Bobbi, yes, yes and YES!!! I was never good enough either, because I was a girl - like I had any say in it, but it was still my fault. Her main problem was she didn't have the means to climb the social ladder which made her very bitter. She really wasted her life being jealous of everybody and being miserable over everything she DIDN'T have.

roo, you're preaching to the choir! They were definitely cut from the same cloth. Bitter, jealous and self-induced misery. She hated her MIL, of course, because they were too much alike but she never saw it. Mine loves to start trouble in the family, too, she pits me against my brothers and vice-versa so now we have nothing to do with one another. One big miserable dysfunctional family!

Go to bed, or tomorrow you will have another birthday!

feeny, hopefully you will have built up enough resistance that you won't have a son-induced relapse! Drink lots of juice and water, don't let the germs settle.

mp - one thing with having an anal mother really taught me my priorities in life. No way was I ever going to be like her, I was going to enjoy my life. I'm fussy in the house but if a bit of dust backs up, so what, it won't be any worse tomorrow. I am a bit anal about cupboards and drawers, they all have to be organised and neat too, even if it means leaving other things a day or two, although I have things organised so everything goes away easily and there is no excuse for messiness. Unfortunately, I have picked up a few of my mother's traits, I am anal in the kitchen - no one can wash up but me, can't help myself there, probably because MIL was the filthiest person I have ever met, she was hopeless at everything and had no idea of basic hygiene so I couldn't stand her touching anything. If she took over the washing up at any time, generally more things got broken than cleaned. .

Mine never had anything to do with her MIL - FIL was a total nut case and killed off both his wives. Wonder who can write the longest book!!!! Hahahaha.

Hi ladies. Bobbi and Roo whilst I am ticking the like box on your grumbles about in laws it's not because I'm enjoying your misery just commiserating. I don't speak to my husband's in laws (my parents- I like to distance myself). I'll just say that some people should never drink.

Well, my mom IS anal and a fantastic housecleaner! And that's where my downfall came from in that dept. I think. I didn't even know how to use a washing machine until I was 18 years old. She did all the cleaning when I was growing up. Don't get me wrong...I did other household chores, but not so much in the cleaning up the house dept.
Roo....I don't like J cleaning up the kitchen either....I'd rather do it myself for sure. He has actually put things into the utensil drawer from the dishwasher that didn't get totally clean! I cannot take that! yucky.

I really don't even like for him to cook either....I know I sound horrible, but it's true.
I worked in restaurants too many years in my life not to know about cleanliness in a kitchen and cleaning up during and after cooking.
And as far as mothers go....well believe me, I have a very critical one as well. It's amazing that I have the self esteem that I do...lol! Thank God for all of my friend's families and teachers and coaches and grandparents while growing up. I dread to think what may have happened to me if not for them. Mom still hasn't mellowed as much as I thought she would by now...but I also don't hold a grudge. She was a "child bride" and my parents were basically children when they had me. 18 and 19 years old is pretty dang young. They only knew what their parents had taught them. :) But I refused to be the same sort of parent that they were. And I also waited to have my girl until I was 27....big difference. I had been out and about and done quite a lot on my own by that time!

Ok after this morning I have decided that houzz needs to have a "houzz-swapping" feature! I am not understanding why so many people are buying homes that they just don't like. Kitchens are generally expensive to gut and start over....so wouldn't it make sense that if you like traditional decor, that you would search for a home that has the basics for a traditional style, or that can easily be turned into something traditional. If you like modern or contemporary, look for a house that can easily be changed into that look? Unless you are just flipping a house or inherit it, but I am getting the impression that many are not taking into account how much money it actually takes to change the look dramatically if you don't like it. I, of all people, understand a budget, but I also know what I can do myself and how much it costs to hire someone etc. Do you think people (especially young first-time homebuyers) should all take a course or research more when buying a first home?

