Sorry this happened to you Guvnah, but now I understand why some people are reluctant to post a link to their listing. I think for the most part people on this forum are helpful but your warning should be heeded because basically we don't know who is reading this forum. Thanks for the advice.

Guvnah, I'm not certain how you could find out, but are you sure your agent didn't trace the clicks back to this website somehow?

If indeed someone forwarded your information to your agent, that is distressing. Since these boards are not private (unregistered members can read), anyone could have forwarded your post. A google search can also bring up posts here (gardenweb is a very large community and the webcrawlers are constantly updating).

I would hate to see anyone worried about posting a link to their listing. It is the easiest way to help someone fix pictures, write-ups, flawed information, etc. If there are "tattlers" out there, I would advise agents to do a better job rather than become angry with their clients. Your case was unique because your agent was a "friend", but in a typical agent/client relationship, anything negative about the listing or the agent's job skills should be taken into account by the agent and the agent should act professionally. IMO your agent/"friend" is not acting professionally by penalizing your "friendship" for asking question regarding your real estate transaction.

Rather then a cautionary tale against posting links, we have yet another story of why a friend/ family member should not be the listing agent. Money and friendship seldom seem to mix.

xamsx - I can only address the link question. The link was to our own website that we serve & has no mention of any realtor. No way the clicks could have been read. Yes, it "could" have been found via search but I have reason to believe it was as I suspect.

Great post and very correct. Actually the rule of thumb to follow is never post, e-mail or vlog something you would never say to another in their presence. When I send e-mails I always assume that it will be seen by even the people I may be writing about. It stinks, but it will save your butt down the road. This forum also has an added risk of a post making its way to the person/company you are talking about because of the company that this board is now associated with (ivillage). Because ivillage has such a high relevance factor all of our messages will usually show up on the first page of Google searches. For instance if you post a company's name, especially one that has a web presence, you post will show up on the first page of Google when ever someones googles that company's name.

The link attached makes my point. On Friday 8/24 a poster in the pool forum posted about Water World Fiberglass pool. By Monday its on Googles first page when you enter "water world fiberglass". Thus if you want to remain anonymous, this is not the forum for that.

People come here to get information. I know I do. Any thoughts that I post at this board could be questions on my own house for sale; as I knew nothing about real estate or some of the questions I've seen. I am learning.

The problem with the internet and message boards is that there is no voice to go along with the post. If we are in a bad mood, an innocent post can read otherwise. There are days when I read stuff only to come back later and have the post take on a different meaning depending on my mood.

I don't feel that anything posted here is anything for any agent to take as negative. They are questions that Joe or Mary Public have, and are trying to get more knowledge about. We try to get as much information as we can so that the sale of our houses go smoothly. We also try to find the right agent for us, so that we can live with our decision, whether it be 3 months or 6. We like to make sure we understand everything in advance.

Places like here are a valuable tool for those of us buying & selling. I can't begin to say how much I've learned here. If people stopped posting questions because they worried someone was going to turn around and use it against them, then heck, most of the posts here wouldn't exist. How would we learn then?

xamsx - I can only address the link question. The link was to our own website that we serve & has no mention of any realtor. No way the clicks could have been read. Yes, it "could" have been found via search but I have reason to believe it was as I suspect.

If you use that name in your email addy, it's possible that it was googled with a link to the posts here. Then again, you have a unique property, so the only one that really knows is the agent.

I hope that with time the agent sees the post for what it was.

What you might want to do is save the post, then email gardenweb to have it removed. It doesn't need to stay there.

btw, I'm sorry this happened

I am sorry that this happened to you...and I very much appreciate your sharing this with everyone as it is important that folks keep this in mind, that such an occurrence is always a possibility, whenever anything is put out in the public domain...via writing, photos, video, audio recordings, etc....

That said, the only answer is to pose the questions in a neutral way, in order that the specifics not be identified......and hope for the best.

However, any communication that takes place that is not somehow legally protected (such as attorney/client - doctor/patient) is always at risk.

I hope this works out for you when all is said and done....and that your friend will come to realize that you were only doing all that you can to fully understand the process and to use that information to make the right decision...and not to hurt your friend in any way.

