I think the big center letter is the family last name, the first letter is the first initial of the wife, the last letter is the first letter of the husband....usually.

...so if the napkins are for William and Sherry Jones, it will read; SJW, the J being larger then the other two.

ML

When buying anything monogrammed for a couple, the middle initial is their last name with the two side initials being the first name of each. For example John & Mary Brown would be or perhaps . Now, if they have different last names, I'm not sure what I'd end up doing.
Lynn

Maddielee and Lynn,
Of course!! Why didn't I think of that? A couple of years ago, I typed up a wedding program for a friend's daughter and on the front she wanted the arrangement that both of you mentioned. You would think that would have stuck in my memory somewhere. Thanks so much for your replies.

I was brought up that the monogram is always the woman's, so our monogrammed linens (napkins / towels / bedding), our china (with my family crest) and initialed sterling flatware have mine mine mine. I'm assuming it comes from the days of a trousseau when things were prepared years in advance of nuptials, when husband was not yet known. FYI: I'm 40.

Wait: my children have their initials monogrammed on their linens, but in the rest of the house it's mine.

Additionally, my partner and I each have our own surnames and our children's are hyphenated, so it wouldn't work for us anyway.

In a couple's monogram, traditionally the man's first initial is on the left, the last name in the middle, and the woman's first initial on the right.

Thanks, Rmkitchen and Les. I thought I remembered something about the woman's initials, too, but wasn't sure what I remembered. Anyway, a friend of a friend's sister knows a lady who does beautiful monograms at a very reasonable price. I'm calling her today about doing some napkins and a table runner for gifts. If her prices are truly "reasonable," I may be seeing a new treat in my own future. Would love a monogrammed lampshade. Thanks again for your helpfulness.

I've never heard or seen the husband FAMILY wife format. Only wife FAMILY maiden/middle name. I think 1 initial is enough.

Ideefixe,
I like the one initial, but I wanted to make the Christmas gift napkins a little more special and even more personal. On the runner, I'll have only the last initial. I never even thought about "couple's monogram" until a few people mentioned it here so I googled it. And "traditionally," it's like rmkitchen said using the wife's initials. The "modern" take (which explains why I'm in left field) is to show the initials of wife, couple's last name, husband. I think I'm going with traditional--my sister-in-law would never understand the modern version.

I wouldn't get a monogrammed runner....that's over kill. If you want something extra get more napkins or some of a different size.
And be sure the place you are ordering from is using embroidery and not a painted stamp....that's tacky!
And white on white is the nicest I think.
What a lovely gift!
Linda C

Lindac,
How is a runner overkill? I hope it's that my post was not entirely clear since I didn't specify that the runner is a separate gift for someone else and you interpreted it to mean that the runner and napkins will go on the same table (which I agree might be a little much).

Monogrammed linens are usually things that are multiples and utilitarian stuff....napkins, table cloths, sheets, pillow cases and towels....as well as silver and china of course.....and occasionally crystal stemware. But decorative things like candlesticks, table centerpieces, footed compotes....and table runners are usually not monogrammed.
I would be uncomfortable with a gift of a table runner with my initials monogrammed on it but I would be delighted with a set of luncheon napkins with that same embroidery.

My great grandmother's was trousseau style with her initials and maiden name only. aCm

My grandmother's is a mix of her initials, maiden name or married name mMr or mO'Br

My mother's is mSr although she was given one or two things that said mSd, with my father's first initial being the last. My mom did not really like these thing particularly since one set was bridge cloths and my dad did not play bridge.

It was my understanding since this type of thing is Primarily the woman's, IF the husband's initial appears it is to the right of the last name, ladies first.

If this is towels, there can be a full monogram, a set for the wife and a set for the husband with their complete monograms, and same for pillow cases if they are the only thing monogrammed. Table linens would be all the same, but individual use items like napkin rings could have personal monograms rather than just the hostess's.

I think monograms especially napkins are darling and I personally think white on white is the most elegant and understated. You don't want to flaunt the monograms! I also collect silver napkin rings and I prefer names but will purchase some with monograms -- those are individual monograms not a couples monogram for those were personal items. And I'll buy a silver serving piece because it DOES have a monogram on it -- those usually are just an initial but occasionally, you'll find a threesome. And yes, those usually are just the bride's.

Your friend will think you're wonderful!

Martha

Thanks, Palimpsest. My husband and I have individual monogrammed towels, but our pillowcases just have our last initial. If I were giving a gift to a young couple, I might choose the couple's monogram but for friends around my age (empty nesters crowd), I think the traditional (bride of many years) is more in line with our thinking.

Martha, First off, I love your blog!! I like the white-on-white napkins, too. I also love to engrave silver pieces but I only have things with our last initial.

Lindac, what can I say? I'm afraid I'm going to have to remove your name from my Christmas list. The last thing I want to do is give you a gift you'd be uncomfortable with. The table runner is a simple linen thing (similar to what Pottery Barn has and YES, they offer monogramming for it) that my friend will love. She'll love the M on it and she'll love it because it's from a dear friend. My sister-in-law will be very pleased with her napkins and will make a point of having them on the table the next time we're there for a meal.

Personally, I like the couple's initials for the monogram and that's what I've seen most often around here. I do like a single letter monogram. I only have stuff with my initials for the monogram if it's my personal items.

The napkins sound like a great idea!

tina

Thanks, Tina. We have several things with the single last initial. And like you my personal things (jewelry, purse, my towel, etc.) have my initials. (I did, however, go ahead and buy myself a set of napkins when I bought my sister-in-law's set and will have them monogrammed with my 3 initials.)