Oh You poor thing!! I agree pretty things should be seen and used every day and will only become more lovely with age. my MIL purchased a 10k dining table with the most beautiful rosewood inlay(well atleast the 2inch corner i saw was) only to cover it with a polyester table cloth walmart. I think you mentioned in a previous thread that your dh loves the wood in your home maybe play on that love to let the table be uncovered? Good luck!

"white plastic table pads to put under a tablecloth"
Hmm... I can't visualize what this is. I was thinking plastic cover for over the tablecloth at first but aren't the pads coverd under the tablecloth? Are you wanting to use it without the tablecloth but can't/don't want to because of the pads?

I also agree pretty things should be used. Do you both want to use the table or is it more him because it came from his parents? I ask this because you mention it's out of style... Since you're going to keep the table, maybe it's something you guys could compromise on. You know, the table stays but I would prefer we use it this way.

If the idea is that things are pretty, so you want to take care of them to keep them nice, that is fine.

But covering them up doesn't make them pretty, it makes them ugly. If you never get to see them without the sheets and pads and cloths, then what difference does it make if they are pretty and nice, or junky? Who will ever get to appreciate that they are nice if they are always covered up and ugly?

Does he really think that a table covered in pads and a cloth is as pretty as seeing the wood?

Does he really think that carpeting or furniture covered in plastic is as pretty as the fabric or carpeting?

That would be like buying a nice winter coat and wearing it covered with the plastic garment bag it came in, or getting a new car and driving it around with a car cover on it.

Things will get used, and get changed by that use. But I think of that as symbolic of the pleasure and memories that come from living with and using things. Things covered in plastic and sheets and hidden away are things unloved and unappreciated.

I would just suggest to him that you are going to wrap him in plastic because you don't want him to get ruined.

Ok, I was not laughing until I read Oly's response then I lost it! LMAO.

I totally understand because there are times my husband will be ridiculously cautious with things. This is obviously what he's been brought up to do and breaking that mindset can be challenging. I would just caution you on how you approach it. You don't want to tell him his way is wrong since that's what he was taught to do as a kid.

I would just tell him that removing the covers and being able to see the pieces will make you happy. My husband doesn't get the whole decorating thing but whenever I put things to him that way, he's always happy to oblige me.

I know what your table pads are. My folks and my in laws had them. MIL always put them on between the table and the table cloth. Since the table was only used for "special occasions" it sat w/o its leaves un-adorned most of the time. How old are you? Unless you are in your 20's I would suggest to your husband that the time for 'saving' the table is past. His parents made it through their entire married life with just this one table, so all the protection was worth it, to them. I would suggest at this point in your life the table will make it with or with out its coverings..and promise to use them when you actually USE the table at holidays when you would have a table cloth on it anyway.
My dad went INSANE and put a high gloss, hard as nails poly on his..RUINED the table IMHO...but now theirs is uncovered most of the time.

My now ex-husband came into our marriage with that kind of baggage from his mother. It took years and years and years of work to un-do it.

I find myself doing silly things my mother did.

Every time he puts the table pads on the table I would cover it with a cloth.....get a couple of BIG cloths..so much the better if they reach to the floor.
Explain to him that the plastic is ugly and meant to be covered with a cloth.
My mother brought it home for me....we got a new sofa that came with arm covers, and I was struggling to keep them in place when the kids kept knocking them off. She told me to put them away. I said but the arms of furniture wear out first. She said when they wear out then get out the arm covers!!
I used to know someone who always had plastic runners on the carpet and sheets on the sofa and chairs. If you would drop by to deliver a book or something, she would say..."Come in and sit down"....and then whip the sheet off of the sofa! LOL!

What is he trying to protect it from? Unless you have cats, it won't get hurt by not having the table pads on it daily.

Oly, too funny. At least I didn't choke on my breakfast!

I was going to ask age also, at least decade. He could be getting dementia or Alzheimer's.

Maybe it's just that the table is important to him as it came from his parents? Did they use the table when he was growing up? If so, perhaps he got the notion from them that it needed to "be protected". I'd just explain to him that the pads are for when the table is actually in use with a tablecloth.

tina

Tell him the wood needs to breathe and the plastic may hurt it.

