Try one of the mineral oil/beeswax combos. It's a little work to apply and buff, but will last so much longer than straight oil. I only do my counters maybe twice a year with this and they stay nice and dark. Keep your buffing cloth in a ziplock bag for quick touchups whenever you need them.

Here is a link that might be useful: mineral oil/beeswax on ebay

I love the way my soapstone looks when it's oiled but I'm too idle to keep up with it. Therefore, I have learned to ignore the resulting patina. If I had a farm kitchen, it wouldn't bother me at all, but the kitchen is a little too dressy for messy looking counters, IMO. However, everyone who comes into my house, including my brother from South Dakota, who couldn't care less about decor, loves the look of the counters, patina and all. I have thought once or twice about replacing them but there's nothing I can think of that I'd like better. Have you tried Dorado dry wax? It lasts a lot longer than mineral oil.

Do you have any samples of the soapstone that you used left? If so you can try an enhancing sealer on one. Put a coat on, buff it and then re-coat the next day and see how it works. I have had soapstone in my kitchen for a little more than a year and a half and just installed more in my kids bath and both are sealed with Miracle brand seal and enhance. The first coat goes on and gets blotchy and faded pretty quickly but the second coat really darkened the stone and has worked really well for us.

I oil mine with plain mineral oil. I put it on very sparily and rub hard to get as much out of the rag as possible and then I go over them with a dry rag and rub and rub until no more oil comes off.

I don't have any problem with wiping them up and having streaks. I know someone else has problems with water spots and it turned out they had over-oiled the stone and built up an oily reside on top. It was that residue that was causing all the problems.

But I think mine are so wild I might not see a streak even if there was one.

If you love the dark look of oiled soapstone but don't want the maintanence, why not just put a sealer on it. We did from day one and there is no maintanence except to wipe clean. It stays dark beautifully.
I know it seems to be frowned upon by many here, but honestly, I don't see why not, if that is your look you're trying to achieve.

Soapstone shouldn't be any work at all. I think all of us here have found that problems with the finish of soapstone is the result of the grit of sandpaper your fabricator uses when it's installed. Some people have terrible problems with water spots and rings, others don't at all. A few here have had their soapstone refinished (by Florida Joshua) and now have beautiful maintenance free counters.

I have soapstone that I started out oiling, but just don't bother anymore. I like it the lighter color. Don't have rings or marks. Maybe you should consider a sealer as suggested above and see how that goes.

If you google gardenweb soapstone and/or soapstone rings etc. you should find many threads on the subject.

Thanks to everyone for the suggestions. I am trying right now to not oil and see if I can live with the different finishes all over the kitchen, the patina! I am curious about the sanding when it was installed though. Could that cause all of these water spots, etc? Thanks again!