Sorry guys....don't know where all this is coming from. I'm just on a roll for some reason. But I do think about these things sometimes.

trying to lighten up a bit! haha! (but I'm not sure that I did it right AGAIN)
if you don't see a video, then I'll repost! Good lord I'm an idiot sometimes!

on second thought, it's not the cheeriest...but I DO so love this song! :) enjoy!

feeny, i know exactly what you are saying too. historical homes are usually so gorgeous! They are a piece of art to preserve. The architectural details are stunning. You will pay a pretty penny to get that kind of craftsmanship done now. J and I were watching something...oh yea...now this is extreme, but it's truly amazing....christmas eve I think, the vatican or wherever the pope was doing the service?? I was just in awe of all the art and detail of the structure and decoration of the building. And the tools they worked with in comparison to what we have now! Blows my mind!

MP, This is one of my favorites. Stevie is such a song writer, sometimes a little vague, but this one is so clear in message. Fleetwood Mac is reuniting, but only for two songs on a disc, which ticks them all off. They don't understand why no one wants a whole album anymore.

Well, girls, I have to say that I have no trouble with anyone BECAUSE, I was the only child of only children! No siblings, no cousins. Thank God for CP and DD.

Now his family, however, had some of everything mentioned above. I'll tell you jealousy and booze kills a family. Two things which cannot ever be ironed out.

I have 20 cousins and one brother, that I just disavowed. That whole 'honor thy mother' commandment is weighing heavy on me, too. My in-laws however, are a fabulous bunch. Amazing, huh? Hubby is one of 9 kids and all but one are married and all but 2 have kids. And I like them all! Even his mother is like the sweetest, kindest person you ever want to meet.

You got that right judyg! Booze and jealousy for sure....very sad indeed.
Well I have 2 sisters. I'm the eldest. We lost one sis about 3 years ago. Car wreck. There once were 4 but now the 3. Aimee, the sis we lost was my babydoll. The other 2 sisters and I never really got along. One is way too uptight, selfish (AND CRAZY) and the other is just crazy. Aimee and I were more alike....we were both kind of the "first-born". My parents were crazy...lol...there were 2 sets of girls. Me and the uptight/crazy one and then 15 years later my mom had 2 more nutjobs! Both sets of girls about a year and a half apart in age. Since I was 15 when Aimee was born, she was like my baby. Gosh, I loved that girl/woman...miss her a lot! I just kind of tolerate/avoid the other 2 now. They kind of infuriated me for the last time during the funeral arrangements. Of course both of my parents were devastated by the loss, ( and no jealousy whatsoever, just fact, she was both their favorite child). They all kind of bailed on me and did not help me with my parents at all during this greiving period. Plus they totally ignored my father, which pissed me off to no end. Just because my parents are not together anymore, does not mean that he wasn't just as needy emotionally. But all they did was ask him for money for a plane ticket for another memorial service in montana that would be held later. My dad is a real pushover, if you need money for something. But these are 2 grown women I am speaking of......if they wanted to go to another service for my sister, I think they could have paid for their own plane tickets. Sore spot for me. I ended up having to deal with a lot of the arrangements because my parents were basketcases at the time. And check on my father etc. They just acted like he didn't exist...until they wanted money.

Funny, I was just talking with my son this morning how people.. especially young people... have this idea of what a house is 'supposed' to be. They all want stainless steel appliances because that's what everyone is 'supposed' to have. They all want granite countertops because that's what you're 'supposed' to have. And the list goes on. And they all want it exactly like that when they move in. It used to be, you found a house you could afford in a nice neighborhood and slowly made it into your home. And by 'nice', I don't mean the most expensive neighborhood, but one with low crime, nice people and good schools where the teachers don't have to spend all day just trying to contain chaos.

Good afternoon. For those of you who struggle in relationships with family members who have clutter and CHAOS (Can't Have Anyone Over Syndrome), I recommend a look at the FlyLady.net site. It certainly has been helpful for me.

eztia, just bookmarked the page to go through later on. You are just a plethora of wellness info. Thanks! :)

Ladies I was just wondering, how long has Houzz been around? I only discovered it this summer, to my near endless joy. I had been looking for a great home decor type site and there it was but I wondered why I hadn't come across it sooner. Anybody know?

