Go with neither of those. Pick Green or Blue (Azul).

Oh, dear!! You might have something there about the season, however. A lot of people's color choices are influenced by the state of nature (Norhtern Europeans wearing dead earths and grays in Winter, Central Americans decorating with wild tropical colors). Do you think his choices will change when the flowers are all blooming?

Another way to go about it is to borrow some sample books from the yard or a designer, and each of you make lists of all the ones you can't live with and all the ones you don't hate. Throw out (or hide) the can't live with list. Compare don't hate lists. Hopefully, there'll be a don't hate you both agree upon. It might not be the one either of you would have chosen, but if you can meet in an area you both don't hate you can learn to love it and save your marriage. :)

too late

Have you sat down and talked to your DH about this rather than just continuing to visit granite yards? He may not realize how much you abhor the countertop he picked out...I don't think he'd want you to be as miserable about this as you sound...

Questions to think about:
* Who works in the kitchen the most...you or your DH?
* Has your DH given in to you for other items? (maybe he feels it's his turn to get to pick)
* Have you given in to your DH for other items? (maybe you feel it's your turn to get to pick)
* Historically, who has the better design/aesthetic sense?

When my DH & I had disagreements, we gave the person who "used" the item in question the deciding vote or veto power. E.g., my DH cleans up, so he got the main sink, faucet, and DW that he wanted. While I agreed on the sink & faucet, I definitely do not like the DW, but since he's the one using it...

But, as I do most of the cooking & prepping, I got the deciding vote on cooktop, ovens, etc...including the countertop (he wanted quartz, I wanted granite). My DH also knew how much the countertop meant to me.

He generally gets the deciding vote on electronics (TV/DVD Player/Stereo/etc.) since they mean more to him than me. One point of contention was the speakers in the ceiling in the kitchen...initially I didn't want them b/c I was afraid they would look bad or out of place. But, my DH got ones that blended in w/the ceiling and I've gotten used to them now...I even appreciated them at Christmas when I was able to listen to Christmas music while baking w/o blasting out everyone in the FR!

What we found worked for us was to discuss the reasons we wanted what we did. E.g., the granite I wanted needed no maintenance & babying...which my DH was concerned about since he wipes up. I also showed him how the black would look w/the cabinets and that the silver inclusions I liked would hide dust. Often, just defining the reasons each of us liked/disliked something helped us see where we could compromise (kind of like Pharaoh's advice!) or convinced the other that we had really thought about it and that it would be "OK" (like the speakers I mentioned above).

Unfortunately, this is one area where GWers fear to tread and rightfully so, I think. We do not want to come b/w spouses nor do we want to cause problems in a marriage/relationship. So, the above questions and comments are only to help you and your DH discuss the current problem and maybe look at things a little differently; they are not meant to say "DH is wrong, you're right" or "DH is right, you're wrong"...I don't know what will work best for you, but I do wish you the best of luck.

It may not be too late...call the fabricator immediately and see if they've started cutting the slabs yet. If not, you may still be able to change your choice.

Laid out, as in templates? Call them right now and tell them not to cut!!!!!

And here's a (((((BIG HUG))))) for you.

Do you do most of the cooking and kitchen work? Is it a true 50/50? Or is it mostly his?

If it's the last, calm down, talk it through with him, and maybe give in unless it'll make you spit every time you see the granite.

Otherwise, even if they've already cut, see if you can send the cut ones off to Craig's List or something. And start over. Even if you have to eat the cost of the granite and get Formica instead. It's just a countertop and its feelings shouldn't be put ahead of your own.

But if you'd rather live with gray and peach granite than Formica in a more acceptable color, and they've already cut it, then dry your tears, buy some shoes, and start planning all the pretty things you're going to put on your kitchen worktops to hide the granite.

Awww you're suffering from kitchen fatigue. Even if you can't cancel that thing and feel like you must install it, people here can help you fix it. You'll need to talk to your husband and be sure he knows how you feel and that you're letting him have this, but you're picking backsplash and paint, and whatever it takes to have the kitchen you want. It's possible to downplay blah granite.

And we can also help you come up with ways to destroy it.

i feel for you!!!!!!!!! i used to get upset when my dh even suggested something that i wasn't thinking in my mind. we exspend so much time and energy on these kitchens (and once i found gw, that time tripled!!!!)

does he know how upset you are? sometimes just trying to say the same things in a different ways works for us. i wish i could do more to help you. you will get through this somehow.....with or without this countertop......

