Oh, you mean cooking. ;)

It's hard for me to say as my kids are still very young, and I've always enjoyed cooking. Before kids, I only seriously cooked about every other day because we had leftovers from the days I cooked. The little ones help us not to have leftovers as often. Cooking life seems different to me now also because I chose to be a SAHM 2 years ago when DD was born. Now that I'm home cooking every meal, it feels like I spend a lot of the day in the kitchen--breakfast, snack, lunch, snack, dinner, dishes.....

Seasonally, I'd say I cook probably about the same all year. During the summer months we have loads of produce from our garden and CSA box to prepare, but we can also grill outdoors which, in my house, is a blue job so less work for me. In the winter, I have less of a produce abundance, but cook more indoors because winter grilling is a very wet affair in my part of the world.

PS. Please quit reminding me of the very sad fact that my little munchkins will some day be as old as yours and leaving me!!! I still can't believe my oldest just turned 6! I want them little forever. :(

You know what, bigger is great too. My oldest turned 14 yesterday. And I tell her -- and mean it -- every year just keeps getting better.

I will never forget watching a pre-walking baby struggling on her stomach, every single fiber of her being working harder than I can imagine working, trying desperately to organize and coordinate everything that needs it, in order to walk. I think it's all just better from there on out. It was hard being an infant and we just get happier and larger-striding and more comfortable.

Least-ways, to mid-life, I can't say what comes next. But I say it and mean it to my teens as they age and tell me, periodically, that they're sad to grow older. I take that as a bit of a reproof that I haven't conveyed to them how wonderful they seem to me in the here and now. They seem to think that because I find babies so irresistible they no longer are. And it just isn't so. The babies are the acme, and it just keeps getting better.

I mean that. Just like I mean it that they are both, simultaneously the best thing in the entire world, it is possible for them to have reached the ultimate in wonderfulness as babies, and yet still get better every year.

OK, this is really over the top, I know. But I believe it. The only thing that surpasses the tragedy of losing your little one is gaining a bigger one in her place. Logic is overrated.

So where were we? Yes, lots of cooking when they're little -- older parents, was there more or less when the kids aged? How about after they leave and there's all that time once again?

Wow what a timely subject Aliris . I am going to share the note that my middle son, he is 34 , just sent tonight at 1:30 AM to me. Cooking in our home as always been the center of our lives. I used to be a SAHM too. We never had 2 salaries and we were lucky to be able to be there for our kids.
I didn't go back to work till the boys were older and DD had them to take care of her.

The biggest volume of cooking in our home was when the kids were at home. I baked every day and ran a food coop out of our garage. I sold my breads. Whew there was always something coming out of the oven.

We then went through only a very few years with an empty house. My Mom lived with us and also our oldest DS1 and DIL moved in. Then they moved out and DS2 moved in. Then Momma passed and then DS1 moved out. We weren't alone until 2006. Then DS2 and DIL moved back for a few months in 2009. So now we are alone.

DH does almost all the main meal cooking. We each do our own breakfast and most days he makes our lunch. I do all the bread baking so that is usually only once every week as I freeze it.He makes all the desserts now and is loving his cake and cookie baking...me not so much with the waist line LOL.

So as to "over the top". I have been feeling lost these days and just not sure where I am in the world. I expressed this to my DS2...my sleepless nights in AL :) Here is what this amazing 34 yr old son sent to me.DS1 is "C" and is 36 and DD is " M" and is the baby that just turned 29 last week !! So yes ...it just keeps getting better....I am a very lucky Mom.

"Mom, you need to stop worrying about all of that. I'm sitting here cooking a delicious dinner for myself, listening to jazz and enjoying the breeze blowing through my window from beautiful San Diego because of YOU!!!! I have leaned on you SO many times over the years and guess what? You have ALWAYS been there!!! I love you so much. I owe everything that I have to you and dad! Both! I talk to other people and hear about their families and upbringing and I ALWAYS feel like I had it better. If there were mistakes made when you were a young mother with 2/3 hellion kids to deal with, so be it!!! Who hasn't made mistakes? And you I both know what a hellion I have ALWAYS been. Your kids are in the 99th percentile and we always have been C is amazingly talented and passionate. M is the most loving, caring and charismatic woman I've ever met. One of these days I'm going to find something I'm good at, and I get the feeling I'm going to be REALLY good at it. I'm hoping i'm just a late bloomer :) Sleep at night mom. You have done a better job than can be expected of anyone, and you're still doing it."

