What a great lesson to learn at your age,

My dear mother and I kept her "stuff" to a minimum, periodically going through drawers, closets, the garage to purge. She had what she wanted and needed, but when she passed it was still a lot of work to deal with it all. To this day I thank her for caring enough to keep it under control. Thanks, MOM!

So true. Most of it is just memories.

This is a great lesson to learn. Stuff really is just stuff.

Socks, what you said is one of the things that helps me when I declutter. I don't want to keep things that aren't meaningful to me- it would just be a burden to those left behind. I'm not all that old and don't plan on passing away any time soon, but after seeing my grandparents' house cleaned out (which contained some really crazy items, such as scads of 40 year old home-canned foods), it is a horrible burden. If the owner doesn't care enough to sort the meaningful from the non-meaningful, none of it has meaning. It becomes a clean-out rather than a sort-through, and a terrible burden on those left behind.

Stuff is just stuff. I used to hold onto a lot more things. Then a major negative life event happened. I realized you could work all your life for something and lose it in a short time through no fault of your own. I still kept a few sentimental things, but slowly started getting rid of them. I think it was at that point I realized I was moving on and letting go. I value old photographs and family history, but other than that and the lviing family I have, there isn't much that couldn't be replaced. I have things around my house I like. One of these days after the kids are grown I could probably donate or garage sale it and never look back.

That was a great lesson. I never quite got over the realization that all my worldly possessions would no longer fit in my car on moving day.

That being said, it is easy to take up the space you have. My first house was 840 square ft , no basement, no garage. That kept me pretty honest. Having had much more space for the last 12 years has allowed for more accumulation. It sure seems to take constant culling.

I've cleaned out two homes - my mother's and my in-law's. Both of them kept way too much meaningless stuff that just ended up in the dumpster due to sheer volume. My mother-in-law bought endless plastic storage tubs and spent most of her last 10 yrs sorting, labeling, and storing mostly useless things that should have been in the trash years ago. She kept everything - spools of thread with just small pieces of thread on then, 20 year old birthday wrapping paper, her grade school notebooks that had faded and become unreadable (she died at 92), washed out instant coffee jars. All of it was carefully sorted into hundreds of plastic tubs with hand-written labels. After spending nearly 6 wks sorting through it and just tossing about 90% of it in getting her house ready to sell after she died, I swore no one will ever have to sort through my stuff like that. That experience gave me the resolve to pitch, donate, or give away anything that I don't need or cherish. Now, when I begin to get lazy about my quest to pare down, I just watch a couple of episodes of "Hoarders" and I get right back with the program!

Hoarding is a complex psychological issue. Often, with elderly folks, they are trying to preserve a piece of the past, are lonely, and wish they had someone who was interested enough in them to pass along a verbal legacy. It is usually kinder to allow them to keep their stuff, as it means more to them than the physical aspects, then dispense with it later. I know a man who really wanted to record his life story for his family. He wrote a family history, then celebrated his 100th birthday. Then a month later, he suddenly passed on, very peacefully. HIs job was done. Those who are not family members enjoyed reading his book more than his actual descendants.

No matter how much we "pare down," there is still going to be "stuff" to dispense with. These often become treasures for others. That is what much of EBay is all about.

Gardenspice wrote: "It sure seems to take constant culling."

It does! I realized something recently that was an awakening. There are many forces actively at work that bring things into my home.

There is only one force that takes things out--and it's not necessarily always active.

Stuff comes in because of these forces:

-birthdays, Christmas

-hobbies, projects

-fashions change; job changes; my size changes; I need clothes so I buy them

-things get worn and need to be replaced

-needs develop, and I get the tool/gadget/equipment that will meet that need (example: our buildling's gas dryers were out of commission for a year, so I bought a stand to hang clothes to air-dry; ditto, we bought two electric hot plates since cooking gas was out that long as well)

The only force that moves things out is me. And I'm not always an active force. I may have stopped making homemade ice pops, but I have to make an effort to go into the cabinet and find the box w/ the molds and get rid of them.
That's a negative force. Whereas if I decide to start making macarons, there's a positive energy that will send me out to buy macaron sheets.

It requires "Constant vigilance!" as Mad-Eye Moody would say.