So sorry, I know exactly how you feel. This remodeling is way worse than I understood. But I think fori's last suggestion was great....well maybe that's my passive-aggressive side coming out

I'm so sorry! That's the exact reason we haven't done too much in 5 years to our kitchen. What fori said.

I agree, all this can be so difficult. I don't think that my DH and I have ever argued so much as with planning this kitchen remodel. We have realized that we have completely opposite tastes in absolutely everything. I like what Buehl said about compromise and negotiaion. That is what we are trying and so far so good. Some ideas of his I'm going along with and some he's going along with me. But for something as big as a countertop, it seems you both just have to agree on something. You should not have to settle for something you dislike so much. Good luck!

You get a bunch of great info on this site. First Buehl asks the foremost question of who uses the kitchen the most. Then fori chimes in with a major sanity saving suggestion. BTW, my granite guys told me yesterday that the only thing that can hurt granite on a pretty consistent basis isn't knives etc... but other stones. Not suggesting anything mind you, I'm just saying....

I'd call and cancel the order. Then I'd put in plywood countertops until he came to his senses about a fair and equitable decision making process.

We got into a few rousing fights about selections until I would remind DH that getting quality, tasteful items was a heck of a lot cheaper than me getting a condo and furnishing/remodeling it with half his income and my maiden name:) Seemed to put all the silliness in perspective.

Honestly, I feel for you. Kitchens are emotional investments. The highs are great and the lows, well, not so great. If your granite is already cut, maybe you can pick some backsplash material that is so fantastic people will walk out saying 'Oh, did they HAVE a countertop?' Checkmate.

I can totally relate and can only suggest using two types of granite in the kitchen. If you don't have an island, then as a backsplash.

MY DH picked out his sleek black impala and I choose the brightly highlighted labrador blanco. It's true when opposites attract it works well, EXCEPT when remodling. Then all heck breaks loose.

I explain our differences that DH is from cave dwellers. He loves dark, would never open the blinds during the day, etc, loves dark colors. I am from plains dwellers. I love bright sunshide, am forever raising the blinds, prefer bright colors, etc. Normally this is fine. But I must admit to crying a few tears and giving up when DH was wearing me down.

In our case he cooks 60% of the time. I help him 10%, and do all of the cooking 30% of the time. If your DH is not a cooker or does so much less than you do. He does not get to decide on any choice that you can't live with. Or that doesn't excite you.

Serious hugs and lots of empathy.

Hubby and I are in that very different tastes and strong opinions camp. We have clashed on many things in this remodel and we still have the rest of the house to do.

There have been times when I've been in tears as well. I still dislike our granite and cabinet stain combo and I really, really wish I had stuck to my guns to get what I really wanted. But as a result of talking this out with Hubby, I'm winding up with a floor that I love and that will help tone down the cab color issue (which even he now admits is not quite right). I'm also getting the cabinet door style I want. Things will balance out. It's only one element among many.

It's hard but you can get through it.

thanks you guys!

the decisions along the way have been ok so far. pretty much i pick a couple of things and he usually likes one. we've had to compromise here and there. but this countertop - ugh! Even though I do all the cooking and cleaning I guess I feel that he has done alot of the remodel (the framing, the subfloor, trim, electrical). so i guess i'm feeling a little guilty about choosing something he wouldn't be happy with. In other words I'm trying to please him.

when we laid out the granite we tried to avoid most of the peach areas. there is alot of grey taupe (i think) it will be a total surprise. i don't even remember.

As for decorating he won't even touch that. I can do roosters, fruit, whatever! I will be picking the backsplash too!

I know this is my fault, but like fori said - kitchen fatigue has set in. keep your fingers crossed for me.

"We got into a few rousing fights about selections until I would remind DH that getting quality, tasteful items was a heck of a lot cheaper than me getting a condo and furnishing/remodeling it with half his income and my maiden name:)" -

That, my friends, is true wisdom.

Why did you ever bring DH along to the slab yards? When it comes to decorating, I usually pick my favorite two choices, then ask DH to select one or the other. When it came to the granite, DH got to choose honed or polished. But, seriously, you are over-stressed and we all feel your pain and have been there. When it's all done, decorative items on your counters can change the appearance too.