C--you should be so proud. Yours sound like wonderful children. That note made me tear.

I'm a SAHM to three, aged 4, 3, and 6 months.

I just cried :)

Katie

a kitchen thread that made me tear up. :-)

my babies are 4, 7, 8, and 11.

I currently live in the kitchen. Most days I find when I go upstairs at night that I haven't been there since I left the bedroom in the morning.

I don't see that changing anytime soon.

Our volume has gone up. And my commitment to real food vs. convenience has exponentially changed.

trailrunner - thank you for sharing your note from your son. how beautiful. and frameworthy... print it out and stick on your bathroom mirror. Every day will have an amazing beginning!

C

I thank Aliris and breezy for posting such great notes and the perfect timing.

My DH and I are very lucky. DH just got to see the note this AM....he sleeps :) His first words were...make sure and keep this !

Great idea to frame it. We can all use reminding that our children are a product of our making...for the most part...and that we can and should be proud of them and not just suffering worry and angst. I need that reminder for sure.

I am just so glad that this thread was started and that we can all benefit from the sharing of this community. c

My kids are all grown up (physically anyhow,) and on their own. I cook much less than when I needed dinner for 6 most nights, but now that it is just for the 2 of us, I make more interesting and better meals. I don't have to worry about pleasing everyone, everyday. I often have dinner parties now with our group of friends and I have a good time planning and cooking and people sit at my table for 2-3 hours, eating and talking. Sometimes we have pot lucks and I can go for quality, rather than quantity. Life changes and good things happen. My new kitchen is planned for the 2 of us. The kids will love it because they want us to be happy too.

my babies are grown, and live too far away. When they were preschool I stayed at home most of the time, and I did all the cooking. It wasn't all that demanding as they were home, no working around different schedules and they also ate what I made them (no "but Billy's mom . . ." around our place).

As they got older, I went back to work and we switched to more quick to make foods and more frozen, though I was particular about what I bought. For a while, I was working nights so made dinner before I went to work, and DH could just heat it up when he and the kids got home in the afternoon.

As they got to be older teens, they started doing more and more of their own cooking, lots of pasta dishes as they are pretty fast, and other hamburger based meals, though the meat was from the butcher, not the grocery store.

I have been accused by both my childern for "ruining them" as when they left home, they discovered they didn't like what most of their friends thought was "good" food - prepackaged store bought stuff.

During those years, the kitchen was pretty bare bones. Easy access to the microwave, fridge and an oven with few options was all we needed. No one had much time for any elaborate baking. Easy clean up was a major factor.

Now my kitchen is MY kitchen, and I remodeled it to fit what I've found I enjoy doing at this point in my life, which is learning how to bake all sorts of neat things. The nearest relative is over 400 miles away, and the nearest child is over 1,200 miles away.

The kitchen needs now are very different from when we had a household of two working adults and two teens. I'd say the kitchen saw more hours of use with four people, but it sees more interesting use now.

My DD is almost 26, DH turned 30 this year. Both are very popular with their friends as they know how to cook. So even though I feel like we rushed through life, they did pick up some things.

Wow....what a sweet and loving note...from a son who "gets it"!!

Sounds like you did all the right things Trailrunner...and then some.

As to OP's question...I have had two "periods" of peaking...First when the family owned a gourmet business/catering company...we all cooked together - both professionally .. Catering for small groups or up to several hundred...or for our family meals...We were always "testing" new recipes, ideas, etc. In those days - the kitchen really hummed. Now that the children have their own families ...the kitchen is once again busy with multi-generations all cooking together for formal and informal meals...you would think we were still in the catering business!

I cooked a lot of new dishes when dh and I were together pre-kids. I kept it more simple when the babies were born out of exhaustion, lots of breastfeeding and making their baby food from scratch. They were born 17 months apart, so I was pregnant and nauseous a bit in that span too. I cooked a lot when they were little as I was a mostly SAHM with a nice kitchen (first house).
We moved into our current house with its small kitchen and I still cooked, but not as much for fun and we got busier with activities and playdates before I went back to work full time.
In the past couple of years, I still cooked but got take out more as I tried to adjust to working much more outside the home and trying to keep everything humming within the home.
During the reno, my cooking was waaaaay down as it was hard dealing with a pedestal sink and no dw for cleanup and I had to figure things for the slow cooker, tabletop convection oven or micro.

