Think less of you? I don't. I work in the medical field also; I remember one instance where, upon discharge, a patient gave every single staff member a gift certificate for a spa treatment; every single staff member except the ward clerk who kept the show running. She was so hurt.

(((Ttodd))). I'm surprised they didn't feel funny doing that with you standing there. Odd. Petty or not, I'd probably be feeling the same way.

On a happy note, I think it's great you're able to spend more time with your kids.

I know I should but I don't want to.

The Physical Therapist asked me to write a Thank You, which has been typical practice for any Dr. that I've worked w/ and in the past I've always signed it "The Staff at...." if it was something that we all ended up sharing.

Clearly these gifts were meant for 2 specific individuals and my boss is taking me to lunch.

I really want to just sign my bosses name since she's taking me to lunch w/ her gift card. Clearly I'd be letting the tech hanging to do what he should know to do. He said he'd give me a beer from his gift but I turned him down. I mean this pt. went out of her way to select 6 different pumpkin beers for him. Some of them are really expensive bottles. I WAS THE ONE WHO EDUCATED HIM ABOUT PUMPKIN BEER! Oh, and I bring specialty beer in for him all of the time when DH buys it.

He's (tech) in his mid-twenties and he hasn't caught onto the don't ever let it look like someone is not included thing but turn and around to the person and say something about a gift for 'us' or 'sharing' w/ the staff to prompt the gift giver that there are 3 people that work here and that we work together as a group.

Thanks for letting me go on......

I really want to go see my old boss next wk. I know he'd hook me up w/ part time hrs. but if it's not at his practice I probably wouldn't get the same rate that he paid me. It's worth a shot to float my letter out there though.

But then I don't want to let me current boss down. She relies on me so much.

My brain feels like the episode when Sponge Bob got so tan that his brain dried up! I'm afraid to tilt my head too far for fear that dried up dust might fall out of my ear!

And no beer to take home tonight to numb my pain.

Petty? Maybe. Human? Definitely. Everyone wants to be seen and acknowledged. It's very hurtful to see someone be thoughtful enough to recognize one person's contributions and so obtuse to not recognize another person's contributions in the same situation. I would have felt exactly the same, AND probably actually cried.
Dee

Aww, I'm sorry that happened to you. That would make me feel bad too.

flowerpwr45 - I can't even imagine!

On a positive note (always looking for that brightside!) the receptionist from the PCP docs upstairs said she heard that I love Indian Tea and brought some down to me this morning when a patient brought some in for them. How nice was that!

They're not allowed to have a coffee pot up there (?) so I periodically take coffee from our Keurig up to them.

Sorry you had a rotten day. It sounds like the patient was just ignorant, and the gesture was NO reflection of you or how hard you work.

Days like that call for happy hour !!!!!!

Ttodd, you're not being petty. Everyone wants to feel appreciated, and to be left out in such an in-your-face way by such a toad....anyone would have felt like you did.

Forget about the toad and DO NOT let his ignorant behavior influence your feelings of self-worth! You're fabulous and don't forget it, missy! Have a great weekend!

LOL!!! Thank you guys!

Turning off computer and heading home. GOOD NIGHT!

Called ahead & DH has a beer waiting for me and promises to have the kids in bed!

Love that man!

That was in poor taste IMHO. When I send something to my vet's office, or my primary's office, I send a tray or whatever to be put in the common area of the office for enjoyment by all.

Most offending (to me), was the giving of the "gifts" in front of you. That is just bad manners pure and simple.

I would have to assume that these people never learned from their parents, that unless you have something for everyone, don't distribute in front of the entire group!

Ugh, this is something taught at a very young age. We went over this time and again when DD started preschool. It is one of those little "unspoken" tokens of good manners. Or, if you are normal, it is just basic common courtesy or common sense that your patients are apparently lacking.

Hope it helped to vent, as you have every right to feel the way you do, and that you have a great weekend!

Gosh!

As soon as I drove down the alley behind our house I spied a lit chimnea in our garden alcove!

I could smell the woodsey fire as soon s I got out of my van.

Got inside and kids were in bed, DH had dinner warming and beer cooling. He said he thought we'd eat out back and when I snuck through the arbor into the alcove he even had a candelabra lit. The chimnea fire was so warm. The smell of a burning campfire on a crisp, cool Fall evening. Pure Heaven!

So much more relaxed now. Aaaahhhhhhhh!

Yay for your DH!! Can't believe what happened to you at work. Rude, rude, rude! I would have been upset too. It's good to get it all out here so you can be nice the next time you see 'the gifter'.

Hear's to Fridays!

What a sweetheart your DH is! I am so sorry this happened to you. I would be so hurt also. I don't think it is petty at all. That client obviously has no manners.

I hope you have a great weekend.

First, good for you for taking on less challenging work than you'd prefer so you can spend more time with your kids.

