Much depends on what level of house you've got. If it's a starter house the answer is different than if it's top-end.

We've redone a couple kitchens in getting rental houses ready to go on the market. They're starter homes, so we went with stock cabinets from Lowe's (we chose the "Cheyenne" finish over the oak and thermofoil), stock laminate counters, and inexpensive sheet vinyl flooring. Add used appliances, a SS sink and plain jane faucet, and we had a new kitchen for $2500 or so.

I would read the Real Estate ads for your area at your price point.

If the kitchens mostly have granite, and the granite is mentioned in the listing, I would consider granite.

Then I would analyze the pictures and see if it looked like it was mostly first level, big-box-store granite, and if it was that, I would choose that. At a number of price points "granite" is enough. As long as it's not overtly ugly, it doesn't matter much what it looks like.

Basically I would do whatever is appropriate to your price point and perhaps do one upgraded or interesting thing to give it an edge: nicer hardware or lighting or something that would not necessarily be expensive but would separate it from the rest. Something like a nice window, if there is a view, or access to outside would also do it.

I think you're on the right track. The folks buying watch those TV shows, too, and it seems that too many buyers expect to see granite countertops, even on lower-end homes. You can save there by using granite tiles, but I don't know how much you save.
The quality of the cabinets also depends on level of the house - I don't expect to see those thin, cheap, flexible shelving with plastic clips inside cabinets with hollow doors in a decent middle-class home. But I also don't expect custom cabinets in the latest trend either.
You can get pretty fancy glass tiles (or current trend - subway tiles) at a tile outlet for a song, which will make your backsplash look expensive even though it's not (as long as it complements your countertops).
The Kitchens forum just had a similar thread on this where you might find additional advice.

Explore what other comparable houses in your area have for kitchens.

Go to a few open houses.

If you have an RE agent in mind, ask them (or have them show you) what is on the market as your competition.

Unless you are handy and can do the whole project DIY, you're better off financially giving a buyer a 10K kitchen allowance. However, that may make the home sit on the market and increase the carrying costs over time because of the no sale. So, it's a devil's bargain as to whether or not spending money on a contractor to redo a kitchen will actually let you end up with a sale and "recoup" a dime.

The problem with the real estate shows is that they manage to do it for few thousand in materials. Some of which is probably heavily discounted because it's on TV---and then about $25,000 in free labor that they somehow either downplay or neglect to mention at all.

What style house?

Think of a simple, sleek neutral kitchen that blends well with the rest of the house ... most buyers are not going to recognize a Peacock kitchen or Van Gogh granite if it bit them in the butt. They'd say "white cabinets" and "gaudy countertop".

They will notice the appliances, granite versus laminate versus hardwood, and a nice floor. Good layout, easy access cabinets and drawers, ample storage will sell better than pops of color, ornate backsplashes and ogee molding.

Put your budget into usability.

Go to the kitchen forum ... post with a floor plan and an idea of your possible budget.