Post reno, even though I am cooking on a single portable induction burner (on sale near end of reno) as I wait for our stove to be allowed to get hooked up, I am cooking as much or more than ever. I love the new space and layout. I love having all food items in the kitchen rather than the extra fridge/freezer in the garage and most of my pantry in the basement. I can unload groceries in one general area and assembling ingredients to cook is easy. I have more room to spread out while cooking and to maneuver if others are nearby. It is also prettier with tall ceilings and more natural light, so I enjoy my time there aesthetically as well. We now have a kitchen table, so no longer have to eat in the living room or dining room. The table is a few feet from the sink and dw and not so far away. Serving is also easier because it is close. Dh can reach the silverware drawer from his seat at the table, for example. Moving the laundry room to the main level has enabled me to cook more because dh pitches in so much more with the laundry than before, freeing me up to cook more.

Dh decided to try eating vegan a few weeks ago, so I am challenged to come up with more home cooked meals that don't have dairy, mat or fish in them. I do cook with an occasional egg or chicken broth, but he does not know, wink, wink. He wants to get his cholesterol down, so has gone a little too drastic IMHO. I have been trying to get him to eat healthier for years, but this is too far. In any case, I cook even more than before from scratch because of the whole vegan thing. I am sure I will develop a groove and find it easier soon. We have one son who is a picky eater, so he often makes himself bagel bites or chicken tenders (not nuggets). I sure hope one day he broadens his repertoire. He likes to cook and esp bake with me, even if he doesn't eat what we make. Our younger ds started to cook with me last week and seems to like it too.

I cook most in the summer when they are all out of school. Or at least my dh adds a few meals in when I am at work and they are all home. I like it best when I make them breakfast and dinner and they all eat school lunches and I usually eat leftovers. On days when I am making and cleaning up after 3 meals for 4 people it feels like I never leave the kitchen. I get some help clearing the table, but dh's skin is allergic to cleaners/detergents, so he gets out of the real clean up. We have tried many products and even if he wears gloves, his face breaks out, so the real cleaning is up to me. When the boys get older, I will trust them to make things clean/safe, but for now clearing up is all they can help with.

When dh is retired and we are empty nesters, I can see making a lot of home cooked meals for 2. We won't have to worry about who likes what and will likely cook in large batches and defrost often. Keeping the house and kitchen clean and neat will be easier, so I will have more time and mental energy for cooking.

I guess, reading this over, that our kitchen gets a lot of use and the only time it didn't was when it was small/inconvenient and I first went back to work and during the reno. Not cooking much is the exception in our family. Even when I don't cook all aspects for the meal that day, I am embellishing leftovers or reheating something homemade that was frozen. We eat out less now than ever after a year of eating out more than ever. I suspect it will even out over time....

Trailrunner, the email from your DS had big tears rolling down my cheeks this a.m. Definitely frame it and hang it where you will read it every day. It's priceless!

Busiest time in my kitchen was when the older two were teens. We have 3 sons. The first 2 are 2 1/2 years apart, and the third is 8 years younger than the middle. Although the older two were active in high school sports which meant many meals were eaten on the run, we ate meals at home most nights. This was also most active because there were usually friends of the kids over that stayed for dinner. I worked part time from home editing most of these years. When the kids and their friends came home from school, I'd fix them something to eat to hold them over until dinner. For teens, this usually meant big deli-style sandwiches or something similar--I've always thought that was at least part of what made our home so popular with our kids' friends, lol! Dinners were homestyle, everyone sat at the table and shared their day. Those days were hectic, but fun--in some ways, I miss them!

Each stage of each child's life brings new joys and challenges. Although I loved them as babies and toddlers, I equally enjoyed the middle and teen years. Sharing in each of their new accomplishments is priceless! And being there for them when they go through sad times and challenges is equally rewarding and important. Don't mourn when your babies are no longer babies, but embrace their new capabilities and celebrate those with them!

I'd have to say that for sheer volume it was definitely when the kids were young. The teenage years was that "Wizard of Oz' crazy time when you had no idea who was coming a going and how many would be popping in. Also, meal times were oftentimes like army tactical maneuvers between activities and events. Dining out was a treat on not done often, so meals were home cooked. I loved the carpool and miss it. If you turn on their music and are very quiet you can learn so many things in a carpool with 7 teenagers. They forget you are there :)

Now DD1 has graduated college and moved out and DD2 is busy with college and work. I think now I have peaked with enjoying enjoying creating meals with lots of variety and layers of flavors. I've always been a foodie but I have the time to try new things. Homemade mazz, pesto, artisan breads, and yes...this weekend fresh pasta. Not having to rush makes cooking so much darn fun and nobody is scoffing it down in a hurry...around a table, with a fork, in the dining room.

