Tempting as it is to think of our older teens as adults, they are not. Their decision making skills are not always the best. Even if your teen is the most responsible teen you know, a house with no adult supervision is just crying out for a party. Don't you remember those days? If you heard of a kid whose parents were out of town, there was bound to be a party and usually, these parties attracted kids that weren't invited, so a small get together morphed into a big, out of control free for all. Thats the way it usually works, unfortunately for the parents who own the house. So, the lesson to be learned from this is don't take a chance, never leave a teen in charge, always have a responsible adult to at least check up on things. Sorry this happened, but at least no one got hurt or arrested.

DO NOT CONTACT YOUR INSURANCE!! Seriously that is the worse advice ever!

We had homeowners insurance cancelled for calling to ask about possibly filing a claim. Two phone calls = 2 claims with $0 paid out (we never even filed a claim). Homeowners insurance is for catastrophe, not maintenance.

I agree, you are so lucky no one was hurt. My friend left her 16 yr old son alone for the first weekend away ever since raising him as a single parent. He was allowed to have his best friend over and no more. When she arrived home on Sunday, she couldn't figure out why there were crows on her roof and there were police cars in front of her house. Turns out he had a party and word travelled and it got out of control. People he didn't even know were there. They trashed her house to the tune of $30,000. And that was over 10 years ago when repairs cost less and social media wasn't what it is today. Today its even easier for word to get around about a party. They took everything from her chest deep freezer and threw it on the roof. Thus the crows were eating raw steak and pork chops etc. up there. They took every squirt bottle from the fridge they could find and squirted mustard, ketchup etc. all over the ceilings, carpets, walls. There were holes right thru walls into other rooms. They took her record collection and Frisbeed them at the chest freezer destroying them all and the freezer was all dented and ruined (likely more then record Frisbees). And on top of all that her son had passed out and wouldn't wake up. Thankfully his friend had the brains to call 911 since he nearly died of alcohol poisoning. The 911 call also brought the police who were still there dealing with everything when she got home. She did use insurance or she would have been bankrupt. The insurance company told her the only reason they were even covering it was because the police had been called and it was classed as a crime (home invasion). Had the police not been called, no coverage.

Maybe this will help make yours look a little less upsetting. It could have been worse I guess.

No, I've decided not to bother with insurance. It seems like it should be an under $1K repair, so there is no need to risk it. I live in a high fire danger area where others have been having a very hard time getting insured or end up being randomly dropped. Definitely not something I want to worry about.

I've not heard back from the fabricator, yet. A bit concerning, since Tre suggested getting it fixed ASAP to avoid contamination / lost pieces.

Oh my, I am so sorry to see this. I remember we were doing our counters about the same time, I really hope you get a clean repair! And what a tough situation you are in with regards to the boy, I hope that both parents see the seriousness of the situation and can act together on appropriate discipline for this kid.

For all the comments about how he's a teenager and shouldn't be expected to have good decision-making skills, there are a bazillion teenagers who don't do this. It is totally fair for you to expect him to make better decisions than this.

Thank you, fishy mom. I do remember you :)

Agreed, Jillius. I had my own apartment at his age and bought my first house two years later. I also raised two sons, so I am familiar with the occasional poor decision but not the blatant disrespect and dishonesty. That is what's most disheartening about this situation.

Woot! I just received an email back from the fabricator. We're working on an appointment time right now :)

I'm wondering if perhaps your SO's son should be involved in the appointments so that he can see what is involved, (time, expense, inconvenience, etc) in repairing his "mistake in judgement". May not work with school etc but just a thought.

Re: telling insurer: we have a terrific agent who has been very straightforward with us in his advice as to whether filing a claim is worth it or not, for home and auto, and what the outcome will be if we do file.

Just because we say teenagers don't always have good judgment does not mean it excuses the behavior. As the adults, your judgment comes in to play here - can you trust the teen enough to give him that responsibility? Sadly, the OP found out the hard way she can not. He does need some consequences, otherwise he won't learn from his mistake as everyone has to do. Great ideas here, have him attend appointments, pay for damages, etc. If he is planning on attending college and live on campus, I'd let him know that is off the table for now, he can either apply to community college or plan on working after graduation. Because seriously, if you can't trust him while he still lives at home, odds are not good he will be mature and responsible in college either.

I agree with the consequences, but not the college change. That's too important to his future, if he's going.

What about picking up horse poop for the summer? LOL I have five horses :)

Seriously, I like the 'community service' idea. Maybe mandatory volunteer/helping at a community center for the summer?

The link NoSoccerMom posted is the kind of thing I really worry about with my youngest. My two aren't the type who'd actively make plans for a wild party if I were away ... but I can TOTALLY imagine them inviting over 1-2 girlfriends, and they wouldn't fuss if the girlfriends brough just a little bit of alcohol. I can imagine the girlfriends bringing a couple guys, who might then text a couple more guys, who'd bring more beer ... and I can TOTALLY see my youngest being up for a quiet evening with a couple girlfriends and a sneaked wine cooler apiece ... but then it turning into much, much more. And while my youngest wouldn't plan the party herself, she also wouldn't be willing to stand up for herself and say, "Hey, y'all leave now before this gets out of hand!"

In fact, I remember something similar happening (on a much smaller scale) while I was in high school. My boyfriend came over unannounced while my mom was out, and I KNEW I should tell him he wasn't allowed to be there while I was alone, but he'd walked (two hours) to come see me. I knew I had to either make him or my mom mad. Being a kid, I chose wrong -- I chose to make my mom mad. I was stupid.