"We got into a few rousing fights about selections until I would remind DH that getting quality, tasteful items was a heck of a lot cheaper than me getting a condo and furnishing/remodeling it with half his income and my maiden name:)" -

That, my friends, is true wisdom.
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First - lisalisa, I am so sorry you are going through this difficult experience with your husband. Remodels can push a marriage to it's limits. I am hoping things will work out for you.

Second - regarding the mention of divorce, it's one thing if lisalisa is married to an ill-willed, mean-hearted, abusive man and if so, the problems are much bigger than different tastes.

But if he is generally a good-hearted, good-willed man, who loves and cares about her, then IMHO, I don't think it work toward the benefit of the marriage to state subtle utlimatums or if that's too strong of an interpretation, then at minimum it's a reminder that divorce *could* happen.

I think some of the solutions mentioned here are good ones - sharing what's going on internally with your spouse, figuring out who uses it more, who cares about it more, who has made the bulk of the decisions already, etc.

If it's not fair for the wife to live with granite she abhors, then likewise, it's not fair for the husband to live with granite he abhors. There is good solution, it just has to be found! I think kitchen fatigue is playing in here for sure.

I hope it's not too late lisalisa, and that you in the end, get countertops you love and that your husband can live with as well. Hang in there!

I'm sure the divorce comments are only made in jest to remind us that this isn't uncommon and it's easier if you can laugh about it.

When your mind is less kitchen obsessed, Lisa, I hope you and hubby can laugh over how kitchen fatigue got you a blah counter and an awesome backsplash (or, from hubby's perspective, a backsplash that mutes his great granite selection).

At times, I am glad my DH is color blind. He gets no input. LOL.

I agree with fori. I took the divorce comments as a joke... and it DID make me laugh, since we have had a similar discussion over our kitchen decisions.

... Hubby comes home from a long day at work....
asks how my day was.... I burst out in tears saying all these decisions are too much and I am soooo afraid of making the wrong choices.... hubby laughs, kisses my head and says "well, if it turns out terrible, I'll just divorce you" .....

Okay, not really :) he actually said he would just blame it all on me if we end up hating it. haha

I looked up your granite choice lisalisa, with the cabinets, floors, cool backsplash, etc I think you will be just fine. It's not a real strong stone and I think you will focus more on all the accents and decorating and it will just be a pleasant backdrop. Please show it to us when it is in. It may be better than you remember.

DH picked our slabs, also and while I don't LOVE them, I can work with them. I won the argument of painting his solid oak, custom (1980's) cabinets...... so I was okay with giving in on the granite.

Does DH really want to go forward with his pick when he sees how upset you are over the choice? Does he really know how upset you are with the choice?

We haven't even started our demo yet but spent over a year on the layout. He nixed everything I came up with. In the end I followed his basic wish to keep within the basic layout to avoid major major electrical and plumbing issues. I have a layout I know I'll be happy with. In return; I get to pick out whatever I want. I have no intention of bringing him along on all the jaunts I plan through various granite yards. I will do what mbarstow suggests... though DH jokes that I'll pick the opposite of whatever he suggests. In return, I went with him to Harbor Freight, International Tool, and wherever when it came to outfitting his shop. I encouraged him to buy the best quality he needed for a job. When he hemmed and hawed over the good router (he's used to picking up used tools); I just bought it for him. Point is... life is a series of gives and takes. In the end; we all know it's just a kitchen. BUT... we each have a space that's OURS. And if we're going through the headache and can afford it; then we should each be happy in our space. I would really try to see if you can put the job on hold. Give it one last shot to let DH know how unhappy you are and question why it's so important to him to over-ride a component that's so important to you. There's a good chance it's not as important to him as you think it is. Men and women think differently; and there have been many times I thought it was obvious what I was thinking/feeling and it was not to him. I had to be undoubtedly clear and explicit. It's not that he didnt' care what I thought/felt or that he was oblivious... just different perception mode... and OK... maybe a little oblivious.

juparana colombo is "grey, beige, cream" in it's description. that's very neutral so you might actually like it once it's in.

the link shows a picture for everyone to see. I couldn't find the other juparana you mentioned.

