about how offensive it was then, but now everyone has it.

I've also never noticed that people talk louder on a cell than they do in person.

I've been fortunate to never have to dine or spend time with someone who has an obsessive need to be in touch. And that's how I view most cell phone usage ... an obsession.

I do have a phone ... but it's rarely turned on.

My DH says I talk louder on my cell phone. Unless I am expecting an important call or my DS is spending the nite out - I leave mine in the car.

I think it is rude to be talking on the phone while checking out at the grocery and someone is gabbing away making the cashier wait for them to finish all the while a line is forming.

OTOH, my DH makes his living by taking calls on his cell phone. It is attached to his hip at all times until he goes to bed. By taking his "office" with him, we get to enjoy lunches and other outings during the week since he isn't tied down to an office. He will step outside to take a call. When we first married I would have dinner ready & get a little peeved when he was on a sales call but quickly came to understand those phone calls allow me to put dinner on the table!!

Smiles:)

I don't like call waiting either...we may have it, but to be honest, I never use it. I just don't feel comfortable putting someone on hold while I answer another call. I think it's rude, and really, isn't that's what voice mail is for? They can leave a message and we'll call them back.

My older sister came to visit us a couple of years ago, hadn't seen her in a long time so I was pretty excited. But not once did she put down her blackberry so we could have a conversation without being interupted. She's not the kind of person you can say anything to, so every time she'd start texting, I'd just get up and go about my business. I'm still not sure why she decided to stop by. She was here for 4 days and I don't think we had more than 20 minutes of ininterupted conversation the entire time. By the time we drove her to the airport, I was ready to "accidently" throw that darn thing out the window!

I guess I lead a pretty charmed life. I've never had to wait while someone chatted in line; I've never seen a waitress have to wait to take an order; I've never been to a movie or performance when a cell rang. My kids sometimes text and take calls when we're together, but it doesn't bother me - I do it on occasion, too! Same with friends when we're together. Cell phones are just part of life nowadays.

In fact, I find it very frustrating NOT to be able to reach my kids or hub when they turn off their phones, and I haven't heard a busy signal in ten years! I don't call at inappropriate times, and neither do they. For us, cell phones are a very good thing. My kids don't even have land lines so their cells are always on, and we are considering getting rid of ours.

Thanks to everyone for your insight.

scooby - Being self-employed, DH also uses his phone 24/7 for business. We get calls at all times of the night as he has many international clients. At 6 p.m. we set the business line to ring to his cell. DH gets up and talks business at 3 a.m. Only happens a few times per month, as most people realize they are in a totally different time zone. It used to drive me crazy when his cell would ring in the middle of the night. I am used to it now and usually can fall right back to sleep.

If we want to go out to lunch or for some other reason, we can send the business calls to the cell phone and be making money even when we are out spending it! LOL DH will step out of a store or restaurant to take a call, however.

lukki - we do have call waiting. I never pick up a call unless it is from my parents. We started that service after my Dad was taken to the E/R and DM couldn't get through on our home phone. I didn't even have a cell phone back then.

My cell stays in my purse and is for emergencies in the car only. I have learned to text with my DD when she went off to college this past fall.

We did have one outrageously embarassing cell phone incident. DH had a client and his wife in town a few years ago. I think they may have been from Tennessee or Kentucky, can't really remember where they were from. We took them to a very nice restaurant in the city. We ordered drinks and were looking at the menu when the husband (client) put his cell phone out on the table, on speaker, so that he and his wife could talk to their adult daughter about a new job she had recently started. DH and I just looked at one another. Before we even had time to head it off, the waiter came over and told the guy to take the call outside. I was mortified.

DD turns her cell off when she's out at dinner or at an event. Why is that a 19 yr. old can use the cell responsibly and courteously, but a 40 yr. old can't?

It does bother me when someone takes a call while we're in a restaurant. I've told DH and BF to please go outside since it was not only rude to me,

There are certain calls that have to be answered, but I think that it's also rude to take an non-critical call when you are with someone else, even if you take the call outside. By doing that you are leaving your dining companion alone. I'm not a big phone talker, except maybe with my daughter, so I've never understood people who are on the phone all the time. When my phone rings when I'm with others I will either answer and tell the caller that I will call back and quickly hang up, or ignore it and let it go to voicemail. And in my experience people generally do talk louder on their phone.

I can see why teens who are still developing their social skills use it ad nauseam. Adults who constantly have to stay in contact via cell rather than enjoying life in the moment, I don't get it. It can quickly bore me to tears if someone calls me to chat about their errands or other mundane details of their day. It's bad enough when someone I'm with takes those type of calls let alone hearing a stranger discussing (at top volume) that they have to get gas or wondering what kind of Twinkies they should buy.

I've been hiking on a mountain trail and peoples phones ring. They apologize, then take the call. Even after telling the person they are out of town, on a mountain trail, seems hard to get off the phone. :0)

Nicole, it's like a drug for some people. They need to learn how to just say no!

work, that's true, family is (and should be) the exception. :c)

My DH got his first cell phone more than 15 years ago and has been hooked ever since. We had one back when you had roaming charges and it was analog! haha. I remember how people looked at him like he was a celebrity when he used it in public.

Now we are cell only. We finally gave up our land line (never used it!) and I've upgraded to an iPhone. DH still uses a flip phone, tho. We haven't moved to bluetooth because I can't stand something in my ear and he couldn't figure out how to use his.