Time to put things into perspective: Nobody got hurt and hopefully, the kid learned a lesson. Many of highly upstanding and successful citizens I know did worse when they were teens.

I sometimes think that many people in authority completely overreact and criminalize what is "normal" behavior, like suspending that first grader and putting it on his permanent school record when he chewed his pastry into a gun....

It's not about him not having consequences, which are certainly warranted here. I just think some of us are reacting to the strength of reaction and judgment here about a situation many of us likely found ourselves in - during an era that was less moralistic and legalistic about it all. Picking up on what nosoccermom is saying, this thread has been reminding me somewhat of a bit I heard once from Garrison Keillor on The Prairie Home Companion. His narrative basically questioned whether our extreme approach and criminalization to alcohol-related events has actually led to a better world, telling stories about a simpler, kinder time where communities understood these problems existed and afforded opportunities for learning without the procurement of consequences that shut down opportunities, and therefore, motivation to change. He was referring to an era earlier than my own childhood, but it rang true for my own childhood in my own small town neck of the woods. It's a great, and thought-provoking, piece of work. Wish I could find it again. I've searched several times without avail.

bpathome

My point precisely is that I did NOT make a claim. I called and asked a question about coverage and Prudential Insurance sent me a letter saying I had a 'claim' with zero dollars paid out. I had Prudential probably 20 plus years at the time, never made a claim. This was after the Northridge earthquake and insurers were scrambling to exit California. You don't know what motivates insurance companies and you don't want someone to lose their insurance over what is basically maintenance. That is not what homeowners insurance is designed for. It was a nightmare for me (and many others) to recover from.

Just wanted to say thank you to OP Errant for posting this. You probably had no idea it would go in this direction, huh?

Well, even though this is a "kitchen" forum, not a morality or parenting forum, I want to let you know that this thread helped me at just the right moment. Seriously!

Just after reading this, I had the opportunity to use a few of these experiences to give an FWI to someone very close to me. Perfect timing. Thank you all for your experiences. Might have saved lives!

Also, as a step-mom to two sons, I know all the drama involved with that...

I sincerely hope your granite gets fixed as near to perfect as possible. I also hope one day, down the road, out of sheer relief everyone survived, you both can have that deep down belly laugh that heals these wounds.

Errant-is there any update? Were they able to fix the granite?

Funny, was just thinking about this thread today and also wondered whatever happened.

No update, yet. Still waiting to get the fabricator out here. Small job, long drive, hopefully I don't have to wait much longer.

Yay! He's here to make the repair! Keep your fingers crossed :)

Keep an eye on him! Take photos! Woo hoo! Happy it's finally getting fixed!

Fingers crossed. Eyes too, hurry up! :)

I am happy with the repair. I can still see it, because I know where to look, but I don't think anyone else would notice.

Hmmm the color actually looks more off in the picture than it does in person.

I honestly don't know where it is. :)

I can't see it, either. Nice job!

Wow. I know there's a repair there because you're telling me there is but I can't see it at all!

I say you can declare it a success! At least as much as one can in this situation. They did a great job imo.

Yay! You have no idea how much it means to hear you all say that. Thank you!

I compared before and after photos and I STILL can't see the repair. Nicely done. I hope the follow-up with He Who Perpetrated has been equally successful!

Wow...I sorta-kind remember the original, and I can't find it now. Yay and phew!

Amazing repair! So what did it actually cost, and what is the kid doing to repay?

That is a great repair job since I can't even tell where it is!

I'd put my name on that repair. They don't get much better.

Wow! That is an awesome repair job! So glad you found someone who did such great work.

Wow, what a great job. I don't even see that the colour is off.

What a relief! Looks great!

Wow, I can't see it either - looks perfect.

Wow, great repair. Please post reviews & pics for fabricator on Yelp & AL so others can find him/her.

I was going to say - Don't worry the repair is easy. Then I saw the after shot and was - where was it.

Nice save.

Sounds like a Beer Pong accident.....

Awesome! I'm so glad it worked out well for you.

I also compared the two photos so I would know where the repair is. However, despite blowing up the picture to 175%, I still could not see the repair. Congrats!

Thanks for updating us errant. I agree with everyone, I see nada! Shhhh, it never happened! Haha. Healing wishes for the family. Hopefully, now there can be closure.

Awesome job! Lucky you

For those who asked, the repair was only $250, paid in cash directly to the fabricator.

The boy has not had any real consequences. He was supposedly put on restriction, yet still rides to school with friends (who were also at the party), does not come home until late, went to a school dance unannounced, still has TV/computer/phone, and even used his dad's car (because he hasn't paid his own registration). I was told he will have to pay the repair, but doubt that will happen. All of that is out of my hands.

It looks amazing- I can't see where the repair is. Nice work!

And how frustrating that his parents are not following through on consequences, ugh! It's so hard to bite your tongue when you are in a quasi-parental role, but don't get to call the shots.

repair?? what repair??? so happy for you to have a fantastic resolution, now u can move on.....
from someone who was on the outside looking in: i think u are making a great decision to stay out of it. its the right thing to do for all concerned - for your relationships with SO and son... congrats and best of luck moving forward....

The repair (couldn't see it either!) looks like it was done flawlessly! Hooray!

Hope the consequence(s) with regards to your DSS are resolved soon, and to your satisfaction as well.