Have you asked him to take the pictures down? I would think he would rather do that than have an irate customer on his hands posting things to his facebook page. It doesn't bode well for him to use an unhappy customer in his advertising. If I were in his shoes and a customer asked me to remove pictures for whatever reason, I would do so without hesitation.

No, I haven't asked him to take them down, and I think he's delusional enough to be, or at least act, surprised. I've been biting my tongue for months, trying to avoid upsetting him while this job remains incomplete. I'm considering doing my own satirical version of his facebook page, or, after he's out of here (if that ever happens), adding my own comments. I don't particularly want him to know I'm reading his posts because I'm trying to keep tabs on him during this job.

If I felt like you do, I would just tell him that I changed my mind and no longer feel comfortable having pictures of my home on his website and/or facebood page. You don't have to offer any further explaination.

I think he would ask for further explanation, especially since the permission is in his contract. Of course, so is his anticipated end date, which was in February.

Then explain further. It is in his best interest to remove the pictures and you don't know what he will say until you tell him how you feel. I would have no problem at all saying that I wanted to renegotiate that point in the contract, in light of the present circumstances. People are let out of contractual obligations all the time. You may get no argument at all. But maybe someone besides me will chime in with a different take on things ... ? :-)

Hmm sounds like a very frustrating situation. I can see how using your job for advertising would be really annoying while he's giving you poor service at the same time. If I were in that situation, I would probably focus on issues with the job itself rather than the facebook posts. Pick your battles. Not because he's in the right, but because arguing with him over the facebook posts would stress me out a lot but not do anything to fix the job.

I guess what concerns me most is that his facebook PR is misleading to potential customers and colleagues (most comments seem to be from the latter). I have no desire to argue with him or become contentious over this. I.e., I am picking my battles. So many people have frustrations with their contractors. We try so many ways to vet them yet are often disappointed anyway. Mine was recommended by a tradesman I trust. I bet he has no clue how this is working out.

The exact same thing happened to me. I created the plans. I drafted it and got the permit. I contracted strictly on labor.

Well I looked up and my laborer had posted pictures on Facebook. He never once stated that he was on a strictly labor project. I was annoyed because the quality wasnt there.

I cut it short. Took a financial lost and had someone come in and do it the right way.

I would think that a lot of people have pictures posted of their work where they didn't design the project or purchase the materials. They are using the pictures to showcase their craft. Right? I would think many subcontractors who work on projects for GC's would fall into that category. Shouldn't they be able to show pictures of the work they've done? Is it okay that GC's show pictures of their subcontractor's work on their sites? Should they state, "I had my sub do the actual work?"

i have to say, if you go to my pro pix i give credit where credit is do. its still my install though and my work. and how can anyone think they can get away with anything. i wish i could post more but cant due to copyright rules. thats my story and im sticking to it. :-)

jellytoast, Let me give you some examples:
1. My clever DH came up with a way to fake a beam to look like a large beam. Here's an [annotated] excerpt from the GC's FB post: "Trying to construct the larger beam out of a solid timber would
have been difficult...I decided [no you didn't] to make those elements myself...mitered, glued and nailed together. The end result is a
piece that looks like a solid beam, but was easier to handle..."

A reader comments " Great idea" I say, thank you on behalf of my DH.

2. FB post: "I'm working with a client...who has the hardest time
wrapping her head around 2d sketches, and even a...SketchUp
model. [true, especially when they're out of context] Putting a model into a photo should help. It better...we need to
start building it next week!"

A reader comments, "there
are way too many people that shudder at the mere thought of having to
make even the smallest of decisions. I hope you get this resolved soon!"

Implication: I just can't make decisions; I'm delaying the project.

Truth: He never gave me any kind of sketch for the FP. Instead, he described it, I said it sounded good; he provided the referenced photo. I immediately said ok. No delay whatsoever.

3. FB post: "What
do you do when you've laid out a pattern like the one on the left, and
your client decides they want it tighter...and you figured just enough
tile to do it the original way...and the tiles take a few days to get...and you need to wrap this
up NOW [I wish]...and you lay it all, and come up two tiles short?"

Truth: I wanted to get tile with pattern already built in to avoid this issue entirely, but GC insisted he could duplicate pattern I wanted. He got it wrong, despite having a photo to follow [I guess he has the hardest time wrapping his head around photos]. DH figured out how to do it correctly and laid it out for him. I told GC he could make the pattern looser if he didn't have enough of the referenced tile, as long as he followed the correct pattern, but he said he had enough tile.