Jessh trailrunner - you made my eyes leak. What a treasure your kids and that letter is.

What an interesting thread. I would just add a few things. Both my daughters are grown and have been out of the house for more than 10 years (they are 40 and 36). I some ways I think my cooking has evolved with the kitchens. I started out with a tiny apartment kitchen when DD1 was a baby-we used to have to heat the house with the oven when our landlord wouldn't pay the oil bills (I shudder to think of both doing that and that place). I really didn't know much about "cooking"-but I could bake anything. In those early years I just tried to keep up with 2 very picky eaters. Fats forward to this house, which we've been in for 31 years. We changed the kitchen a few times but the remodel of last year changed the layout so much more for the better that even when I'm tired and don't want to do much, I enjoy cooking in here. We are vegetarians and do almost everything from scratch.

An interesting aside is that both my daughters are wonderful cooks in very challenging kitchens of their own right now.

So a long winded way of saying that maybe volume is down now, but pleasure is WAy up.

What a great thread this has been . A lovely sharing of thoughts and feelings and it all started with the kitchen. So much of our lives seem to revolve around that space I think it was perfect to discuss family and food and our wishes and desires.

Thank you all for your kind words and allowing me to share G's thoughts and feelings. He is a great cook...and a great young man with a lot of potential. He is at this moment climbing San Jacinto peak outside of Palm Springs CA. He will spend the night up there at 10,000 + feet and come down tomorrow. A continuation of his effort to find himself . c

Trailrunner - Sounds like he is right where he needs to be. A great kid.

It is funny, but I started working with a new young couple today to look for a house. We sat down to discuss their wants and needs and got on the topic of the kitchen. The wife was trying to explain that if the kitchen is good, then that defines the entire house in her opinion. It was so funny, because I could not agree with her more.
If a kitchen is great, most buyers will try to make the rest of the house work for them. If it is too small or in need of a lot of work and they don't have the means to change it soon, then that becomes the overriding factor.
People do buy houses with poor to mediocre kitchens all the time, but if there is a good one, the other things matter so much less. With young couples around here, getting their first house usually takes up the entire budget, so little is left over for redoing a kitchen or anything else. Second timers often have enough to get the house and fix the kitchen right away. I find buyers much more willing to use an ugly or small bathroom because it is not as high on the priority list. Many houses have updated kitchens and older bathrooms because the kitchen got done first and probably blew the budget for doing anything else for a while, lol...

I have really enjoyed reading this thread. Mine are 6 and almost 5.
My kitchen is busiest now-I only expect it to get busier. Now that my oldest takes her lunch to school daily, there are lunch preps to be done-2 on Tues-Thurs as my youngest takes her lunch to preschool those days.
Only reason my kitchen isn't busier is we have a slab leak in the hot water line, so we only turn on the hot water 1-2x a day! I'm hoping once we get it fixed to be able to do more baking. I just cannot get myself to do it when the dishes are forced to pile up for marathon dish cleaning. Once I have free flowing hot water, I'll be making more after school snacks, breakfasts that aren't a box of cereal and dinners that aren't from Trader Joe's freezer section(well-and after I finish restaining the cabinets;-) )

My experience is similar to yours. My kids are all teenagers, one in college, two in HS. We hardly ever eat together, with sports teams, HS performances, clubs, DH and my worklife, it's crazy.

But we're doing the kitchen anyway.

When did we peak? Before kids, when we fell in love with cooking, and entertaining. I'm hoping to get back to it again...

Great Question, thank you.

Oh, Caroline, what a lovely note from your son! I hope that someday my boys who are still in the nest feel the same way.

As to the OP's question, I don't know what the future will hold, but I do know that I'm in the kitchen way more now than I ever have in the past. When we all switched to a gluten-free diet a few years ago because of DS1, I started baking absolutely everything. I had always enjoyed baking cookies, pies, etc, but now I bake bread & rolls, make my own puff pastry, wontons, and graham crackers. Pretty much everything is from scratch. I'm in the kitchen all the time. I imagine that it'll probably lessen when DS1 flies the coop.

Wow, wow, wow. That was the greatest note, C!!

I can't answer about after kids, since we still have 6 of our 8 at home (ages 7 to 19), plus one of the sons-in-law. It's BUSY in our kitchen now, and the busiest so far, I think.

