I would be tempted to go for it because it sounds like you are really in love with this house and you have been looking a long time. You might visit the new school just to ensure your son will get similar care, if you havent already. Who knows, by the time your twins are old enough to decide they want their own room, your older son may have moved out, or you may have moved again. Other than your son's learning differences, I wouldnt be too worried about moving them to a new school at first grade. That is still a very young age and they will quickly adapt to a new school.

I am sorry to do this, but when I read your post, I read between the lines that the school is not as good but it is not so bad either. If I misread that then ignore the rest.

I would be very hesitant to move from a good school.

Before, I tell you why, let me say I am somewhat qualified to talk about this but not so qualified that I pretend I am expert. The difference between good schools and bad schools is usually the neighborhood. Really, it is the parents of the kids in the school, how parents hold their kids accountable, how they value education, and how involved they are. These things are too often tied to socioeconomic status, thus they end up being the neighborhood. The value of your kids going to a good school is not just the education they get but the peer pressure they are exposed to. At some point your kids will make decisions about what kind of person they are going to be, whether that happens in elementary school or middle school I think depends on the kids. You, as the parent, have a partial say in that decision but their peers will also have a significant influence, probably far too significant. If the new school is in a good area with people that you want your kids growing up emulating, then moving doesn't sound like a bad idea. If not, then moving sounds bad.

Whenever we moved to a new town/house we always checked out the schools first. Our children are our priority. The schools had to be great. (We also volunteered every week in the classroom up till the end of middle school, then just did committee work, fundraisers, etc. after that) Didn't matter if we liked a house better in a different town. Commute time to work didn't matter, etc. I think this is especially important if you have a special needs child. Don't compromise the help he is now getting for real estate. Another house will come along in the future, just keep an ear out. So in answer to your question, I would stay put til a better home in the same school district as the one you are currently in came available. NancyLouise

I would make an appointment at the school your son would be attending and meet the principal. See what the new school has to offer your son. That would give you a little more information to go on. With that said I would be concerned that your sons will have to share a bedroom since they are used to having their own rooms.

Thanks all-- I think a visit to the school and conversation with the principle is sound advice

Bry you are very perceptive. Both are good schools but the current school is better-- API 920 vs 880. Current school is also very academically rigorous which is good for one twin but could prove to be a bit demoralizing for the other.

NancyLouise you are right about priorities which is why we've stayed put perhaps you are right that the right house will come up within the district but that hasn't happened for several years. The setting is really what stands apart-- just can't get that in district.

Acadia the own room thing is a big concern. The twins are together a lot and share lots of things like clothes and toys. Giving them their own space gives them some independence-- would hate to take that away.

Again good areas are more important to me than good schools. As your kids age you will relinquish more control to their peers. Due diligence may include a districting map and a weekend driving around,.

Re: own rooms: I grew up in a large family with 2-4 kids per bedroom. We all still grew up very independent. Sharing a room has zero impact on independence. In fact, I'd argue that it teaches them important life skills: how to compromise and get along with others.

FWIW, I have a sister with 9 kids. The kids actually opted for one all-girls room and one all-boys room, leaving a couple bedrooms empty.

New house, no question. If your quality of life improves, so does theirs...

Numbers don't always tell the true story on a school. People make the school. The staff, teachers, students, other parents, etc. Make a visit or two to the school. Hang around after school and try to run into or at least observe the other parents. Attend any events that my be at the school such as sporting events, or a play. My kids will tell you to look at the parking lot. What kind of cars do the teachers drive compared to the kids or the parents. Seems weird but my kids 18 & 21 think that the fact that the "kids" in their school drove much better cars than the teachers really said a lot about the school. Too much to write here.

If your 6th grader stays at his school, does that mean you are in the same school district, but in a different elementary school? That doesn't seem a drastic change. You could probably request your twins stay in the same school, but you have to provide transportation. Sounds like a pain, but those years go fast.

Otherwise, kids are adaptable. Those numbers you stated didn't seem too far apart, and they seem to feed into the same schools. We moved to a new school district when my kids were going in 1st, 6th and 9th grades. It was very hard on the older children, but the 1st grader took it in stride. That child had an IEP that followed him.

If you hate your current house, and love this one, I would say move. The yard sounds like it is worth it alone. When we ask our kids what they miss about our old house, they don't say their friends, their schools, their sports teams. They say they miss our yard. They miss the tree that was out back, the field behind the house, etc....

One thing I haven't seen mentioned -- twins sharing a room doesn't sound like a hardship, but if you are planning on 3 boys, two 1st graders and one 6th grader, sharing a bedroom, I think you are asking for trouble. That's a pretty big age difference when they are young, but you are heading into pre-teen and teen years and they are going to be miles apart. You don't want the 6th grader to be held back and you sure don't want to thrust those 1st graders into the teen world before their time. I don't think this house works for you unless you use all three BRs full time and/or plan to add on with one or two more.

Move! We live near a small, rural school and there are advantages to this...especially if you have a child with learning disabilities.

Our school is well-known for special needs services and also has fewer kids...so more one-on-one time for all kids with teachers. Just make sure your school has these services.

As for the rest of it...I think ALL the kids will enjoy the benefits of a rural lifestyle.