That realization helped me to not feel as bad about ending up with more stuff. And it helped me to be more motivated and diligent about being the person to send this stuff out.

fortyseven_gw, you bring up a point that I need to step back and remember sometimes... The people who wrote the books on Death and Dying and Grief and Grieving also wrote a book about life lessons (as well as a few others). One of the points they hit on in that is that some people find joy in traveling through life more lightly when it comes to material objects, but some people find great joy in things, and neither is right or wrong if not done in an unhealthy way. Just because I find things to be burdensome, and feel freer as I have less--- that is not what makes everybody happy.

talley-sue, as I'm usually posting here-- good points. I'd add that other people in the household are a force that moves things in too. I adore DH, but he does seem to like to shop at times, but not so much discard :(. He just started a new job a few weeks back and came home proclaiming that he needed to go shopping for a few new dressier shirts. Later that day I headed to his side of the closet and dug out no less than 20 very nice, still-very-much-in-style dress shirts that he did not realize he had. I think he was embarrassed that he thought he had nothing, when in reality he had way more than he needs. This is one of the problems I've had with having too much stuff- we never seem to know what we have when it's all crammed in rather than stored loosely in a way where we can see it.

My resolutions for 2015 is to cull out "stuff" and spend less money (the two are tied together). Granted my "stuff" is organized but just TMS.

Arebella mentioned My mother-in-law bought endless plastic storage tubs and spent most of
her last 10 yrs sorting, labeling, and storing mostly useless things
that should have been in the trash years ago. That's me! In an effort to organize I have become a storage bin/tub hoarder, I have lots of them that I haven't utilized. This is just the bintry...I mean the pantry.

Mustangs--I have a big container downstairs that only holds empty organizing containers. And as we're emptying out our "away" bin (at the storage facility), I've emptied the big plastic drawers I used to use for the kids' toys. DH wanted to donate them--I told him not to. At least, not yet.

I need to set some sort of time limit, etc., for that stuff. Use it, or move it out.

For a few years now I have been scanning papers photos and kids art work to keep digitally. Only special things, or things for taxes, will I keep the hard copy of.
Though I love to organize, I no longer want to keep stuff just because________________.

I'm not a hoarder, but I do have accumulations of stuff that I keep because I feel like I might need it in the future. All the paperwork that comes into the house, and empty boxes and bubblewrap, etc. It becomes a burden weighing down on me, and yes, it does require regular culling! My mother is facing a major downsizing soon, and it will be a real project. I don't want to face that when my time to downsize comes, nor do I want to leave it behind for someone else to deal with!

We have moved several times. I cull the house like crazy. Yet, when I watch the packer pack and when I unpack. I think....why did I save that????? This last move I was brutal as my things are in storage as we wait on our house to be built. My husband went through the garage trash and pulled things out. Now mind you, my husband never sets foot in the garage. He actually pulled out a fan with a broken grill. Yes a 10 dollar fan. I am already cringing because I know cleaning out his parents house will fall on me. He is extremely attached to his parents, memories of their home, and junk. He has his basket ball jersey from his 10 year old team. He is now 45.

When I was a child, my mother left my bio father. She only took her kids and a laundry basket of clothes. I do not form attachments to things. I once through away my birth certificate and my adoption paperwork during a cleaning binge.

I do agree with the other poster. As I am getting older. I do find myself busy caring for the children and not the same time for my sorting. You know what? I will say I am attached to their baby things. I guess because I have nothing from my childhood, I have saved a couple of my favorite outfits for each child.

my MIL has psych problems, she lived in a small garage apartment on our property..she is a hoarder.. even her car was piled with stuff..trash, papers, magazines. broken dishes,art supplies, baskets, plastic containers, receipts, tax business papers from 10 years ago, old clothes, bags of recycling bottles and cans and filthy old smelly musty and moth ball smelling stuff.. helping her clean i once found a ketchup bottle in a plastic bag under an easy chair. it was so old it was dark brown.. she remarried, has moved 800 miles away and i am still finding her crap in the garage. this is after she had 2 dumpsters filled within 12 months.. i have not been to the new place.. i can only wonder..

i do not mind clutter..if the house is clean, floors, windows, sinks and counters, porch, patio, outside of appliances, bathroom, etc.. but that kind of trash and hoarding is really sad.

she never taught her son how to clean or be organized and guess who is stuck holding the (garbage) bag? hahahaha i love my man and he is smart and organized at work, when he comes home it is a whole other story..

i am getting ready for winter and cleaning closets and cabinets and putting summer things away and getting out he winter stuff..ugh,,we have literally 2 closets..so things have to go to the garage and shed.. and when i get the place back together i have to put my foot down and set some rules..