The volume we go through is more than ever, and we cook more 'real' food than when the kids were little... Milling our own grains for bread and granola, weekly pizza feasts, and trying new veggies while trying to up the veggie balance in our diets. Although tonight I admit to baking a Costco lasagna, we rarely buy ready-made or pre-made anything, and no mixes. I want to know what we're eating and where it came from. I want it to be the richest in nutrition that it can be. That interest and conviction has grown with me over time, and it's become such a joy to explore since I have a great kitchen.

I love it when the kids have friends over and they all want to bake something.

Our kids are busy with sports, jobs, and church activities, too, and family dinners, usually a priority, were slipping by the wayside this fall. I could feel the difference in how we were as a family, and didn't like it. So we sat down and agreed to stricter dinner times on the evenings the kids had nighttime activities, so we weren't lazy about when dinner got done and eating in shifts. It doesn't always work, but it's better. There's nothing better than getting dinner in us, then sitting around and chatting and laughing about the day or whatever subjects... and staying connected.

I don't really look forward to cooking for only 2, and imagine and hope that there will be lots of grandchildren to come and fill the kitchen, share meals and goodies, and make great memories in "Grandma's kitchen." :-)

We sure miss the conversation at the table. I long for the days when DS1 and DIL were here and Momma...it was great having everyone and 3 generations. I know that there are those that say that having so many in a household is so hard...and there were days LOL...but it was noisy in a good way and fun to have us all chopping together and laughing...when I read the above posts...wow...I long for that again.

We will get a little replay at Thanksgiving. We have a house rented in Lexington VA for a week. We will have all the kids there and the new gbaby. It will be 3 generations again....different ones now...wish it were 4 ....

We are going to cook up a storm. DH is bringing his wok by special request and we have an organic turkey ordered. I can hardly wait. Lots of laughter and chopping and love to share. I am SO glad we had this thread and a perfect time of year for it with the holidays just around the corner. c

What a great thread! Trailrunner, I hope my kids can say the same of me when they're older ... what a tear jerker of an email!

With my 2 kids (2.5 years and almost 6 months) we are currently at our peak of kitchen use and I expect a steady climb over the next few years. I love to cook and bake ... well actually I love to feed people. Something I learned from my DM, and a great hobby since I have no time for a hobby. And my DH loves to eat so we're a good match ... he even eats my disasters without complaint! We also like to entertain though at the moment that is at an all time low since our kitchen has just been gutted. But even in our temporary kitchen my 2.5 year old DS loves to "help" in the kitchen and frequently asks me "what should we make?" or "should we make dough?". It's 3x the work with him in the midst, but also 3x the fun and I hope he learns something from it all. And DD often joins us in the baby carrier too!

The kitchen sure is the heart of our home. I can hardly wait until I can get into my new and improved kitchen in a few months! Our first major reno project, and the first time I've had the opportunity to choose anything in a kitchen. Little did I know how much choosing was involved ... it's all done now, and all I can do is wait for the finished product. I know it will only add to the joy I feel while putting things together to feed my family and whoever else!

Thank you very much, everyone, for weighing in.

This turned a little more maudlin than I expected. Trailrunner, you do sound very sad and that itself is sad; clearly you miss your mother. And in turn your kids enjoy a close connection with you: it's all good. San Jacinto's good. I agree with your son: you should sleep. He's fine; he will be fine. Though perhaps you don't want to know the temperature up on San Jacinto at the moment... (it's cold here!).

Not sure if this is really a trend I'm hearing, but perhaps it's general that when the number of kids is not huge, kitchen time is greatest when they're youngest, tapering when extracurricular schedules mess up the dinner one. With more kids it could be that the coming/going is constant and there is less playing to any one kid so kitchen use stays heavy and is perhaps at its peak in the older years.

Ok, so perhaps we delayed too long: I guess I knew that already though. dh and I aren't the most cooperative of partners.

I made my island a piano shape; now I'm wishing it were heart-shaped. OK, not really. But it is, to paraphrase TR's dh I believe, only sort of 'all about the food'.

aliris--

I am the exception to your survey. My kids are grade-school into teen years. I am cooking earlier for dinners but definitely still cooking. I bought a slow-cooker and needed room to store it. I've gotten by with mixer attachments all these years, but am thinking of a food processor; now I have room to put it away.

Two of my kids are baking and cooking more. And in our area, the sports teams have "team dinners" several times a season. Hosting 18 high school boys for dinner is pretty high use of a kitchen.

