I think an all white kitchen (if that's what you like) is what you should do. If you want contrast, what about the island being a darker color? Much easier to change later, if you grow tired of it.

Playing in the garden is never a bad idea :)

I know how you feel. You need to make a decision and then not look back, I've looked back before and it just creates more anxiety. That said I think that if you are still second guessing then you might be happier doing what you've wanted all along, and that is white cabinets. Write a list of what the issues are, give yourself a time limit, then make a decision without looking back. Good luck!

If you're so unhappy that you have lost your enthusiasm to see it finished, then going all white seems to be the definite right answer! Good luck - I hope that soon you will love your kitchen.

If you are feeling dread to the point of stopping work, paint them! I was the reverse, always wanted a cherry kitchen and nearly got swayed by the beautiful white kitchens pictured here and in magazines. In the end I realized white wasn't "me" and I should go with my gut and get the cherry. Go with your gut. Cabinets are probably the biggest investment of time, money, and permanence in a kitchen, not easily changed like a back splash or faucet. Your dh is a peach to be so understanding.

If a white kitchen has been your dream for years, then you should go with it and paint the cabinets. I'm sure you will not regret your decision and wish you had kept the brown cabinets. Good luck and go with your heart!

Can they work on other things for the rest of the week? Give you some breathing room? If you can buy yourself a little time, try to get away from all things kitchen, and turn your mind away whenever you start thinking kitchen. Have a little mental vacation playing in your garden.

If you can't do that, listen to yourself:

I am going to cry!
I had dreamed of a white kitchen for years
my DH wore me down
he has said he'll be OK if I switch to painted cabinets

Has your husband been dreaming of a dark kitchen for years and years? Or is he just a guy being a guy and thinking stained looks a lot better? I'm thinking for him to wear you down and change his mind, at the final minute, because of how unhappy you are, it means he really likes his choice but it's really not as important to him as it is to you, and not as important to him as your happiness. If he doesn't do more than half the (indoor) cooking, then you're fine.

How about painting the island and back wall cabinets first so you can see what they look like in place? If you don't just love them you can go back to plan A.

Believe it or not, paint can be removed and stain applied if you really really really think you really really really made a mistake. It's work, time and money, but it can be done.

If the doors aren't yet milled you should be ok. Maple holds paint better than oak apparently. You could leave a bank of cabs dark for a nice contrast.

I'd go with the dark stained wood cabinets (which IMO look better anyway!) and use this whole incident to get some major concession from your DH somewhere down the line in return....

I think pllog gave you some very good advice. From my perspective, it sounds like you really do want white.
It helps me sometimes to know why I am leaning one way as opposed to another. I had a difficult time choosing between wood or white. I really do love them both. In the end, I realized that I love seeing the grain of wood, but wanted most of all a light color in my kitchen. (the sweeby test) I sorted out all of the reasons why wood and why painted until I could tell what mattered most to me.
Sometimes, my decisions were difficult, because I wanted to please both myself and my DH, but in the end, realized he cared, but not as much as me!
Best of luck with your decision making!

I also vote go with your dream. I think if you are now dreading this project your heart isnt in it anymore because deep down it isnt what you want but what others want. That almost happened to me...but now everyone knows I really want painted cabinets...now I just have to decide which shade or cream/white..which is a whole other story!

What Plllog said, absolutely. It sounds like you are really disappointed about the loss of your dream kitchen. Your husband has noticed this and is willing to go with your dream since it's more important to you than it is to him. He sounds like a considerate, loving man who values your happiness! He gets major props. Let him make this concession. Every time you admire that lovely white kitchen, it will warm your heart to be reminded of how much he loves you. This can only lead to good things. :-)

Happy Painting!

Cj

I got some great advice from my KD when I was waffling between two granites. She said to just pick one, any one. If the feeling I got once I chose left me still undecided, not quite thrilled, then it's probably the wrong one, but if I felt happy, relieved, enthused, then it was the right one. You get a "that's the one I really wanted" feeling, and you know it's the right choice.

But I think you already know the choice that will give you that feeling.

A friend bowed to her husbands choice of wood cabinets and tile floors when what she really wanted was white cabs with wood floors. She's ok with it, but she'll have to wait another 20 years before she gets the kitchen she wants. She's the main cook in the house, and all I can say is he's got a MUCH nicer wife than my DH!

Sugar Maple's advice is excellent, for all kinds of things.

I'd like to add: If neither choice gives you that thrilled feeling that you've got the right one, keep looking.

I love the white kitchens - but the style would just not be right in our house. So, we chose cherry beaded inset with dark granite top - and I love it! The look is warm and rich. No regrets!

What if you changed just the uppers to white and left the lowers dark? It will give you the light feeling of a white kitchen, but still feel grounded and warm (and hubby will be happy too).

We've been doing a total gut and rebuild of our house - starting in 2004, so we've been at this a looonnnggg time.

DH admitted that the main reason he wanted to go with stained is becuase he thought it would make things go quicker, and he also just wanted the decision to be "made" as he honestly thought I was not asking his opinion, but asking him to decide.

He does get his way about a lot of things - that is why we have a white house with dark green trim, and why the upper level has a cabin/rustic feel. I've got way more green in my house than I would ever have chosen on my own, but it is fine.

Normally I'm very laid back about stuff like this. I rarely "fall in love" with ideas/things or plans with the kitchen. That is one reason I thought I'd be OK with stained cabinets, but I guess this is one of the rare times I actually feel strongly about something.

Several years ago I was shopping with my adult daughter - I found a statue that really spoke to me, but I didn't want to spend the $75 (though I could afford it). My daughter told me that when I find something that speaks to me, I should just buy it, as she knows how rare it is for that to happen.

DH would rather have me happy in my kitchen (with the resulting bread, cassaroles, pies, cakes and all the food preservation I do) than have stained cabinets. He might feel different if he was the one that had to do the painting/staining, but he is not allowed near a paint brush!

Thanks for your support.

Cathy

I'd still start with the uppers and see what you think about leaving the lowers stained ;-)

Macybay,
Oh you poor thing. You are beating yourself up and wishing
for your white. It sounds like your DH is very supportive
and just a simple guy who wants the kitchen for function.
I think you need to listen to your daughter. Sometimes we
moms forget to care for ourselves. We go along and make
everything right for our children our husband ... and
we forget to spoil ourselves. Making your kitchen white
will help you to enjoy being there. And every time you walk
into your white space you will have a smile of joy at the
love and peace it brings you.
Go for it. Paint it and make your white dream come true.
~boxer

I think dark wood cabinets are beautiful and when I toured the model of my home that is what they had with a gorgeous beige/gold granite countertop. I loved the style of the home instantly on coming in the door. The size and layout of the kitchen was just a dream for me....BUT...

I wanted white and that is what I went with. If you have a passion for white, then you have to go with the feeling, as although wood tones look great, they will not meet the attraction and love you have to white. I agree with boxer that you will get joy and peace out of being in your white kitchen. GO FOR IT!!!

Oh Cathy, I am sooo sorry. I love my stained cabninets. That being said, at this stage of the game (my cabinets are in, but no doors yet), if looking at someone else's cabinets "made my heart" bleed because I wanted that so much more? Then I picked the wrong cabinets for me.

I too planned for years and years, and I can't imagine what it would be like to look at my in-progress kitchen right now and not be in love with it. If it makes you that sad, then get out that paint brush and don't look back. You're going to have to look at this for too long of a time to not be in love with it. A kitchen is suppose to be a happy joyful place to be in. Not a place that makes you want to cry.

WHAT did you decide to do??? Please answer, I am dying to know!!!