4. FB caption showing his redrawing of OUR drawing, which we asked him and several other contractors to bid: "We have come up with a plan that will answer the client's needs, and make for a much better layout overall."

I won't bore you with more examples, but they're there.

Feddup, that is appalling behavior on his part. Unbelievable!!!

Feddup, FWIW, if I were looking for a GC and saw comments on their FB page criticizing a current client such as you've posted above, I would cross them off my list. He's only making himself look bad.

I guess he's bragging to his colleagues, but I agree. Other than the post about the FP, how can readers know he's criticizing a client? He's just so clever to come up with solutions!

what he is doing is libelous if he includes any way to identify you. I would find some way for him to identify you and then hit him with a very strongly worded letter.

What does that accomplish? I want him to finish my twice-as-long-as-promised project and go away. He has the code to my security system at the moment. I'm not afraid of him, per se, but I don't want anything to delay this further. We're barely speaking as it is. He's doing things I think are delaying the project anyway. He shows up at 9 or 10, leaves for lunch at 11, comes back at 2, leaves before 5, refuses to protect the newly installed countertops ("it's just dust"--right, like fine sandpaper), leans all his equipment up against freshly painted walls....I just want my house back.

Have you considered legal action if he does not cease and desist taking credit for your ideas, defaming and libeling you?

No. He's not using my name, and if I wanted to get an attorney, it would be for getting the work done 3 months ago. I just wish he realized what a liar he is, to himself probably, also.

I don't know what to say except that homeowners do not have to be held hostage in their own home by their contractor. If you are being treated poorly now, you will continue to be treated poorly until you demand that the treatment stop. Lay out some ground rules and insist that they be followed. It is your home. You are in control of how someone behaves in it. Walking on eggshells to avoid pissing him off doesn't appear to be working for you. Confrontation is never easy.

He has this amazing capacity to blow me off. After his dust sets off smoke alarm, I tell him (relaying advice from alarm company) to cover the alarm with plastic. He says "it's not that much dust." Alarm goes off again. He says he'll put plastic over it, but he says it as if he just thought of that himself. No matter what I say to him, he adapts this "gosh-golly, I'm just tryin' my best, ma'am" mannerism. Just now, the electricians can't find the screws for one of 13 sconces I bought. Happens to be the sconce I gave him when he said he wanted to see how it fit over the box. He says, "I just took it and gave it right back to you." I can't prove he lost it, but it's some coincidence. Nothing else I've been storing is missing.

While I certainly do not want to criticize you for what you are doing, I do want to point out that it is not working. He is going to continue to doormat you until you bite him, there are several ways to do that. I don't believe the normal response to the threat of legal action is to slow down the work, however, you know your contractor better than I do. A strongly worded letter saying you have been advised to pursue legal action but would prefer an amicable solution works pretty often. A construction blog where you document the problems can be another great way to show your teeth. Don't blame him for the problems, missing parts were stolen by the gremlins, long part runs and workers showing up late are simply because the city needs to fix traffic problems, etc. Post the good things he does too, but a pattern will emerge.

When I was in college my father did some work for a very successful developer that everyone hated working with. I watched the guy throw people off job sites for the dumbest reasons, wearing tennis shoes, interrupting him, etc. He liked me and took me to lunch a few times, he once told me that he was an ass because it solved problems. Subs handled their own mistakes because they hated calling him, people worked all night to avoid telling him they were behind, other things like that all the time. Now in a single remodel I am not sure you should be that guy, but maybe flexing a little boss muscle might be in order.

I tried being firmer with him today about a couple things. One, right after I paid someone to clean my house (a biweekly occurrence the GC is well familiar with by now), I saw him walking through the just-cleaned hallway to find me. I asked him to stop; I actually had put up a barrier but had to move it. He said, "I took my shoes off." He had, but he's always tracking stuff through the house, and besides, it's my house. Maybe I wanted to sit naked at my desk and didn't want him coming through. Do I have to justify every move I make in my own house? He gave me a "tch."