Oh man.....you had to bring on the tears huh????? What a great thread! Trailrunner...there is nothing more fulfilling to me than when we rent a vacation house somewhere and the WHOLE family stays with us. People think I'm weird because we plan the whole vacation around cooking together in that house for a whole week. It totally warms my heart and soul!

I didn't even learn to really cook until my youngest went away to college and I needed something to fill the empty feeling and turned to food....well really it was the cooking that filled the void. My house has not been the same since.

We planned this kitchen remodel due to my learning to cook and bringing everyone into my kitchen while we all share a part of it.

So here's to hoping for a kitchen filled with multiple generations sharing love in the kitchen

Sure didn't want this to sound maudlin !! Sorry if that was what came across. I got the feeling that it simply touched a chord in others . I have my " moments" like many do. Judging from the emails that I get from other forum members there are a lot of folks out there that hesitate to express their feelings about some things and when I do it , it opens a door they are glad has been opened. Gives them permission, if you will, to feel these things and express them in their own lives.

Any way ...DS2 just called and the hike to the 10,000 ft peak of San Jacinto went very very well. He set up camp and watched the moon and thought about a lot of things that needed thinking about. He says he believes he has the intro and 1st chapter of a book in his head and heart. We are so pleased as we have encouraged him to write .

I have so enjoyed everyone's expressions of how cooking and the kitchen and family have evolved in their lives . It sure does keep changing. I miss the kids and my parents...but I am really looking forward to having a holiday like boylanite2 describes. we have done it before and it is a lot of fun.

I hope others will continue to chime in. Aliris my sincere apology if I overstepped in any way...I really didn't mean to. c

In some ways we "peaked" when our kids were in middle-to-high school and our parents were just turning over the custody of family parties and such to us. But in some other ways, we're still peaking.

DH and I became empty nesters 12 years ago. About the same time, our parents died, leaving my generation to be the only hosts for extended family events. We have a big garden with food to preserve and we like doing formal dinner parties. We have also made connections between kitchen and deck so we can eat outdoors in summers and grill outdoors all year. The kitchen is almost always ready for everything, from baking to food storage to full meals. DH has begun to invite more of his new sportsmen friends to dinner now, so we entertain more than ever and if he becomes an officer in another club, we'll have even more such events. Because we're going deaf, we are happier eating at home than in the noise of a restaurant, so we often turn a restaurant invite into a "hey, just come to our place" invitation and I think our age-mates appreciate this for the same reason. It's civilized conversing and eating.

I very much agree with Leela4 that the pleasure of having a kitchen when I need it is really a good thing--even in retirement--although I am fully aware that the recent expansion of the kitchen was perhaps overkill for our house and life. What I especially like is being in the same room with DH and still being able to think and cook. He and I are in there a lot together. We have space for ongoing food prep as well as special projects happening side-by-side. Mounds of newspapers and mail and auto repair manuals and green tomatoes and such can't keep us from our appointed tasks in there and the room is so pleasant aesthetically that I don't shirk the work.

We cook from scratch most of the time and I continue to learn new recipes. So does DH, but more modestly on the recipe thing.

As much as I cherish the past... and God knows I do, I am a perpetual optimist and always feel the best is yet to come. There are some memories that I recall thinking at the moment they happened, that I had to freeze frame it in my brain. One, when my oldest was about 4 years old and we were cuddling while watching Nick Jr. I sniffed in the back of his neck and tears flowed as I knew I had to lock in that moment. I did ... and now I can reach out and touch it. (he's 27) Bout my kitchen use, it's evolved as my life has. I'm much more confident, creative, and less stressed. I think my style of cooking reflects that. Having the kitchen of my dreams helps too... such an ease to work in. Cooking for my family and friends is a total joy. They get so excited about coming over for some "all home made" cooking. Life is a blessing... and showing love to those special people is my/our way of showing that.

My kitchen has always been a busy place, though squished into about 5 square feet--but we remodeled just last year and now it's busier than ever. And happier, too, because it's bigger and has space for all of us to pile in. :-) I'd say we're probably peaking just about now, and this will continue till my oldest leaves home for college. My kids are 13 and almost 16, and they now love to cook, and they like to bring their friends over--and then sometimes they like to cook and bake, too. We never really know how many people will be coming for dinner or weekend lunches. Yesterday we had guests for both lunch and dinner. The grandparents are at the point where they're ready to stop doing the big holiday meals, and since I love to cook and now have a big kitchen, I have happily taken over that task. I enjoy cooking now more than I did when the kids were young, because they've grown into adventurous eaters who will try anything I make, and I don't have to make something separate "that the kids will eat".