EVERYTHING has a home and it's place....especially bad when the kids were living at home, small house, before they flew the coop, what is so hard about putting it back after you use it? and if you drop a potato chip or some food or paper or twist tie or something on the floor why can't some people pick it up? they leave it and will walk by it 10 times!!!!

i just tell myself to forgive, they know not what they do...

There is a suffocating force in our society that evaluates people based on what they own and how they look. Very damaging, ruins marriages and drives people who are actually very fortunate, to despair over what they lack. Acquiring becomes a knee-jerk reaction to any material need that people become aware of, rather than making-due or devising ways to solve the problem differently. Buying things becomes a way to "level up." This is a warped relationship to things. How freeing it is to live simply. Gardenspice said that her little 840 sq. ft. house kept her honest. I really like that point of view. The first bed I bought was a quaint Japanese futon, how I loved it. So light and simple, I could toss it into my car. And now I have a solid cherry bed that is neither light nor simple.... in fact I can't even move it, but I really love it too.

My biggest stumbling block is paper (no surprise there), especially children's artwork, tenderly crafted cards, adorable school and scout projects, in addition to DH's and my old journals and such. Other paperwork is so dull and dreary, once I figured out how to organize them, it's just a matter of putting things where they belong. The life lesson I'm learning now is to just store children's things in the attic, and spend time with my family rather than agonize over what to do with the things their precious hands made when they were younger. I've earned the few hours that it will take them to sort our 2 or 3 boxes of stuff after I've died, charming things saved because they are well-loved. I hope they enjoy the memories when the time comes. Or, maybe my house will burn down and no one will have to deal with it! : ) Either way, I cannot part with it on my own.

"This is one of the problems I've had with having too much stuff- we never seem to know what we have when it's all crammed in rather than stored loosely in a way where we can see it."

quasifish, I know the feeling. Lately I've been telling my husband the main thing we don't have enough of is not this item or that item but organisation, that is what we are most lacking.

so true tally sue

so my old house is still a mess. I have been moving things around, cleaning the shed, sorting the barn, putting up plastic on old windows, clearing out books to make room for more..i read A LOT..ugh books are heavy putting away the yard fishing stuff aaway..lots of work getting ready for winter and time /weather is getting short. I have no help except hubby on the weekends. He is tired of the stuff too and has no organizational skills so it is an up hill battle..His work is demanding and is fried when he gets home. I have some health issues, so I have to balance it. my good energy/less pain days I push too much and pay for it the next day.

I do not want to spend so much of my life taking care of everything. Kids are grown and all the cleaning, putting away, shopping for food/ cooking, house stuff, the pets, trash, bill pay.... all of this is un paid full time work that makes the house run sooth. I want to do other things with my "good days"

This is why I am working so hard to get the place batten downed for winter. So that I can be comfortable, warmer than last year and work on my arts. Make a pie, sew a quilt. Plan my garden for the spring. It seems by the time I do the house stuff which is a constant battle in an old New England home with land, I have no energy or creative thoughts because I am worn out and in pain and have to take a day to recover.

I have found lots of good info from the people here and am trying to utilize the gardening/home tips to help smooth things out to make the house run smoother with less time and effort.

thanks for letting me rant.

In the "Art of Tidying Up" Marie Kondo recommends that you move all things of like kind to the same area/room to sort and purge. The wisdom in this is that everything is gathered in one place so you are confronted with how much you have of the item (like clothes/blouses or clothes/sweaters or clothes/shoes, or shovels/hand shovels, shovels/spades, hand lotion/make up/toiletries, collectibles, kitchen gear, books stacked by topic, etc and then sort and purge based on this information. Storing things in several places around the house/basement/sheds/garage can result in vast over-accumulation because you lose a sense of just how much you are stockpiling. It's like an intervention for yourself that you stage. Then you ask yourself what is truly useful to you now. "Use" becomes the yardstick to measure what you keep, not sentimental value or "what if" scenarios. Old things generally are "used" and should be discarded. Some mementoes are worth keeping, but for clarity, most should be let go. Yet she encourages you to be thankful for what the item gave you when it was useful. And like Flylady, she tells you to allow the item to bless someone else. What a perspective!

gwck, I came to this realization because of DH, who is a perfect example of losing track of what he has, mainly clothing and groceries. ("I didn't know if you had any so I bought some (food)). Drives me nuts. It isn't too excess, but storage room is limited as is freezer space at times and I loose track. Cooking is my job, leave the logistics to me!!

I'm going to clear out the coat closet rack that houses soooo many hats and scarves. He doesn't wear half of them. I have a clear shoe bag on that door for gloves and scarves, again, some he never wears. That is this week's goal………..