I'd love to do that and have been thinking about working part-time so I can spend more time with my 7 year old but don't think it would be an option at my job. I also have a few older kids in college so I can't afford to make a complete career change and take the paycut right now. It's hard and I feel guilty every day even though my daughter loves her school and after-school daycare.

I feel the exact opposite about the type of job I have though - mine is so challenging and mentally stressful that it consumes me at times and I have almost nothing left to give at the end of the day. A mind-numbing job sounds pretty good right about now - but I know I might feel differently after a few weeks of it!

Second - you have every right to feel hurt because the patient clearly excluded you. Not liking your job so much might make you feel even more unappreciated at this slight because this job is still taking time away from you and your family, right? You could at least have some appreciation!

Your boss does recognize what a good employee you are though and it sounds like your man does too! That's more important than any snub by a patient.

A paralegal in my office went out of her way yesterday to work overtime and help me (a stressed out maniac last night) get a motion filed by this morning. I wanted to show her some appreciation for her extra work by bringing her a little something next week - coffee and pastries, etc. When I thought of doing this, I immediately remembered the other secretaries/paralegals in the office who are also helpful to me for those regular, everyday things. So, I'm going to tell the paralegal once again how thankful I am that she helped me get the filing done in time but bring something in for all of them to enjoy, and if I didn't then I think the others would have a reason to feel unappreciated.

oh ttodd....I know you're feeling better now but I just want to add to the chorus that I know how you feel and I'm so sorry this happened to you. It is so so hard to go to a job where you are not appreciated, whether it is from the people you work for or the people you serve.

Hats off to DH for showing you how special you are.

You know, most husbands, even the best of them, wouldn't do what your's did when you got home. You are ONE lucky lady!

Here's a story that really hurt me, to this day it still hurts. lol

Many moons ago when my friends and I were all SAHM's, we got together a couple times a week with the kids, drank coffee, and just chatted up a storm.

Then we decided to celebrate each other's birthdays.

For the first birthday we celebrated, all of us girls chipped in BIG BUCKs (about $25 which was a lot back then) to buy a replacement one diamond earring the birthday girl had lost.

For one birthday girl, we all did a large quilt patch while another girl sewed it all together.

I forget the other presents. But when my bday was rolling around I was on pins and needles wondering what I'd get!

I got a purse I'd been eying (about $16) from JC Pennys. A friggin purse. It took every ounce for me not to cry right there on the spot!

I wanted to take my marbles and go home!

You guys seriously brought tears to my eyes! THANK YOU!

OakleyOK - I osted before I finished reading. That stinks!

I know what will happen Monday AM and I am going to take the high road w/ the Tech guy but still firmly state my position.

He will come in and tell me how awesome the beers were and I will say something to the affect that why would he bring that up to me? Not only was I hurt by the snub but I was also clearly embarassed in front of other patients and 'How do you think I felt'. If he didn't notice or realize that's fine but here's his chance to learn something about people and a more appropriate way to respond (or keep it to yourself).

I'll tell him that I've already taken care of boss's Thank You and ask if he's done the same (he doesn't nor wouldn't) at which point I will hand him a company note card and patients address.

I won't let the practice look bad and not receive a Thank You from everyone who was given a gift but I can let him know and give him a clue about human nature.

The patient on the other hand is a very nice lady but she clearly wasn't thinking. Unfortunately this type of gifting for 'the back staff' happens on a regular basis.

I wonder how she'd feel if I went to her bar and tipped the other bartender but not her on a night that they were both working?

PS - I also thank you for your kind words about my decision to put my job path on the backburner for the time being. While I never questions the reasons that I did it and would never change it, I do regularly want to bang my head on the steering wheel when I'm driving to work in the morning!

Juddgirl - I often have to remind myself that when I was working full time 5 days a week in my other job that for a moment I would feel jealous of the staff that left to get away from the stress and work a flexible 3 day work week.

I really miss learning something and new and interesting everyday at work. The long hours that I work those 3 days combined w/ my desire to spend the rest of the time w/ the kids & DH don't afford me enough time to pick up random classes at the local college 'just becuase' like I used to do to stimulate my brain.

I keep telling myself that before I know it the last one will be in school and I can make some changes.

I have never received a gift from any patient, and I work in two private practices owned by someone else. In both offices there are patients who ask to come in on the days I am there and the owner is not, patients who tell the front desk that I am much more patient with them and compassionate than the owners, patients who ask if I do general practice (I am a specialist) because I seem more competent or caring than the owner.

These are then the same patients who give the owners of the practice gifts, certificates, tickets, candy, etc. etc. Maybe I am invisible, maybe it is because I am there part time...In the one office I have been there as long as the current owner, and when he was named one "Top Docs" by his peers and the magazine took a picture of the office, the new part time generalist who had been there a couple months got in the picture, while I who have been there 15 years didn't even get a mention.