It really does seem that each phase of our lives is 'the best one yet'. I have enjoyed my babies, my toddlers, and my adolescents (OK, honestly, I'm glad they've passed that stage). But I'm really, really enjoying my teenagers, and all of their friends, too. I look forward to them going to college, because I LOVED going to college and I want them to have that wonderful experience as well. I can't wait for them to bring home their friends during breaks, and look forward to young adults around my table, complaining about their finals and discussing their professors and classes. And eventually, I look forward to having spouses and grandchildren filling our home with laughter and the sound of family having a good time.

Life is good, and it's only getting better.

This is a great thread! Thank you, Aliris19 for starting it.

Cj

Wonderful discussion, sweet tears and warm smiles and all.

Our kitchens have ebbed and flowed over the years. DH is in the food industry with long summers working three months straight. No exaggeration--no more than two days off this past summer. Long, late hours year round for him made it nearly impossible to have family dinners during the week. Kids just can't wait till 8:30 or 9pm to eat! I cooked basic, nutritional meals during those days, fancy dishes only when entertaining.

Kitchen life slowed way down when our two boys went off to college. Then DH began to discover his inner chef and his cooking has taken off like a rocket. He not only cooks for us but also makes several entrees each week to take to our son and DIL, neither of whom like or have much time to cook with new careers and a toddler. They love the great food and DH loves process and the appreciation.

We bought a mountain house in 2002 and are now remodeling for eventual retirement, still some years away. DH is always inviting friends over and with our increased space already has a long list of weekend guests in mind. We justified, first, buying the house, and then the remodeling, by thinking of all the great memories we'll make with our kids and grandkids. Among my sisters' and my families we have 7 littles under age 6, all growing up together. When we meet around the table we have close to 30 souls.

So, in planning the new kitchen I've gathered a wonderful collection of cooking appliances set in beautiful, durable new cabinets. He's off and planning Thanksgiving Day and the rest of the weekend. For Christmas we'll be here a week, so more fun planning, anticipating, preparing, eating, and recovering!

I should mention that DH first learned to cook in the National Guard. I joke that he can only cook for 600.

Recently, I discovered through Ancestry.com that DH descends from an Innkeeper in a tiny town in Cornwall, listed in 1841 and 1851 censuses. He denies it, but I see some hospitality genes increasing their influence recently. The bonus is that the Inn not only still exists as an 8-bedroom house, but it's for sale! He won't buy it for me, though. Imagine that. ;-)

Long way around to say that for us the peak is still somewhere in the future, after that brief empty nest dip.

trail, your first post brought goose bumps. Then reading about your upcoming Thanksgiving I got tears! Have a wonderful Thanksgiving. Your children were blessed to have a SAHM!

Trail - no way-no how did you let any hair overstep. Not that I'd even know what 'overstepping' means in this context anyway, but probably I'd know it if I saw it and I don't: what's to apologize for!? (you've made dozens of people's days with the generous peep of your son's stellar letter).

I'm glad San Jacinto was fun - I love that place! I had a small kid tear her jeans sliding down ice/snow and had to duct-tape it for the trip back down. I love that memory. She may not (pretty bad ice burn).

I guess I should have realized how integral this kind of question would be to past memories and the emotions of them; I hadn't quite realized it though. I appreciate all the sharings. And it's my turn to apologize if the memories are bittersweet.

Trailrunner: now I'm really going to step over a line. I think you should open a restaurant! Small, to your taste and schedule. You could call it Grandma's Kitchen. And just serve blue margarita's? Just a thought.... Be sure to put lots of bike racks out front though.

p.s. I used to run a coop too and I *really* miss it. Really, really, really.

This thread is so special that I almost feel like an intruder posting since I''m a newbie to GW. I found GW in August when I was driven to the internet researching for our upcoming kitchen reno, signed up in September, and am soooo grateful for all your wisdom. I am so under equipped to handle a reno.

Like many of you, our kitchen activity simply changed with ages and family commitments. I thought it was at a peak when the boys were babies. No wait..toddlers. No, ....teens for sure with sports/school activities. Nope,...surely when they became young adults and began power lifting (DS1) and olympic lifting (DS2). That's when our food bills (and kitchen time) went sky high along with their increased nutritional needs. Dr. John Berardi's Gourmet Nutrition cookbook was incorporated into my shopping & cooking routines. DH and I joked that it was like having a baby in the house again with DS1 eating every 3 hrs--except now it was full course meals with power snacks in between. Now that DS1 (age 28) is on his own and DS2 (age 24) at home finishing his Masters, I find my cooking still ebbs & flows. My dear friend says I do ''marathon'' cooking (and freezing) when DS1 comes home for a visit in order to send food back with him. He can't afford to nutritionally ''feed the beast''--still strength and power lifting. Sometimes children's life's lessons are hard on a mother's heart. He is most appreciative and has often joined in the marathon cooking with me.

