Paint your walls first ,you might find that you can live with your countertops once you paint ,I agree you need to go lighter on the walls everything is very dark ,I wouldn't do a backsplash until you paint the cabinets it's kinda a big commitment if you are going to paint the cabinets later anyway,just get a nice light color...BM linen is very pretty ,also paint your ceilings, doors,and trim white too it will give much need light too...try BM decorators white for those.

I would put a nice backsplash, maybe mosaic glass tiles similar to the ones on the photo. They would go well with white cabinets as well... The countertops are not a big issue, once you put lighter tiles and paint the kitchen in a lighter beige or white color it will appear lighter and brighter.

I would paint walls and ceiling a soft white it warm gray.
Sw shoji white or Ben Moore revere pewter.
A solid white 3x6 tile on the backsplash for sure
Put some brushed chrome cup pulls on the drawers and simple round knobs on the doors. That keeps in line with your farm house.