(I doubt that this is true, but sounds good...)

ML

What about having a piece of glass cut to fit the top of the table? That would protect the table, but hopefully save your sanity regarding the ugly plastic protectors.

I have a friend who's parents came to live with him when they got older. His mother covered every chair and sofa in his living room with sheets, ugly sheets. I have never seen them without the sheets. I think it might be because of the dog but it looks horrible.

I do have those arm covers on several chairs. I think I will remove them and only put them back if the arms wear out. Good idea!

Have lots of brunches, lunches and dinner parties ... take lots of photos of the table being used, loved and enjoyed -- DO use the table and enjoy it! :)

My parents had a gorgeous MCM oil finish walnut dining room table. My Mom had those thick padded table protectors that were used under table cloths. We had 6 kids and I remember that when the last 2 were younger they would do there homework at that table. She always kept those pads on. Good thing too, cause now the table still looks great almost 60 year after she bought it. With only adults around, it's safe now :) There are always trade offs!

I took off the arm covers! The chairs look better.

OMG! My husband has a secret life and a second home/family-either that or he and your husband were separated at birth! In our house, the table pad is that old brown leather on one side and soft felt on the other. All the chairs are covered to keep the dogs off the upholstery, sheets are laid out on the carpet in the living room...it is a nightmare.

Periodically, I pull everything off and enjoy a day of everything being naked. It's lovely and I do like my house on those days. By evening, he has everything covered again. My mother was always the one who kept things unused and "for good" which meant holidays. I take care of things, but I believe in using and enjoying.

I say, let's revolt! I am uncovering everything as soon as I post this! Life is meant to be lived and enjoyed.

Oh...and I am taking off the arm covers, too!!!

Here is a link that might be useful: Revolution

I suggest a compromise.

I just spent a ridiculous amount of money on new furniture because we bought a house. No room is even 100% finished yet but people have already 1) pawed the curtains 2) wiped their feet on the Tibetan rug in my hallway 3) stained a velvet chair and 4) stained a new dining room chair (which I was recovering anyway so I didn't panic) after only one use.

So, you bet your bippy I'm protecting my furniture.

The tables all have glass covers. I was worried about the grandma vibe, but I've already seen people drop wine glasses on the DR table, so the glass stays. The good news is, it actually takes people a minute to realize there's glass on there--it just looks like highly polished wood. You do need to pony up for tempered, however, and specify "no bug/no logo" so you don't have little strips of writing announcing the glass.

For the couches, how about some throws that the two of you use when you're watching TV or whatnot?

This is the compromise: He can protect things, but the protection must be either unobtrusive or attractive. And they can't stay on all the time. You can still save your couch a lot of wear and tear just by keeping a throw on it for TV-watching and snack-munching. But letting other people see covers on your upholstery is as bad as wearing curlers in public.

Unless small children are visiting. Then cover everything in tarps and Saran wrap.

Something to consider....your DH was probably brought up with the understanding that these items were expensive and precious. And they may have been. But they are now just used vintage furniture.

Maybe take him to some resale shops or estate sales so he can see that the $$ value of the table and chairs is probably only $400 at most. Maybe that will help him ease up and just enjoy them as is.

I enjoyed all your responses. For those who asked, the table protectors are made by the manufacturer to fit the table exactly. They are about 1/3 inch thick, felt on one side and white vinyl (think shower curtains) on the other. They come in three pieces and fold up to fit in the closet between dinners. By the way, hubby is 58. So am I but I think we grew up in different eras! At your suggestions, I did talk to him tonight (after he had a beer) and told him it depressed me to see all our nice things under messy, wadded up sheets, and who were we saving the wood for? He agreed to disagree but gave in because I feel so strongly about it. I promised to cover them whenever I used the table, etc. He just seems sad now. Said he never saw that table uncovered growing up. One of you gave me an idea - it would be like covering his Firebird with plastic while he drove around town. It is much more expensive AND likely to get dinged!!!!! By the way, the couch he loves to cover is one that we bought used, and about 8 years ago I reupholstered it with fabric from the outlet store. Thanks for your thoughtful suggestions, you were right about going easy on him!