Best wishes.

Sorry that happened to you. Maybe the person that sent that link should repent and also forward this one to at least try to make up for the damage they did.

I try not to share too much information to give things away, but I think at times we all slip and provide too much if somebody really wants to find out they can. It is just like anywhere in life some people are just mean-spirited and looking for trouble that they can cause without being found out. Internet makes it a little easier for those people, but if you have the e-mail they sent it isn't that hard to track them down either.

I agree some people are just looking to stir things up. I'm sure that same person didn't forward any of the flattering, nice, comments I've posted about my former realtor in other people's threads.

I agree that I could probably figure out what happened. But that's really not the issue - damage done. I hate it that I caused someone that I care about pain or embarrasment, but It certainly wasn't intentional. I've apologized and that's the best I can do.

Hmmm....

Well, I think your 'friend' needs to realize that while he/she is a professional, this is a very new area to you, and you are right to be cautious and ask questions.

Only in RE do I see things like this come up. How insulted is your doctor friend going to be if you request a second opinion? Or your lawyer? And does it really matter?

If you need more information, you should be able to request it.

And yes, I do intend to ask questions regarding specific things, such as percentages, dual agency, etc.....

Send your friend a token gift such as a bottle of wine, or a good book, explain your actions (without emotion), in a letter, and leave it to your friend to behave as they will.

Good luck!

~Christina

Boy, I am so sorry that this happened to you.
I had a very similar incident happen to me several years ago that came very close to having a very negative impact on my career. While I am now much more careful, it helps to be reminded, unfortunately at your expense, not to slip into a too comfortable posting pattern.

guvnah, I believe I just read the thread that must have caused this issue. I do not believe you caused someone you cared about any pain or embarrasment. You asked a simple question, checked your contract as per advice here and found the answer. If someone forwarded the ENTIRE thread, I can't imagine "a friend/professional" would have taken offense unless they felt they were wrong in the first place. I am very sorry this happened to you and I hope the friend/professional realizes this, contacts you and makes ammends.

WOW...thanks for the Head's Up!!!!!!

Who knew???????

I too am sorry this happened to you. I am the one who posted that I also live in the area, but I assure you, I have no idea who your realtor friend is and didn't forward the post to them. I still don't see how anyone even knew the realtor since there are no links to the agency and the property isn't listed now.

oh Marti8a!!! I knew it would not have been you!!!!!! You're my howdy neighbour!

Thanks guvnah, I appreciate it. Though you don't know me & I figured I would be the main suspect.

Marti8a - absolutely no problem! I sincerely apologize for inadvertently putting you on the hot seat, but I never for one minute thought you would do this. There are other people on the forum from around here + as others have said, it's *possible* that the posts were found in a search........

To all: I only posted this to remind everybody of what can happen. It's not intended as a witch hunt.... I'm disappointed by what happened, but it won't keep me from posting. I might get a new ID though.....haha!

Thanks guvnah, I appreciate it. Though you don't know me & I figured I would be the main suspect.

You were the last person I would think of... seriously, you guys were posting, saying hi, etc.

I might get a new ID though.....haha!

I think that's a good idea, so that if you do need to come back to ask a question you can.

btw, I did see some of your other posts where you praised the agent. I was telling the last one I interviewed that we were going to go with a friend but I'd read so many horror stories and maybe 2 good. You were one of the good.

Guvnah, I am really sorry that posting here had negative repurcussions for you. When I was selling I never linked my listing (although a couple of people found it and commented on it anyway when I referred a poster to my (2nd) Realtor, which I thought was a little creepy). I have seen Garden Web posts on Google many times when I was doing other searches, so nothing posted here is by any means "private".

And I also have to make a small correction in your OP: "One Bad Apple" wasn't recorded by the Jackson Five but by the Osmonds, in the early 70's (yep, I'm old).

Wow - laura1202 - you learn something new every day! When I did a search (to make sure I had the lyric correct) I did one bad apple + jackson five and got the lyrics. Thanks for the info - who knows when it will come in handy again - haha!