Thank you so much. I know many here are rightly worried about my dd just as my dh and I are. Knowledge is power and forums like this allow us to get opinions from people we might not normally meet, although I do wonder when I will run into golddust- maybe in the white dishes dept??? lol.

We are revamping our entire life right now. Getting on the same page with her present teachers is a huge help. Getting professional help and even spiritual help is part of the gameplan also. We are even seeking physical help via a family gym possibly. Hopefully all of this will not only help our dd but allow our ds to not have the same problems she is having. I can only imagine how this is affecting him. We have to remember there are 4 of us in this house. We are a family and will get through this as such.

We know the church has some youth groups and our kids have friends that attend. We are hoping this will end up being something they will want to join.

As for group counseling, that could end up happening and I will be sure to ask about that. I think what type will depend on what the professionals feel we are dealing with. We are lucky to have the insurance we have because it covers a lot. Therapy sessions are only $15 per which I hear is pretty good.

I certainly hope all goes well with your son. He is very fortunate to have your support.

Shannon, we just just meet for lunch some time and get it over with! I'd love to meet you.

I keep thinking you are the lady next to me whenever I see white dishes. Like I am paranoid or something.

I don't often come to this side of the forums, partly, because I think I have been living under a rock and didn't realize it even existed...but I just wanted to follow up and see how it was going. I left a response on your original thread about my own experience in hopes of helping and shining a little little light. Best to you and your family.

Here is a link that might be useful: your other thread

Caroloh I just wanted to say how generous it is of you to share your experience with Shannon. So many of us have had or continue to have struggles with our teens and there are usually no easy answers or quick fixes. When we made the decision in 2006 to send our youngest off to a wilderness program, and then on to a therapeutic boarding school to finish high school, I found my self ostracized from my real life social circles as if it was a contagious condition. However, my online friends from a small group I belong to held me up and supported me through a very rough time. I wish you and your son well in your process - and it's all a process, isn't it?

Shannon I hope you do seek out a support mechanism for your daughter and your family. It really is a valuable tool because it can cover more ground and more quickly than individual therapy can in many situations. There's time and a place for each, of course.

I come here because of the vast variety of people who can offer so much valuable information.

We are looking at many things. She fits so many descriptions of different things. It will be up to the professionals to sort it out. From there we can see what kind of counseling, school change, medication, family counseling, etc will be needed. I cannot imagine this is something that will only involve her seeing someone. I am sure dh and I will need tools to understand what is going on and how our interactions may help or harm her getting all this figured out so she can move on and be the lovely girl so many see. I can never regret not doing things sooner, she was not ready. The only regret I have is not having her see someone after my breast cancer diagnosis. It is not the cause of her problems, they started earlier on, but it would have given her and us a head start on all this. But again, she was not ready to go.

I too wish you kmcg85 and your son continued progress. dlm2000 I can so understand you feeling ostracized. The last thing I want my dd to feel is that there is something wrong with her. It does %$#$%@# me off that the boys who have been a part of her boy problems get to walk around like nothing happened and she has to deal with all the social issues. Not one parent has come to me to say anything about their boys behavior, I can only imagine they just don't care.

Anyhoo, thanks for thinking of us. It takes a village.

That is does Shannon! I've come to feel that you have to do what's right for your own family and accept that not everyone is going to agree or approve of your choices.

My son is finishing his program this week - actually he "graduates" tomorrow, so that's good news. To this day I don't know that he was a drug addict or alcoholic like most everyone else in this group - he was more caught up in the social scene of smoking pot and being the cool guy who could get it for others etc.

But, through this group he has learned that he did have some addictive type behaviors and if nothing else, one drug can easily lead to another more addictive and dangerous drug. And mostly, he's learned how to talk about his feelings and express what he needs from people vs. just keeping quiet and always being the one who went along with the crowd.

In a way, it's been a blessing because at a pivotal age of 18, he had to grow up pretty fast (he got arrested for buying pot), he was exposed to a world of people battling serious addictions and could see that this was not a road he wanted to go down. He could very well have just kept going doing the things he was doing and gotten into more serious things without us even knowing until it was a serious problem and then he would have been like most in this group 35-40 years old - trying to find their way and having lost the last 15-20 years of their life to drugs and alcohol.

So, as a parent having lived through this, don't just let things go, and don't worry what people will think about your kid having to go to therapy or rehab or whatever works for them. If it makes them happier, more confidant and keeps them on a positive track in life, it's more than worth the social stigma or whispers or side glances when you or your kid see them at church or at the mall.