Pick your battles better, I can't help but think that tracking dirt in your house is not the problem rather it is a sign of exactly how annoyed you are at your contractor. I think you are at the point that everything he does is going to annoy you. Fight for the things that will get him done faster or will make the work better and let all the other stuff go. He is going to make a mess in your house, he is going to find the worst times to work, and he is going to generally annoy the hell out of you. Whether he is doing it for spite or whether you are simply reaching the limit is another discussion and really doesn't matter, if you want your life to get better, figure out a way to get him done faster.

Agree with bry911, and I'll add that given the tone and content in his FB posts, he is annoyed with you as well. The sooner the two of you part company, the better. I don't really understand this tip-toeing around that customers feel they have to do to keep their poorly performing contractors on the job. He is already barely there! It sounds like you both need to admit that you are annoying each other to death (I don't think either of you is fooling the other) and agree to a way to get him out of there as quickly as possible. One way ... no more checks without something to show for it. If you agreed to weekly progress payments and there is no progress, well then, no check. If there really is "no end in sight" then you are in for a world of hurt.

Sorry to read about your contractor problems. First thing I would do is to change my alarm code. I would never give someone who does not live in my home my alarm access code. (maybe a sub-pass code with no authority with only access thru one door, if possible). They can come back after the job is completed. My safety is of utmost importance. Next I would have a sit down with him. Go over timeline he gave (which I suspect was idealistic). 'We can work out a weekly schedule (hours he will be allowed access) but I've got other things that need to be done by xxx time. I've already hired and deposit in place' (for whatever work you can dream up that would impact the kitchen).. The near future 'other' contractor work should overlap your kitchen to justify why this guy has to be finished with your kitchen by a certain date. Also he should be able to tell you how long each remaining task should take to complete. Write them down and both of you sign off on it. (Setting expectations).

Re: the FB puffing crap. Let it go till after he's out of your house. Then, depending on how you feel about things, you can call him out on his own FB page! Bet u'd be banished off his FB after that but you may feel great! - LOL

Also, not all male contractors are ok working for a female, don't mean in the strictest sense. Women do not know home improvement installs, etc. If you're a TKO'er I suspect you know much more about your kitchen *everything*. For my kitchen project, I prolly read every scrap of paper that came with an item, appliance, etc. One of the guys working on my reno kinda had an attitude when I tried to tell him things regarding my kitchen *everything*. I made mention that the stove electrical/gas line had to be installed a certain way. He felt different. I let it go. Guess who was back on a weekend at the last minute to re-do the stove hookups? Yep.

The fact that he's not busy with other jobs being lined up (this *is* april, you know) tells me he may not have been a good pick. He would be finishing up and out of there. I would monitor the situation but definitely get a game plan together on the real possibility of bringing someone else in to finish the job.

Good luck

I think if you are not going to address the current construction problems and continue using him than I would let the fb posts go (no matter how infuriating they are). Maybe after he is finished with the job, post on his fb site a link to this thread. Or play dumb, and say "I saw your fb page. I thought my dh came up with the idea for the beam. I'll have to ask him."

I'm sorry you are going through this. It does sound stressful.

Re "He is already barely there!" This is not something new. I started tracking his time from the beginning because he started missing days and working short hours almost immediately. Changing alarm code doesn't seem helpful; contract guarantees him access to job, which he could claim I'm blocking. He has a temporary code. We've already asked for schedules, plans, etc., but they're out the window almost as soon as they're out of his mouth. So much as gone wrong. He damaged the new cabinet. It had to go back. He thought they could sand out the gouge he put in it. I was dubious, and I was right. That delayed the counter top, which delayed the backsplash, which is delaying the painter. If I point out a mistake, he acts like I've done something wrong. It IS very stressful. I've been through lots of renovations, and they all have their problems, but nothing like this. I've barely touched on things that have gone wrong.

He started this project about 3 months after he told us he would be available when we decided to hire him. Now I know why. I'm sure the next poor victim is wondering why he didn't start her project in February when he promised. Can't wait to see the next FB description.

Sounds like the guy I had here, lol, along with his partner in crime. Is he charging a full day's labor for all that BS? It won't get better. He's got a bad attitude, probably doesn't like working for women and likes to take advantage of and get under their skin. His feathers are ruffled and it won't get better. I would suggest terminatIng him asap.

The FB stuff is annoying, but let's face it, any company that mocks their customers on facebook is headed for the red.

I don't think "guaranteed access" to a home means the ability to come in whenever they want and that they have to be given a key or an alarm code. I think it means you will be there to let him in to start work at a reasonable hour on regular business days.