My dog is currently wiping her face on our brand new sofa. I'm a firm believer that things should be used, though we don't have any kids. I am very protective of our dining room table though, so I worry about what's going to happen when kids come along. Maybe we'll need a pad and table cloth for a few years.

I'm a firm believer that things should be used,

It depends what you mean by "used." Sit upright at a dining table with a napkin on your lap? Or get up and wrap the silk curtains around your torso because you like them so much? Move the obviously expensive throw pillows aside and then relax on the clearly more durable, comfy, meant-to-be-enjoyed couch--or drop an open razor blade and a towel wet with ammonia on a new velvet chair?

I'm starting to think the best protection for my furniture is not opening my door.

The same piece of dental floss for a WEEK? *insert gagging noise/face*
That is just wrong.

I also second the idea of buying some inexpensive (but nice looking) throws for your upholstered furniture. I do understand that sometimes pets, children, or sun can damage furniture. My parent purchased some throws to cover some of the nice sofas where the sun beats down or where the dog likes to lay. I even bought some extra side chairs to place in a corner to prevent my dog from laying against my cream silk curtains. I think the key is to find minimally intrusive ways to protect the things you love so that you can still enjoy them.

I'm glad to hear you discussed the issue with your husband. I think it's very common to have fundamental differences in preferences of how to live when you're living with someone. If you both have an understanding of one another's needs and desires, hopefully you can find some middle ground. It sounds like a very reasonable compromise to keep the table uncovered, but cover it while in use to protect it.

If he seems sad..(awwww) what you could do is use a pretty table cloth at times.

I have a nice DR table, but I adore table cloths. There are beautifut table cloths out there now, made of 100% cotton so the wood can "breathe."

I think it's common sense to let wood breathe. Table pads are meant to be used when you intend to set hot serving dishes on the table, and you place the table cloth on top.

I do that at big holidays where there's a lot of hot platters, etc.

Your husband's parents come from an era where it was common to cover everything! lol

We just bought a 20-year old motorhome and marveled that the previous owners left the plastic on the carpet. It was kinda convenient knowing DH wouldn't worry about spots on the carpet, but he took the plastic off anyway. Now we can enjoy the pink(!) flooring to the fullest! :P

If it will make you feel any better, my DH comes in from whatever dirty place he has been and plops his sweaty self down on my upholstered furniture, my dry-clean only coverlet, etc.

I don't know which is worse day-to-day, but I know which one lets you end up with a clean, attractive room one day 5 years later.

Jamies, that is my dh too. I asked him to only sit in his recliner when he is dirty and when it gets to the point that I can smell it when he's not in it, out it goes.

I kind of chuckle at this topic. My Grammy had an immaculate home. She had a 12 foot custom made white sofa in the living room, a dining room that had a custom linen mural imported from Italy on the walls, and other sumptuous things in and around her home. And it was the house EVERYONE gathered at. But she never fretted about the children playing with their toys on the glass coffee table or the men with their glasses of wine on the sofa. She knew that it was really about family, and not stains. She knew that she could clean it up later, but what was important is that the family gathered and loved.

Compared to my mom's best friend, her house was shrink wrapped! I loved her house, it was sooo beautiful, but her kids were neurotic. They weren't allowed to run & play and get dirty. She chased after them with a wash cloth. Children were not allowed in the living room or near the grand piano unless they had washed up and had on clean clothing AND were supervised closely by adults. She didn't allow the adults to bring their beverages in that room, either.

As for me, I have five dogs. They live in my house. My husband works with concrete and doesn't know the meaning of remove your shoes. I keep my house neat, but know that I'd rather be comfy and loving than so uptight I can't enjoy what I have. I've lost a few things that meant something to me, but it was just things. And as for my DH...I'd rather him sit his dusty self on the sofa and me gripe about it, than to face the day that he's not there, leaving his shoes in my way and wiping his hands on the pillows.

Was his sister a Nanny?

Has he always wanted to protect the furniture or is this a fairly new behavior? I could be way off base, but I'm just wondering if the fact his Mother has Alzheimers is playing a part in his (subconscious) choice to protect things that were hers.