DH is slowly learning to let his phone go. He used to be like Pavlov's dog when a phone rang...he'd break his neck to grab the stupid phone. Now he's actually let his cell go to voice mail! I have to admit, he doesn't use it when we're in public, but he does have a tendency to use it when we're supposed to be on down time. I remember when we went to Hawaii, the moment we were off the plane, he turned his phone back on and it was ringing. One morning at breakfast he answered it (I was VERY perturbed) turned out to be a customer and he sheepishly explained we were in Hawaii and our store would be closed for another week.

I try to be discreet when I use my phone. I am a firm believer in that if a person is in my presence, THEY take priority over a phone call. Even if it's *just* the barrista at StarBucks, they're still more important than that stupid phone.

We still have a land-line but we don't have call waiting or caller ID. Imagine this, I just pick up the phone (when I feel like it) without knowing who is calling! I'm a risk taker and a rebel. I recently switched to a pay-as-you-go plan since I so rarely use my cell phone. There is a time and a place and sometimes a need for cell phone.

I think most people do use their cell phone appropriately in public. But it's the one's who don't that can drive you crazy. Like the ones making/taking calls at the grocery story & then act like the REST of us are rude for going about our business & making it hard for them to hear.

I guess I fit right into that Cornell study. I can tune out 2 people talking, cause I know they're not talking to me, but have more trouble tuning out the one-sided conversation.

And the crazy stuff you hear! Personal details that shouldn't be shared while standing in line at Staples or the ever-exciting-so-glad-you-called "what are you doing? I'm in line at Staples".

I have 2 phone addicted sisters. One checks her Iphone, texts, surfs the web 20+ times a hour. The other makes calls. I mostly ignore them & go about my business. I guess they wore me down and it doesn't bother me anymore.

Texting is better because it's quiet but can still be rude if it means ignoring the person sitting there for texting something like "I'm in line at Staples" versus "meet me at the ER".

I worry that texting's prevalence and general acceptance means more teens, those inexperienced drivers, will think it's fine to do while they're driving. And not just teen drivers, of course, but all drivers. I don't think calling & driving is a good idea but texting & looking down at a screen has got to be even worse. Sure, sure you only plan to look down for a second, like when changing the radio station, but what if it's a long text? or long response?

My boss is addicted to her blackberry and yes it does bother me when I'm discussing something w/ her and she's looking down at it the whole time. I know she's listening to me too but.......

On our day off we went out together w/ our kids and she was much better about it only glancing down at it a few times and never while we were in discussion about something. I kind of felt that maybe our day out together w/ the kids might have been a welcome respite away from it for her. I noticed when I checked messages at work the following day that they hadn't been checked by her on her day off which she ALWAYS does! I felt kind of good that she actually disconnected from work for once.

I have a "friend" who, on the first day of the blackberry sent me over 50 emails! He said they don't call it crackberry for no reason. Yep. Addicted.

Generally, I can ignore cell phone stuff. It doesn't bother me for those around me to use one, as it's just another way to have a conversation. Like, they'd do if the person was standing right there. I just tune it out. Of course, I live in world where beepers go off all day long. That may make a difference? I think the novelty has worn off for most people, or use has gone on long enough, that most people know not to have their ringer on really loudly, or use it too much, to turn it off when they're with someone... it's gotten better, I think. Except yesterday at Target. There was a person talking so loudly about praying, church stuff... and I took it as being, "look at me! I am so good and I want everyone to know." I wasn't any more tolerant than if she'd been talking loudly to someone standing right there in the store. But that probably didn't have anything to do with a cell phone.

;)

As you walk a big city street, streams of 'blue-toothers stride toward you, "talking to themselves", or how it once appeared, and probably still does to those not inured to it. Now take that big city scene into into a mall or, say, a Target. Imagine that EVERYONE is a 'blue-toother. What about this bothers you , if it does?
For me it's the loss of human contact, with each so wrapped up in their individual worlds. Would you ever smile at one another as you pass by? Doubtful. If carts bumped would you get/make an "oops, sorry"? If you saw a mom choosing a certain toy, might you ask her opinion of it? Directions anywhere? The loss of human contact is invasive, with touch pad menus everywhere, etc. Are we to lose it IRL, as well? I'm sadly guessing so.

I had a very eerie experience in a mall once. I was just walking along and there was a group of about 5 people in front of a store, having a conversation. Or at least I thought they were having a conversation. As I got closer, I realized that all 5 of them were talking on their cell phones.

I guess they all just happened to pause in that particular place by accident. But for a second there, I had the impression that they were all talking to each other, just over the phones instead of in person, as if they could stand next to each other, but couldn't speak face to face.

Just a small Twilight Zone moment.

And as for their decorum? Well, they were blocking access to the store and blocking up a large part of the walkway in front of the store, making everyone move around them. They all seemed oblivious to the inconvenience they were causing.

Oh, don't let me get started on the lack of situational awareness by so many people, like people who stand in doorways and chat or get off the escalator and stop.

I picked up some magazine while waiting for my bra fitting at Macy's today (and that could be a whole other thread!).

It had a column on etiquette and the question was when is it okay to text. The answer was if you would pick up a crossword puzzle and work on it in that same situation, then it's fine to text. For instance, would you work on a puzzle at the table while dining with others?

I thought that's an interesting example; I'll have to go back & share it with the forum.

Graywings: Oh, don't let me get started on the lack of situational awareness by so many people, like people who stand in doorways and chat or get off the escalator and stop.

... or abandon their grocery cart in the middle of the aisle, and wander away to take a phone call!

-Lena