As jellytoast says, especially since your saying the home is occupied. No reason at all for him to have the pass code for the alarm system.

Mags438 and snookums2,
When you suggested that the problems I'm having with my male contractor might be attributable to working for a woman, I thought, nah. Among his many problems, sexism doesn't seem to be one of them. Plus, he's working for a male/female couple (although I'm the one who deals with him daily).

But DH and I tried a little experiment: We sent him email that I primarily composed but got DH's input, as I usually do. But this time, we sent it from DH's email, not mine. We signed both our names.

Instead of the usual hostile reply, the GC replied using only DH's name, began by thanking him for his prompt response (funny because it took much longer than our usual replies), and was completely polite and obliging.

snookums, I was intrigued by your reference to your contractor's partner in crime. Is it an architect?

No, no, lol. Just his other half on the job. That act was joined at the hip.

Oh. Mine works with an architect. They recommend each other, and he pressures customers to use her. I know he needs blueprints, but wish I'd just found a draftsman. She was an expensive annoyance. Doesn't know how to use autocad programs, so she makes little colored-pencil drawings. Instead of a click to move a wall (I can do this using a free, layperson-friendly program), she spends who knows how much time ($$$) doing another drawing. With no dimensions. When asked, she's not sure what scale she used.

Well this is all beyond a weird experience. I take it you verified credentials?

She is a registered architect, but it didn't matter. We didn't really want or need one. The GC likes working with her; he has no taste, and she can't use a computer. Together, they're a whole person (but charge for 2). Someone had to draft the plans, and we thought she'd put in a couple hours, point out any egregious problems we might have overlooked in the plans we already designed ourselves, and maybe provide entry to trade-only businesses. None of the above. Her little colored-pencil drawings racked up big bills, she all but refused to do some key features we wanted ("I drew it, but I didn't like the way it looked"!!), did not foresee the eyesore that would result from moving a door, etc. We finally said "STOP." Her building plans included many unwanted and expensive features we'd rejected, so even the final plans, the one thing she had to do, were wrong.

When this is over, I'm going to get that memory-erasing agent from "Men in Black" so I can get some peace of mind.

Your story about this GC and architect sounds like the perfect storm of stupid. How on earth do these two people continue to get jobs? How did you come across the GC and choose to hire him? If this pair acted like this for previous jobs wouldn't you see reviews? I am not blaming you I am just wondering how they could continue to get work if they have always been so horrible. Maybe reputation management and review removals and FB post removals?

feddup Not very professional of him in the least. I wonder what must be going through his mind to post comments like that on FB? I ALWAYS look up people on the net to find out more info before and do it on a regular basis since I've bought and sold livestock. If someone posted like I'd never even consider them for the job. At least know that it will deter some people from giving them their hard earned money. IMO a professional should never discuss other clients in this manner, even if it were true.

Vith,
You ask the same questions we asked ourselves. We are remodeling vets. Though that experience has lowered our expectations of contractors, we also thought we knew the red flags and right questions to ask. I talked to a lot of references; the architect's reviews were mixed (and didn't mention her 19th-century technological skills), but the GC's were great. I'm fairly certain these were legit customers. The only explanation I can discern is that the GC has some family problems that recently worsened. I can have compassion and tolerate a little delay and forgetfulness and mistakes, but his facebook posts show that he knew about these problems before starting. At the very least, he should have been upfront about them and asked us if we still wanted to proceed with him. Instead, he voluntarily gave us a completely misleading number of workdays and finish date--completely doable had he shown up daily and worked full days. He put these in his contract, without being asked to, but as "expected," not guaranteed. And then he started having reasons to not be here almost immediately. Or he'd say he was "on his way" to discuss something with me, then show up 4 hours later. So not only is he gone, but I'm waiting around, messing up my schedule (then I'd have to work into the night because I don't miss my deadlines). Or he'd show up, collect his check, and disappear for the rest of the day. He'd often take 3 hours for lunch. And, despite all his personal-problem delays, that didn't stop him from taking several days off to attend a trade conference. You'd think he could sacrifice seeing his buddies to finish a job that's already months behind.

littlemonkeys: "I wonder what must be going through his mind to post comments like that on FB?" I wondered that myself. Think he's delusional. He's a pretty good carpenter and should stick to carpentry. He wouldn't make much money because he's s-l-o-w.