Sorry to have abruptly changed the subject. I too am an only child which is why I'd never have just one. I hated being the centre of my smothers universe.

lisa, I heard about it on The Today Show the first of last year and it gave the history of houzz and how it came about and what year, but I didn't retain the info. I'll do a little digging and see what I can find.

February, 2009.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Houzz

Really Creeser 2009? Where have I been? Well yes really I went to the link you gave me. I can't believe I haven't come across it before. Oh well I'm here now.

lisa, same here. As much as I googled trying to find ideas over the last few years and never found houzz until I saw it mentioned on tv. And now we're houzz addicts. *L*

i only found this site a few months ago.....don't know how i ever missed it. and not sure if i googled something and it came up with the pic....or what. but a great site for ideas and inspiration for sure!

I'm always pleased with myself when I see something on Houzz that I have! Makes me feel like I'm with it!

well, i don't have too much in my own home that's on houzz.....lol...I WISH! :)
But I am flattered when someone saves one of my ideas/pics/art to their ideabook. Never expected that for sure. Just was making an album for myself basically.

To be fair though I've only come across a couple of little things; a tray, a light shade, minor items. I was inspired to finally get on with making a pelmet for the living room curtains (husband did all the work). I only wanted to add a couple of curtain hooks and suddenly there was a project - oh yes we got finished about two days before Christmas ( we had been ill)! Last year we made the curtains again about 2-3 days before Christmas! I don't know what's wrong with us, you have a whole year and then Christmas week!

I discovered Houzz in the spring of 2011 when a friend who was renovating her kitchen sent me a link. Sadly, it was two years too late for helping with our own kitchen renovation. It would have saved me a lot of time hunting down inspiration photos, but there aren't actually that many things I would have done differently had I found it earlier. So that's a relief.

same here feeny...too late for me too, but i don't mind what we've done either...it was probably a blessing in my case. i have very expensive taste to begin with and no money to back me up! I may have proscrastinated on some projects or purchases had I seen houzz first. i was meant to find it when i did i imagine!

I wish we could sign up for "OLLD", and not have to remember to check new discussions every day, but have notices come directly to e-mail! I'm grateful we're only having rain, on the New Jersey coast; my friends in north Jersey already had several inches of snow! Nothing like listening to other people talk about their families, to be happy that mine was pretty easy going & kept in touch!

ok my olldies....i am almost free to go home! YAHOO!
Love to you all! Have a great sunday, for most (hopefully if some of you are snowed in, you're warm and cozy)...and happy monday to Roo!
Think it's going to be cool here, but no snow, unless I drive to it! ????????? hhmmmmmm
Football tomorrow for me as well, except my guys are pretty much out of the race. :(
Soooo maybe me and the crazy guy can take a little drive toward the blueridge parkway.

xo

mp

MP, hubby and I were just talking of driving up to Maggie Valley to see some snow! If we have to have this bitterly cold gale blowing, we need snow with it!
Have a lovely weekend girlfriend!

@creeser. Thank you for the compliment. FlyLady is a free site. If you sign up for FlyLady, get the daily digest - all the e-mails at once - instead of 12 or 15 spread across the day. I think it is much easier to follow her plan that way.

Hi all, I am going to start a thread for tomorrow, Sunday, December 30, 2012 now, even though it is still 6 p.m. where I live.

Congratulations to all of you who have babies coming!

Thanks to the encouragement of olldroo, and the validation of my thoughts by olldj22 and olldbobbi, I worked off and on for a whole day to get my research and my thoughts about creating environments for infants and young children into a readable format.

See tomorrow's post. :)

Just a quickie cause I'm supposed to feed hubby every once in a while.

Re the iPad, yes it works just fine. But it's like getting the first dent on a brand new car. Plus it's been such a few months of stuff going wrong that this was sort of the icing on the cake. I've rarely in my life broken anything - Mom made me too aware of costs of things and respect.

Astraea, I'll post on the 30th thread for you.