Maybe its just bad luck. Maybe somehow you also project that you don't "need" to be compensated because you do your job well.

Just another here to chime in and say that you were quite right to feel slighted -- and it was VERY bad manners not to include everyone in the gifts. I would have felt the same way!

Been there too. In many circumstances.

Lovely of your DH to make supper and light a fire!! :)

Jan at Rosemary Cottage

I agree that even the best dh out there might not have done what yours did. He is a keeper. And you are a great mom for doing this for your kids and family. It takes a lot to change for the benefit of family.

I think many of us have been in your position. My dh rounds on patients for 7 academic doctors. He basically sees the patients more than the doctors, often times the patients request him rather than the doctor. He sees about 6 times the amount of patients in a month than anyone else in his position. They will have meetings, really important ones about the practice, but don't include him. But they will include lesser important people. It really is rude. He knows he is irreplaceable so he takes it in stride.

Personally, I would not make a thank you note for someone else if a gift was given like that. I would kindly point out that it was their gift and proper people would send their own thanks. Unless you are say the Queen of England and have a secretary.

Wait, are YOU supposed to write the thank you notes? IMO, that's worse manners than the original offender!

I don't care if they are your superiors or not, that's just being lazy and in bad taste to ask you to do it.

Heh, you could write the thank you note, and sign your name along with the others. ;)

Ttodd: I hope you have a FANTASTIC Monday! And I hope lunch w/ the boss on the gift card is delicious (is it for a good restaurant?).

There's no accounting for poor manners nowadays. (Yikes--I sound like an old curmudgeon already and I'm not even 50!)

I hope you do get the opportunity to share a lesson about manners to your other co-worker.

And I wondered the same thing as Oakleyok did: They are so busy that they can't dash off a thank-you note on their own? I hate to ask what other side tasks fall on you.

I do not have a "poker face"--I'm sure if I'd been in your shoes, I would've turned red and even started tearing up.

Pal & Shannon - why am I not surprised to hear that? I want to be, but I'm not and I'm sitting here shaking my head.

Oakley - yes I am writing the Thank You for the lunch since boss is treating me to lunch too and voiced as much right away to everyone. I guess after so many yrs of just doing it for prior Doc that I worked for I've never given it a 2nd thought. Scratched my head at first but did it. And indeed I did think of just putting my name on it while stating in the Thank You that WE enjoyed lunch very much.

Quite honestly I decided to wait to send the Thank You until after the patient comes in again. I want to see if she mentions anything to me about the beer. If she does then I will include a nod to the beer in the Thank You (if Tech brings any back for me) but I will still only sign my name thanking her on behalf of the rest of the staff.

Luckily there haven't really been any other 'side tasks' for me. The last Doc that I worked for was crazy w/ the side tasks stuff but he was also the head of the practice and the chief of the ICU so I ended up more like his medical/ personal assistant. He compensated me very well for it though and there were many times when I would tell him that something was his responsibility not mine.

I had a brief talk w/ the Tech this AM where he protested 'But she said it was for all of us' at which point I said 'Really? If that's the way that it was presented then why didn't you immediately turn to share it instead of putting it w/ your back pack? It wasn't until you were prompted that you thought of sharing. Now how do you think that made me feel? She didn't stop to say anything specifically to me - she barely even looked at me before running out the door. That's because she was uncomfortable - she didn't expect for me to be in the back w/ the rest of you and she was caught off guard.'

Pammyfay - what a lovely start to a wonderful week! Thank you and

HAPPY MONDAY TO ALL!

Sorry you were snubbed. I have to say that it's usually the other way around with me; I used to bring a cookie tray when I did my Christmas baking that I would leave with the front desk staff - it was considered for everyone. I've also brought a vase with a few roses from my garden for the front desk for everyone to enjoy. The most I've "gifted" a doctor was magazines because the one I see every month is into computers; so if I read an interesting computer mag, I will pick one up for him too.

I also recycle my magazines to my doctor waiting rooms. I've never gotten a thank you for that. lol

Not petty to feel hurt. But since it is work related, I would let it go, and do whatever is best for your office, since you represent the office.
And then go home to another wonderful night of pampering.
People can be idiots, there is not yet a cure.

Sometimes I feel like when I'm in such a fowl mood that the only way to not let it suck me down is to do something nice for the jerk.

I bought a pizza for the Tech today at lunch. He doesn't know what hit him. I feel vindicated by doing kindness!

It seems that bad manners is on the increase and the simple thank you (whether spoken or written) is the first victim. When my kids were young they weren't allowed to play with a gift until they had written a thank you note. That was my effort to teach them the importantance of a gracious thank you.

Under the circumstances I think you handled everything very well. It's especially difficult since your office is so small these occurrences take on greater significance.

Maire_cate - I like your teaching style on Thank You's. I see that in my children's very near future! It's such a chore to get them to do it AFTER the fact.