One question...do you have room for a pony? :)

This reminds of me when I was about 11 we moved from a suburb to a rural area. Culture shock! I didn't own jeans and everyone wore them to school. One of the first days at school someone showed me their ringworm they got from touching cows, LOL. Also, I was ahead of everyone academically. Eventually I adjusted and insisted my mom buy me jeans and sneakers and let me wear them to school.

So as I was saying about looking at the cars in the parking lot, look at what the kids are wearing at the new school. If needed adjust your kids wardrobe.

I say don't move just yet. Your special needs child is your priority. If he can't get the services he needs than you are making a mistake. Kids do need their privacy and not that sharing a room is bad, I alway had to, it's not ideal.

Since this school will feed into the same middle school as your current neighborhood, I wouldn't worry so much about the "cars in the parking lot."

Many areas allow children with an IEP to go to school of parents choice. We have moved 8 times. I have experienced just about every schools situation with my children. I also have a special needs child.

We had a lovely public school. We needed to move from one city to another. The new public school was horrible I walked in and immediately picked up on little things. The lunch room was filthy. No respect from the students Food was all over the floor. I found out the school was 28% free/reduced lunch. I left the tour and immediately signed my son for private school. Quiet lunch room and clean. We moved states. My children went to public school again Amazing school and number 1 in the state. In this particular area population growth was unreal. We lived almost three full school years In that area. The county will experience it's 3rd redistricting. We have moved again. My children are back in private school. After the amazing public school...the public schools in our new area do not compare. My children's education comes before anything. My number one criteria for school is free/reduced lunch numbers. I have checked out endless schools. After knowing this number. No other numbers matter.

At your children's age they adjust to a new school easily. I agree with the other poster. The quality of the school/students is completely indictiative of the quality of the neighborhood and moral standards. I have gone through this so many times.

My number one criteria for school is free/reduced lunch numbers. I have checked out endless schools. After knowing this number. No other numbers matter.

Very interesting.

Wow, tough area. I have lived in areas, where there are neighborhoods with more reduced lunches...but that doesn't mean the kids are misbehaving. It depends on what wages the jobs provide in the area.

Many small towns have people, who make lower incomes. Sometimes it's because housing is cheaper...but often it's because of the commute. People will choose to work in the area and be more involved with the community, rather than driving an hour to work in the downtown area of a larger city.

Once you start commuting, then the shopping is easier and errands are easier...and no one will be there to support local businesses. I guess small town living might be a little different...

I don't know what would qualify as reduced lunch numbers, but I'm sure there are people working full time (in this economy) who might need the extra help. And stay at home moms, who spend time with their kids and get by with less income. Just an observation.

Well, there is much I could respond to the above but that would really, really derail your post. What I can tell you is that as far as the privacy issue, number of bedrooms is really on part of the equation. How a place lives gives a better determination of privacy. In my house, my 3 boys, 17, 11 and 8 share a large bedroom. Privacy is generally not an issue because there are other places they can go for their privacy, including outside. For the schooling situation, I think you need more information about your options. You need to find out if the younger children can stay in the same school and also what other services are offered at the new school. I can tell you my 11 year old has an IEP and our rural, small school system that also includes a large amount of free-reduced lunch numbers has worked remarkably well with him. All of the teachers in the school know him, they are aware of what his needs are and have been diligently working with me as a team to help him be the best he can be. They have worked as a team to figure out the best fit in teachers each year, etc. The principal of the middle school has held staff training so that all of the staff are equipped to help the autistic children in the school. My experience is that numbers of any sort will tell you a limited side of the story.

IEP's must be followed now matter how large or small the school. After many years in public education, i can tell you that what makes the most difference in a school is the building leadership and that can change on a dime. I've lived and taught in very wealthy districts and in buildings where more than 85 percent of the kids were on free lunch...provide your children with opportunities outside of school if you're concerned with their peers Good teachers make a difference, concerned parents make a difference......
If the neighborhood is so bad are you sure you want to live there??
The most successful person i know is a woman who went to school in a very small rural district in a very poor area in the 3rd poorest state in the US, she's married to a very nice also successful guy who was raised on "aid to dependent children" due to a parent dying when he was 18 months old.
MOVE

I would make sure that the small, rural school is able to properly accommodate the IEP. Just because a school is supposed to doesn't mean they can or will. If they can't or won't accommodate it to the same level as he's receiving at his current school and don't have a satisfactory alternative option I wouldn't move. When my older son was in preschool he attended a private school for special needs students that went up to grade 8. Many of the students' tuition was paid for by small, rural school districts who couldn't meet the students' needs within their school districts. The parents of one of the students though was suing their large, suburban school district because their son had previously attended the school district and the district refused to follow the child's IEP so they had pull him out and send him to this school.

It's not worth moving if the new school isn't able to properly accommodate your special needs child. I've seen the nightmares and fights other parents have gone through when schools fight IEPs.

Agree with tcufrog 100%. I am in a large, nationally ranked school district which was great for my typical child but a disaster for my special needs child. School systems are not required to place kids in the school the parent requests, nor do they always interpret the level of support in an IEP the same way. If I were considering a move I would try to talk to other parents whose kids have the same challenges yours does before I made any decisions. My biggest regret is that I didn't move to a school district that would have supported my son better.