Here is a link that might be useful: Marva Marble

Lisa, both of those colors look great on my monitor. :) I like granites with that sandy look, not a ton of "movement". I found a pic of the one buddyrose couldn't find:

Here is a link that might be useful:

i broke down to DH a day later and told him how i felt. i called the granite place and they already cut the stone. (very fast turn around). i'm glad i told him even though he was a little annoyed and couldn't understand why i went along with it. my brain was just fried i guess. anyway he is happy as a pig in **** with his choice.

i attached the link you can check it out. BTW it's juparana vyara dark. i will post a better picture tomorrow since the one i have i think is a little dark.

it's here to stay. it's kinda blah with alot of grey, but i'm trying to find some nice backsplash to downplay it. Ha Ha! if anyone has any suggestions, i would appreciate it. and thanks for the hugs and laughs :)

My Dh and I had a similar experience. We'd had no real conflict in ordering thing for our new kitchen until we got to the counter top. I had some very definite ideas about what I wanted (color choices) and he did not like them at all. In fact he disparaged my choices (something he very rarely does). What he chose about made my heart stop. To say I was shocked would be an understatement. It became clear that he really liked it. For the first time in our marriage (of over 20 years - and many renovation projects) that I could see how a renovation can ruin a marriage.

After some reflection, I realized that my marriage was more important than a piece of stone. He got what he wanted.

And I'm getting used to my new counter top. I think I will come to like it. But more importantly, I still like my husband. :-)

With the really important stuff, I select two or three options that I am equally comfortable with. I then let Precious see them and make a decision. Works like a charm !

Good :-). I am glad that it was more funny than serious. Sometimes (not usually) I can be TOO serious!! I don't want anyone's marriage ending over a countertop ;-).

Lisalisa, maybe (hopefully) it will be one of those things where the delight is delayed. I had that happen with clothes - once I was given a sweater as a gift, hated it, it sat in my closet for 2 years, and then one day I realized I no longer hated it, in fact, I kinda liked it, started wearing it, and pretty soon I loved it and wondered why I didn't like it before. I know, slim chance, but we can at least hope....

you can check out my pictures. there is one idea for a backsplash. i'm wondering if that will look blah too.

not sure if the link will show up. it's giving my a problem. i keep putting it up and it doesn't work.

i will give it a try.

http://i698.photobucket.com/albums/vv343/lisalisa2009/backsplash003.jpg

http://s698.photobucket.com/albums/vv343/lisalisa2009/

Your link worked fine. No copy and paste below.

I like the backsplash idea and it is a great match (on my screen) with the granite. I think the small tiles will take the emphasis off the granite you are not crazy about because they are on a vertical plane while the granite is on the horizontal plane. I actually like that too but it's not my kitchen so I didn't pour my heart and soul into it.

Here is a link that might be useful: lisalisa2009

lisalisa.... IMO it's not so bad. I think you did a great job of eliminating the peach areas that bugged you so much. It's a pretty neutral stone and I like your backsplash choices. The pattern kind of reminds me of my inspiration kitchen. Here is a pic:

okay, so ignore that it is a white kitchen and try to look at the backsplash design :)

The way I picture my backsplash will be 3 x 6 tile (like subway but not shiny or ceramic) topped by three rows of the 1" mosaic, topped by tumbled stone set on the diagonal.

I just wanted to share because I got the vibe you might be going for that look. HTH!

The granite doesn't look blah to me at all. It looks beautiful, and it is a nice lighter contrast to the cabinets and black appliances.

The tile is pretty, too.

I think the granite is very pretty! The colors go nicely with your cabinets. Trust me....you will grow to love this granite. It works very well in your kitchen. Hugs though....I know how disapointed you must be.

Lisa, I've been following your saga. I think we've all been there during our kitchen renovations.

I have to tell you that I really like your granite! Actually, it looks just like mine, but my granite yard called it Kashmir Gold.

This too shall pass, and soon you'll be enjoying your new kitchen. Good luck!

Barb

With seeing the background you picked for your site, I can understand why you see this granite as blah. It does look nice with the cabs but agreed it doesn't have "wow" factor. I do like the backsplash you picked but is also missing a bit of "wow" (though it does help). OTOH, your cabs are so absolutely gorgeous it's not really that noticeable.

I'd suggest posting another thread asking for "wow" backsplash help. remodelfla is really, really good at picking out cool backsplashes.

One note: I have a sample of this granite (or at least one that looks a lot like it) that I use as a trivet. Now with the note that mine probably isn't sealed (as it's a sample), be aware that it absorbs oil.

I think it looks wonderful. And your cabinets are absolutely gorgeous. I'm truly sorry that it isn't what you wanted, but your kitchen is amazing, and I know you're going to love working in it.