Slow start this morning, had to go shopping for a bit of food to keep me going.

Thought some of you might find this website interesting, narcissistic mother syndrome has actually been identified as a disease -

http://daughtersofnarcissisticmothers.com/

mp, just read your post. I cannot tell you how your words touched me. We spent this morning at a wonderful, beautiful funeral for a man who was in my husband's coffee group. The priest gave the simplest eulogy which hit home, I am sure, with everyone in the church. Bottom line is it is all about love. If you have that true, deep connection with someone, like you had with Aimee, nothing, not even death, will break it.

Love is not given freely, but when you give it, it is for always. God bless.

astraea, bad weather on Cape Cod. You are to blame :>).. Are you having snow?

mm, bobbi and I were talked into buying Fabuloso cleaning product. I like it a lot.

greengirl, "let him eat cake".

There is houzz and there is OLLD houzz.

I have said before on ideasbooks that I was sent Houzz as a joke by BH's sister when we first started talking renovations last year. I had never thought of such a thing on the net, but I'm not one to do much searching anyway. At first I thought "yeah right" but then I started looking into the photos for ideas I could take, colour schemes and room layouts. Probably was a bit easier for me not being able to buy the products shown, I had to search out equivalents here anyway and could then keep things in my price range.

Where has everyone gone??? Eztia said she was starting 12/30 but I can't find it.

Gotta go to bed. Catch up tomorrow ............... I hope.

Gee am I screwed up! I read the comment about starting a discussion for Sunday, 12/30 .. and knew today was Sunday .. but somehow thought it was the 31st already! I think I'll be glad when the holidays are all over!!

Judy - my area on the Jersey shore only had rain yesterday, although friends in north Jersey had snow the whole time. It's a beautiful sunny day today (Sunday), but very cold! Even the wet doormat outside froze & is "crunchy" today!

Sun just popped out here. We only got 2-3" of snow, but it is the cold, crunchy type. Just beautiful. I'll take a few pictures and then I want it gone. :>)

Send your snow here! It's cold enough to snow this morning, below 30 degrees, but no rain in sight. Dang!

Astraea I have so totally lost the plot. For some weird reason I know the date but have no idea of the day. It has been Sunday every day since Christmas but now Sunday has gone, everything has.

Did 12/30 get started? Can't find it.

Funny you lot talking 30 deg and freezing when we are boiling in our 30 deg.

Oh well, if no one is playing I think I will go sew curtains. Made inroads yesterday but the bobbin ran out and I've done something so the machine isn't sewing properly. New machine, still on my Ls, have to find my patience again.

It took me a while to find it, because it said 12-30-12, not just 12/30 .. or something like that!

I guess we should start adding "F" and "C" to the temperature, so we're all on the same page! It's very cold here now. When I go out to fill the bird feeders or put food out for the clitters, I have to replace the water, because it's frozen!

My Mom loved to sew; she made all the short curtains for my other house. I kept them after I moved, but the windows here are longer .. I guess it's sentimentality!

Thanks astraea, I played around a bit but obviously not enough. Not worried about the temps, I pretty much know you are F, Canada and us are C, and if I'm not sure of the conversion I just ask Google.

I don't really "love" to sew, I do it purely for financial reasons plus I know I get things as I want them. The first time I curtained my loungeroom, a local store was offerring free making so decided to take them up on it. I had 8 drops of fabric, so when they arrrived and were hung 6 of the drops had huge flaws in the fabric, in some places there were actual holes!!! Back they went, and on return we had it down to 3 drops with flaws. Off they went again and the third attempt still had one flaw, but by this they claimed they had run out of fabric. Anyway after a good search around - it was a large department store with shops in many locations around Oz - they finally found enough to finish the curtains off, like 3 months later!!! It was more hassle than sitting doing them myself.

Sometimes with free making they only do a rod pocket curtain and a couple of times I have had that done and then just had to stitch the tape on myself and fit. That saved a lot of work but no one seems to make these offers anymore.

Will go over to the 30th and see what they are all up to.