For you young ones out there, don't wait till your kids are grown to make the kitchen functionally sound! It will make serving your family so much easier and even more delightful.

Dianalo--If your DH likes avocados, he might try adding them to his daily intake. They have helped me (and my sis too) lower the bad cholesterol and raise the good. I like them best with a tiny bit of kosher salt and a few drops of lime juice. Google avocados and cholesterol for good info.

Oh Trailrunner you are most blessed! (Prov. 31:28 ''Her children arise up and call her blessed'') What a joy to have a grown child verbalize such touching gratitude and appreciation for your life investment! Thank you for sharing that! It is an encouragement to each mother regardless of her children's ages. On another note, I understand the void that remains after the passing of a loved one. Both my parents are gone now. Life changes but God is still good and memories are sweet! You are so right about giving others opportunity to express those feelings. You have a wonderful way with words. You should write a book.

I enjoyed this sharing, and didn't find any of this at ALL maudlin. If the past hadn't been such a blessing, we wouldn't be sad about it being behind us. But that's not the same as maudlin, because it's a 'thankful for the great times' moment, is all, appreciating that years go by quickly, taking precious moments with them, and doesn't mean we aren't enjoying today.

Welcome, Tea4all. Love that you referenced that particular Scripture verse... It fits perfectly! I have a 13 year old whose growth and distance running workouts are outdoing his caloric intake, plus other athletes in the house, so I will have to check out that book!

sweet holly, thank you.

aliris...you are very kind. I wouldn't know how to make a restaurant a success with my talents...such as they are. After working in my son's restaurant for 5 years I have to tell you ...I am way too lazy to work that hard :)

I had no idea you are so familiar with the San Jacinto area. He just loves CA and says he will never live anywhere else again. He spent 6 days in early Sept up in Sequoia Natl park. He was in the wilderness for the whole time. Even set up the tent inside a hollowed out dead Sequoia !! There was plenty of room. He swam in the lakes up there and had a wonderful time. If he can keep things on an even keel I think he has the makings of a naturalist...his degree is in microbiology, so he has plenty of background. We'll see.

Tea4all...I too am so glad you have joined the fun here on Kitchens. There are SO many special folks here. We have a bond that starts with the kitchen and then moves on to some great friendships. A number of us have gotten together over the years in real life too. It is a special place.

I am glad you like my ramblings . A book is most likely not in the picture...it would have to be a set of paragraphs...vignettes of my life...who knows...maybe someday.

The mentioning of a coops and Aliris saying how much she misses it reminded me of my kids and how they were when we had the coop. It met in my garage. I did it for 8 years. We had a small truck that came out of Atlanta. Later they sold out and it came from Gainesville FL. We had an 18 wheeler that was refrigerated and they backed up in the driveway. Designated folks met the truck and unloaded. We had a fridge in the garage. All through the day folks came and subdivided the food according to the paper order forms that were turned in. This was the early 80's-mid 80's.

My kids loved it when they got home from school and saw all the "goodies". Also playing with the kids of the families that belonged to the coop. At one point we had probably 75 or so families.

We got peanut butter in 30 # buckets...had to be stirred ! Whew...we also got cashews in huge 30# sealed cans. Honey in 60# cans. All out flour came in 25 and 50 # bags. We got raisins and dates in 35 # boxes. Cheese all came in large blocks. Either 5# for some or the 30# wheels. We had special cheese knives with 2 handles to cut the cheese. I have an order sheet from that time period with the prices...sure wish we could get the almonds for that now LOL.

Anyway my kids hated unsalted peanut butter and carob !! They would beg for " real" food LOL. Depending on what I made them they would swap lunches at school, I didn't know this at the time , with kids that didn't want "store bought" food and my kids thought it was an illegal treat to have store bought. They still laugh about the peanut butter and carob. Fortunately that was the only 2 things they disliked. We were lucky. No picky eaters at our house.

Nice memories indeed. And more to be made....what a sweet thing to be able to open this thread time after time and still have such nice surprises...words as well as a new friend. c